I feel like I'm going crazy, multiple miscarriages and chemicals have beaten me up mentally and I'm trying so hard to stay positive about this one but I can't help thinking it'll all go wrong.
My DH is incredibly supportive but he keeps touching my tummy and he's being extra nice to me right now lol, I feel like every MC I've had I've "let him down" and I've expressed guilt over this and he tells me not to be stupid and we will get through everything together good or bad. I'm so lucky to have him but my mind is doing major overtime at the minute, I can't sleep, I'm constantly knicker checking.
I suffer with anxiety and depression anyway, dr has signed me off over Christmas to give me 2 weeks to relax and luckily my boss and colleagues are supportive of this (only my boss knows I'm pregnant).
Every night I lay awake silently talking to my body asking it not to let this little one go and I feel like I'm losing the plot.
I'm on progesterone, 5mg of folic acid, I'm taking pregnacare plus and I'm making myself eat breakfast (never have) high vitamin D cereals etc and I hate milk so I've been having yoghurts for the calcium and also the odd babybel.
I feel like I'm trying my hardest to keep this one safe but I'm scared it's going to backfire.
I've booked an early private scan when I'll be 6 weeks in the new year just to hopefully see sac in the correct place, anything else would be a bonus but now I feel like I've jinxed myself, is anybody else feeling like this or am I irrational. Can't help feeling lonely in this as it's my body xx