Unborn babies dad

[Ajlaisy]

I know I'm being so stupid and I'm getting upset over nothing, but my unborn child's dad didn't want the baby and we weren't together when I got pregnant he is yet to give me an answer on whether he wants to be involved or not and either way I won't every think less of him for his decision because he didn't want me to carry on with the pregnancy but I'm now 24 weeks and he very rarely messages me never asks how I am or the baby is and tonight I've had a message off the ex boyfriend to his new girlfriend (I had no clue he had one) explaining he's with her, apprantly he takes her son out who's 1 and plays with him but that isn't any of my business but why am I so upset he's with someone or that he plays with her child, I just feel very lonely and I think I must have thought that when she's here he'd be there for us both and he now clearly won't be, am I being irrational to be upset or would you say it was normal?

You poor thing. I would find it very upsetting. I'm afraid that realistically, you are going to be on your own. Do what you can to get this man to provide the money he needs to give you, but it is going to be a very big task ahead of you. Of course it is an overwhelming and serious prospect, and it is natural for you to have feelings about it. You are not stupid to have them.

Thank you I think I just needed somone to confirm I wasn't being stupid for being upset. I guess it's just something I'll have to get over, thank you for your reply!

You weren't together and he didn't want the baby. What did you expect. You've practically forced him into becoming a parent

I think all you can hope for is that by being in a relationship with someone who is a parent, he learns that he needs to step up and be more involved.

Tbh, I wouldn't hold bank on it. You're better off just getting on with it as best you can without him.

Of course you're not being stupid to be upset. You must now concentrate on doing the best for you and the baby. You sound young. Do you have family and friends to help you? Do put in a claim to child maintenance as soon as the baby arrives. Just because your ex decides he does not want to be involved that does not absolve him from his financial responsibility to his child.

My partner left me when we found out I was pregnant turns out he also had someone else he offered me money for a termination I said no that was when I was 6 weeks gone I'm now 21 weeks not heard from him since I've been to amnio heart scans everything on my own it's just made me stronger

You and the baby are better off without him.

Just make sure you register the baby on your own and give the baby your name.

You have not forced him into anything (barring some wacky sperm stealing caper! Which obviously didn’t happen.)

He got you pregnant, and everyone including him knows how that happens. His choice. Your choice to keep the baby, as is your right. Do not feel guilty, or sorry for him.

But the sad fact is, he’s gone and won’t be coming back. Of course you’ll feel bad for a while, it’s normal. But then you need to pick yourself up, make sure he pays for his child, and be a really strong female role model and advocate for your daughter.

I did fully expect this to happen but didn't realise how sad I'd feel when it did I know I'm better off with out him, and I'm actually looking forward to doing this on my own, I just think it's the unknown of whether he will be there for her or not, thanks for your replies I will get over it xx

It's ok to feel sad and disappointed I think most mums would, I certainly would too. It's hard enjoying being pregnant with your hormones raging and your daily life changing and hearing that he is playing Dad else where. I look at others & everyone seems to be perfect - it's heartbreaking at times when things at home aren't how you wanted it to be. But this is YOUR baby, this is YOUR decision and life will be perfect for you. Just stay positive about what's good in your life and don't let this beat you up.
It's hard to switch your mind off from racing and self doubt but try and go for a walk or take your mind off beating yourself up. This is going to be a lesson learnt and you never know he may want to help out when little one is here. Stay strong and positive. You got this xx

Not being irrational but it's easier if he's not involved in a lot of ways. You need to reframe his lack of interest into something positive. I left my dd6 dad, my ex husband, when she was 6 months and he's seen her twice since and not at all for the last three years. I consider myself lucky that I haven't had to split access. How will you feel if he wants contact and your child is off every other weekend with him and some woman you don't know? Sharing Christmas and all that is very painful. I would not put him on the birth certificate and hope he disappears completely if I were you. My ex husband's lack of interest has meant I've been able to move on and get remarried easily. My new husband is a very nice stepdad to my dd

This is what everyone says, he lied to me about the amount of children he has told me he had 2 when he already actually has 3 but doesn't mention the first because only seen him a handful of times and he's now 11 so I highly doubt he will make an effort so I'm just glad I don't have to have my child involved in his life that isn't what I want for her x

His life sounds like a car crash. I think its as good you can keep your child away from the chaos. I know its a lonely time for you but be strong and grow from this.