Best friend is going to therapy because I'm pregnant.

[erised]

I've recently told my best friend that I am pregnant. She has a lot of issues concerning children, babies, pregnancy etc. Almost like a phobia of it all, she also suffers from PCOS and has fertility problems though she's said she never wants kids anyway. I was very scared to tell her about my pregnancy because of this. I talked to her in person today for the first time and she admitted that she had a breakdown after I told her and has been in a mentally rough place since, she's scared that she's going to lose me and that I'll become distant after baby is here or that she'll distance herself because of her issues. She's said that she's now considering going to therapy because of my pregnancy... I'm not sure how I should deal with this? I'm going to keep the baby talk to a minimum and probably only bring it up if she asks about it. What else can I do?

Sorry to say this but it sounds like the beginning of the end of your friendship with this person. I had a number of my childless friends become distant with me once I had a baby, and these people were mentally stable with no fertility/children issues. Your lives, interests and responsibilities become different and take different paths, you meet other mummy’s at groups and have more in common with them, see them frequently and these naturally become your friends. Plus, some “friends” write you off as soon as you’re pregnant because they see you as a bore/someone they can no longer get drunk or do spontaneous things with, which is a shame.

It's hard to say, but it honestly it sounds pretty manipulative of her to tell you she's getting therapy. It's fine to say something like 'I love you, but your good news is a bit bittersweet for me' to let you know to not baby-bomb her with pregnancy news. But saying she needs therapy because of your pregnancy puts too much responsibility on you for her feelings. I don't think you should say anything, but if she repeats this it might be good to establish some boundaries.

I had 4 MCs before having DS. The first pregnancy (and MC) was at the same time as a friend's pregnancy. It broke my heart to see her growing bump and then her bouncing baby, but y'know, people have babies. It would have been unhelpful and corrosive to our friendship to make her pregnancy about my feelings. Now a year later I have my DC the pain is forgotten and our friendship is still very much intact.

Wow doesn't sound like the greatest of friends to me. She should be happy for you regardless of her issues.
You shouldn't have to step on eggshells around her because of being pregnant.

Wow. Emotional Vampire?
Have a read of the infertility boards (but please don’t post), for some further insight into what your friend may be going through. While there is no need to feel guilty (which is your responsibility - she is no more responsible for your feelings than you are hers) you are the one in the position of great privilege right now.
I’ve been on both sides, having found it too hard to cope with friends’ pregnancies after my POI diagnosis. After an IVF failure in the summer, my best friend of 15 years announced her pregnancy. Despite never having said anything negative to her, she has blamed me for her guilt because I’ve not, in her opinion, been involved enough in her life or the pregnancy since, or congratulated her over the sex, fawned over her enough etc. I’ve disappointed her, she’s disappointed me and I don’t know if we’ll ever recover our friendship.
I’m currently 10+6 following IVF. Days after telling a different close friend, she had an MMC. She’d have been 6 weeks further along than me.
I’ve stopped mentioning my pregnancy in the group chat. I’ve told her privately many times she is absolutely not required to make polite comments or enquiries. We talk about all sorts but I don’t reference my pregnancy at all. If she brings it up I brush it off and change the subject. I don’t feel guilty, but I have huge empathy for her. If I want to bask in my good fortune, or share anxieties I can do it with other friends. To me, it’s such a basic response to try to lessen any pain my friend might be experiencing.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I realise you’ve posted because you care about your friend and that’s great. I hope you can both find a way to forgive each other for any hurt feelings as you navigate this challenge, and remain friends if that’s what you both want.

Thanks everyone. I am kind of expecting to eventually be pushed out of the friend group tbh. We all went out for a Christmas meal a couple of nights ago and my best friend was already leaving me out of conversations and ignored me most of the night, only talking to me when I said something and even that felt very forced...

It's good she's seeking help.
But I would ensure you do not make any promises at all.
You will be distant after the baby. You may go weeks without contacting her. You may have a baby who thinks sleep is for the weak. Don't down play how life changing this baby will be for you.