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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Bad timing!!

8 replies

Jenaerys · 18/12/2019 22:34

Ok so this is a bit of a long one so bear with me.
My OH and I have been trying for our first for around 18 months. We went for tests and turns out due to surgery he had when he was young, we had a very low chance of conceiving naturally. We had been put on the waiting list for IVF, specifically ICSI and were not so patiently waiting our turn.
Well, because I was off all contraception anyway and we were told the chances were very slim, we kinda just kept doing what you do and didn't think about it.
Fast forward to last week and I started feeling quite nauseous so I did a test which came back positive! It said 3+ weeks so I'm not entirely sure my due date but we're figuring August September.
Now this is where is gets awkward. My sister is getting married in August and I'm chief bridesmaid. I've already told her and she says she's over the moon for us, but I can't help but feel incredibly guilty. Christmas is coming up and it's an emotional time for our family due to the loss of a loved one a few years ago, and she says she's just feeling a bit down. My anxiety has been off the charts the last few weeks and I'm overthinking EVERYTHING, so maybe it's other things, but I can't help worry that it's because of me.
I don't really know what I'm asking here, I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance that everything's going to be ok. I've been so excited about the wedding and being pregnant, and I feel like I can't fully be excited about either.

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R2D2abc · 18/12/2019 22:53

I never planned my pregnancies around other people even if family members.

Congratulations for your baby!
If I would be in your position I would consider myself lucky, you had slim chances to get pregnant naturally and yet you did. Didn't need to endure all the IVF process.

Try to relax and enjoy your baby, you're making your own little family now and this is exciting and more important than thinking of others too much.

Jenaerys · 19/12/2019 07:28

Thankyou, we do feel so incredibly happy that this happened naturally, and I'm so glad we don't need to go through the emotional rollercoaster of IVF.
I think I'm just a bit anxious about everything right now, and feeling like I'm putting other people out is just another thing to worry about. I'll try to chill out a bit (I think my OH would like this as well!)

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buddhababy2019 · 19/12/2019 09:31

@Jenaerys firstly congratulations!! I was in a similar boat to you - dh and I had tried for several years to conceive number 2 without any success so had given up and I'd gone on the pill (to control endometriosis) then found out I was pregnant and due the week before I was due to be my sisters chief bridesmaid. To make matters worse, I live an 8 hour drive away so obviously means I won't be able to even go to the wedding (and neither will DS or DH who also had roles in the big day). At that point she hasn't confirmed any bookings so technically she could have moved the date but she chose not to which is absolutely her choice.
My sister is happy about the baby but I will admit there's been a bit of pressure about us not going to the wedding at all, especially from my mum (even if it does arrive on time, I can't imagine driving 8 hours with post delivery discomfort and a newborn) - just having to try and ignore it and remember that the baby/health comes first.

CrotchetyQuaver · 19/12/2019 09:34

Congratulations and don't worry about anyone else other than you, your OH and your little bean. I'm sure everyone will be absolutely delighted for you especially when the odds were so against this happening naturally Thanks

TunnocksTcake · 19/12/2019 10:27

Congratulations!! I am also in a similar situation, we have just found out we are pg after a year trying total and one MMC in the summer. Absolutely over the moooon about it but it will mean we miss DHs step sister's wedding in Cyprus in August (its on 7th Aug and I would be due 25th!) A part of me kind of knew we wouldn't make it and so thankfully we haven't booked tickets but I am kind of dreading the moment when the penny drops with his family and they realise what an August due date means for the wedding... However I would not expect them to be anything but happy for us considering what we have been through and you shouldn't either. Life happens and as you say you had nooo idea this could even happen! Hopefully they can video call you or set up a live stream or something so you can watch from afar!!

Robs20 · 19/12/2019 10:30

I’m one of 2 bridesmaids at a wedding in France in May. I am pregnant with twins and due 9 days before the wedding, I also feel terrible! But as pp have said, you can’t plan these things to perfection so we just have to relax (and maybe live stream the wedding!).

TunnocksTcake · 19/12/2019 18:10

Literally just found out my sister in law is pregnant too so they won't be going either! Eek! Christmas might be a bit tense!

yellowallpaper · 19/12/2019 19:02

Everybody will be overjoyed for you so please stop worrying about others. I'm sure someone else can be the bridesmaid if you were uncomfortable doing it. Just enjoy this wonderful moment

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