Feeling useless

[chocolate26]

I'm 14 weeks pregnant on Saturday and I feel so useless, I've had awful sickness which luckily has eased a lot now but I have been off work since 6 weeks with it (going back after the Christmas break) this is our first baby so I haven't had to look after any other children just two dogs

I don't know how to explain how I feel and I don't know if maybe I'm just lazy? I was never lazy before being pregnant, I worked full time, cleaned, cooked lovely dinners every night for me and DH, walked our dogs daily etc but since being pregnant I just feel absolutely exhausted, sick and a bit down in the dumps even though I am over the moon to be pregnant and I love this baby already. I just feel like my DH and everyone else is looking at me like I'm useless some days I struggle to even do the washing or unpack our new house as we've just moved and I feel guilty for not cooking for my DH every evening.

I do my absolute best but all I want to do is lay down and sleep! Is this normal or am I just weak?

You're not weak at all and I'm sure no one thinks that of you but it's easy to become very sensitive in pregnancy, I've been terrible!
Growing a little one is a massive deal, they're taking lots from you so it's only natural you'll be more tired than normal and it affects everyone differently.
This is where you need some support from other people so don't put too much pressure on yourself to do a lot, you need to keep yourself healthy and well rested. Do little bits as and when you feel you can but don't feel obliged to 'do' anything. Perhaps try having a chat with your OH, just explain you're finding it difficult and ask for a bit of help 🙂

I am 21 weeks and so far the sickness and tiredness has been awful. I love my baby but hate pregnancy and feel the same about being useless. I used to be so active but now i struggle to do simple tasks and it is getting me down. I have just had to listen to my body and accept that growing my baby has had a massive affect on me. You need to be open wih ur OH and speak to him. I found it helps to have a good cry every now and again and to pat urself on the back when u do even the smallest thing. Set urself small tasks every day and try to do one or two. Dont be dismayed if u cant do everything. I washed the dishes yesterday and that was enough to make me smile for the evening.

I've been the same. We've turned the house upside down to accommodate the baby and I've had to let DP get on with it. I could get through the week but come the weekend and I'd just sleep. There were a few comments from DP about me being lazy but that's just him, he doesn't mean it and would be heartbroken if I thought he did.

I'm not 29 weeks and I'm a little better than I was. Had a couple of evenings / weekends when I've actually done something. And I don't feel wiped out all the time which is a bonus.

This is completely normal! I’m almost 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I feel exactly the same! In fact, I could have written this post!
I rejected the doctors offer to sign me off work because I couldn’t afford it, but I’ve called in sick about 4 times and feel like people think I’m useless. When I get home I just want to collapse on the sofa.
My husband has been great and has been cleaning, etc, and I’m also currently paying my mum to clean the house too.
I’m usually a ‘Mrs Hinch’ type person and my house is immaculate and I can’t stand mess, however I’ve just lost all motivation to do anything about it right now.
I hope our energy comes back soon!
You are growing a human, never feel useless, your body is doing an amazing thing and it’s going to suck all of your energy. That’s what I keep trying to tell myself anyway xx

I made a post like this the other day - I'm 15 weeks and totally useless! Still feeling sick and just have no energy or incentive to do anything. I haven't properly cooked in a few months now and DH is doing most of everything as I just have no mojo.

I'm just letting it be.

So thrilled to be pregnant but still waiting for that second trimester boost that people keep telling me to expect!

I’m feel exactly the same. I’m 11 weeks pregnant and have felt almost constant nausea since week 5. Even when I’m less nauseous I have no motivation to do anything. On Wednesday I had a really good day and felt almost normal! I rode my horse and went round my mums for lunch and felt great, I thought the real me was back! Unfortunately Wednesday night I got a terrible migraine and spent Thursday in bed apart from getting up to make toast and vomit. Today I’m back lying on the sofa with no energy and calling in sick. I’m wondering if over doing things on Wednesday has made it worse again.
Does anyone know if having a tiring day can make the sickness much worse?
I’m now wary of doing too much even if I feel ok

I think pushing yourself does nake it worse. I worked a long and stressful day because i felt I could on Monday and spent the rest of the week trying to get back to normal because I was so tired and so sick. I think there is defo a link between stress and tiredness and how sick I feel

Thank you @Aisah. I think you’re right. I’m starting to feel slightly better again but I think even if I do feel better I’m going to really try and pace myself. I was meant to work all weekend and I’m also working Xmas eve and Xmas day ( I’m a nurse) I think the anxiety about getting through all of that definitely didn’t help. Lucky my lovely friend/ colleague encouraged me to go off sick this weekend and I’m so glad she did.
I hope you feel better really soon xx

I feel like I wrote this post! I actually apologised to my OH the other day for being such a bore. I'm 11 weeks and if I'm not being sick then I feel sick and if I don't feel sick it's because I'm asleep. Luckily OH is being amazing and very understanding but I miss feeling like myself. And I feel awful feeling that way as we are so happy to have a baby on the way.

This is when I’m so glad I have mumsnet. I’m almost 22 weeks and just feeling so awful and exhausted. I have 2 DC already and the guilt is overwhelming. I’ve tried so hard to keep going but today I emotionally and physically broke!! Really good to hear that things get better soon. I agree with the pp and the thing to do is listen to your body and try not to be too hard on yourself. I really hope everyone on here feels a bit better soon and manages to get some rest. Making a baby is really hard !!!

HI OP, honestly, don't feel guilty. Pregnancy is really hard. I was lucky with my first, that I was relatively let off with symptoms. Now 37 weeks with my second and absolutely floored from day 1. I've gone from debilitating tiredness and nausea to spd and breathing difficulties. Everything, and I mean everything, I would usually do is out of the window and I am in survival mode with my DS (2). I cry almost daily that I can't keep up with him and am waiting for the day that I am physically able to be the mummy I was before, chasing and playing with him properly. I've also been signed off work for the last 3 months and been booked in for an elective section so have been labelled left right and centre for being 'weak' or 'taking the easy way out' . But OP, I think sometimes pregnancy is just a bitch, and you have to do whatever it takes to get through it and look after yourself and your baby - nothing else really matters. Stay strong, and rest whenever you can. Do not feel quilty at all, and try to enjoy the special moments as you go. You are doing a brilliant job

It’s so good to know I’m not alone feeling like this. I think I’ve realised I’m actually ok with feeling this way, I’ve got used to it. It’s the worry about work and what people think that makes me stressed. I really wish I’d just got signed off rather than going in sporadically. I have to decide tomorrow if I’m going to be able to work Xmas eve and Xmas day or not. If not it will cause my team major problems as we are on minimum staff Xmas day anyway

Thank you so much everyone for your comments it's so nice to hear that there's other people who feel the same as me! It really is tough and I have days where it gets me down more but I suppose we are all doing an amazing and a really difficult job making our tiny humans we deserve to take it easy when we need to and just do the best we can.

Happy Christmas everyone! I hope you have a lovely day

I felt like this too, I'm now 35 weeks and honestly I still feel better now than I did for most of the first and second trimesters. Much more able to just be up on my feet and get stuff done despite the fact I'm now absolutely massive which obviously is tiring in itself.

Thought i would add that it turns out i am anemic which explains the super tiredness. It is always worth having a check up blood test just to make sure all is ok.

@Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy dont feel guilty being off sick. Growing a little human is very hard work!