Avoiding family members with nasty colds when pregnant. AIBU?

[brightside11]

This is a AIBU type question...

My in-laws seem to get ill with colds quite frequently. One of them has been in bed unwell with one this week and now the other partner has said they are coming down with it (spoke to them on the phone earlier and they sounded pretty rough too). However they still want to meet up with us this weekend.

I am 28 weeks pregnant and have asthma, which has worsened recently with pregnancy. I would really like to avoid getting sick, as it usually leads to bronchitis for me. Also being pregnant I can't take my usual cold medications.

My in-laws don't seem to believe in avoiding other people when they have colds, for example they cooked for us recently even though they were full of congestion, coughing etc. My husband and I subsequently caught their colds. It stresses me out, as in my family of origin we are mindful about avoiding spreading viruses and would postpone a lunch or meet up if we were unwell out of consideration for the other. Or at the very least let them know they we were unwell beforehand so that they could make an informed decision about whether to risk getting ill.

We are supposed to be going to theirs for lunch on Saturday (two days away) & I would really rather not for this reason. Am I being unreasonable to politely decline and explain that I want to avoid getting sick if I can due to my pregnancy and asthma?

We see them most weeks and will be spending Christmas Day with them and so it's not like I'm cancelling a once in a blue moon get together. I'd also be fine if my husband went without me as long as he washes his hands etc as soon as he's home!

I wouldn't go. Not worth getting sick when your pregnancy.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and have just had a horrible cold. My advice would be to stay away!

Not unreasonable - you're just doing your 'job' of being a responsible mummy-to-be and making a decision in the best interest of your baby. I'd do exactly the same. Frankly, its their problem if they don't understand your need to protect yourself and your unborn child - the priorities are clear.

You’re not being unreasonable - I’d say that even without the asthma and pregnancy!

Absolutely not. Get your husband to say you’ll leave it and see them when they are better

Yanbu, everyone in my family gives everyone else the guilt-free option to stay away from illnesses.

Never felt guilty for avoiding people who are sick with colds. I don't need free germs to give me a cold too when I'm pregnant.

And to be honest I also avoided when I had baby until the early toddler age. I would also ask people not to visit if they have a cold or similar. No remorse about it, my health and family's health it's more important.

Thank you everyone! It's definitely validating to read your responses, I think I will avoid them this weekend. I'll speak to my husband later.

I def agree with everyone, I’m in a similar boat to you a simple cold lands me in hospital. Totally not worth the risk and you won’t enjoy it anyway with the worry! You are doing your best for you and your baby so nobody can judge you for that!!!

Fun story: I got a cold about three weeks before my due date, which turned into a chest infection, because that's how I roll. The coughing was terrible and right on my due date I coughed so hard, I broke my waters. The rest of me wasn't quite ready to go into labour, so I had to be induced, bleh.

The moral of this story is... avoid diseased people like the plague :D

Better to be safe,i was the same. even when your baby is born u will have to do the same so your baby doesnt get ill.i keep my baby away from ill people hard this time of year.

YAabsolutelyNBU! I am sick of people being so inconsiderate with their germs at this time of year, and especially when there are vulnerable or pregnant people around. My colleagues at work are the worst, and funnily enough my in-laws as well. I am obsessed with hand sanitiser and get through loads of it. I've still managed to catch a cold which came out yesterday. I had loads of plans between now and Christmas Day, but have decided that they'll need to be cancelled as I'd hate to make anyone else ill. Luckily tomorrow we were seeing said in-laws, so DH will go by himself and make a big point of how I'm staying at home to avoid selfishly spreading my germs

Dreading having to deal with this when my twins are born - nobody will be allowed near them with so much as a sniffle, and I know some people need telling about 3 times

Can you tell that this is a pet hate of mine

Stay home, I found a cold much worse when pregnant, I was around 28 weeks a few Christmases ago and your treatment options are more limited. Definitely not unreasonable for you to steer clear so you and baby can stay healthy and rested!

I caught flu during my second pregnancy. Not being able to take sufficient medication and coughing until your pelvic floor is shot forever is horrible. Stay away.

I had a classic cold last week which totally wiped me out for two days. Not worth it, especially with your asthma. Also, it's Christmas, and you don't want to feel crap at this time of year!