When did you tell your families?!

[Something20]

Hi! 😊 we found out on Monday that we're pregnant and so overjoyed and thrilled however we have no idea when we want to tell our families!
Two of my best friends told their families as soon as they found out with their babies which I really want to do but I'm just scared incase something goes wrong. But, at the same time if something does happen I think it would be nice to have our families support through it.
I would also LOVE to be able to tell them on Christmas Day!

I would just like to know some people experiences and opinions! ☺️

At first we weren’t going to say anything but eventually we did two days after we found out at 6 weeks. My reasoning was that it was my first pregnancy and I wanted to be able to ask my mom if I had worries or questions. Similarly if anything bad should happen I would need their support and certainly wouldn’t be able to hide my emotions. They would also have noticed my refusal of wine!!!

I told my parents the day I found out. Told DH parents the following day as we were already booked to go and see them for dinner. Apart from my manager, we didn't tell anyone else until after the 12 week scan.

After 12 week scan. I hate having to tell people if things go wrong. I have a history of miscarriages so found it too painful. I would say tho if your family are people you would lean on / want support from if it all went wrong then tell them as soon as you like

Told my mum an hour after finding out. My dad and his wife and my mothers sister were told a couple of days later. My sister who was only 17 at the time was told a couple of weeks after that, as close to the 12 week scan as possible 😂 everyone else found out after 12 week scan.

With all 3 of my Pregnancies I told my sister the day I found out because well for at least 2 of them I blamed her because she randomly told me to do a test haha and she was rite I was pregnant...
I told my mum before 12 week with my 1st and got her to tell my dad as I was being a wimp lol. With my 2nd I told them all around what I thought I was 10 weeks but turned out I was only 6 weeks.. And with this one I told them around 8/9 weeks as my dad was in and out of hospital and I was driving them about everywhere and felt like crap so had to tell them.
Everyone else after 12 weeks.

The way I see it and it sounds a little harsh but it's reality unfortunately it doesn't matter when you tell them if something is to happen (mc) then no matter when you tell people it won't stop that from happening so it's genuinally personal preference x

In my first pregnancy I told all my family members (including aunts and uncles) the day after I found out, so just over 4 weeks.

This pregnancy I’m at the 8 week mark and have only told my manager at work. I think it’s because this pregnancy was unplanned and we’re adjusting to the reality of it ourselves at the moment. I’ll probably tell everyone at Christmas time though rather than waiting till 12 weeks.

@Lovelostnfoundx we said since we started trying that we would wait until our 12 week scan but as soon as we've found out we want to tell them haha. I totally agree about the questions and support thing, both my sisters have children so I'd love to be able to ask them things :) thanks!

@Eventrider1 I think I'd love to tell them on Christmas Day cause we will be seeing everyone that we want to tell :) we won't be making it "pubic" knowledge until 12 weeks though haha

@Mintypea5 I'm so sorry to hear you've had to deal with miscarriages and so I totally understand why you would wait till 12 weeks and this is what's going through my mind as to why to wait! But like you say I think I would want my mums support if anyone's if it did go wrong :(

@selmabear I really WANT to tell everyone now haha just want to ring my mum and scream it down the phone, everyone else can wait till 12 weeks haha.

@Boymummy3 haha I really want to tell my sisters too cause they both have children :) I want their advice and opinions! My family is full of children but OHs has none so this will be the first grandchild for both his grandparents so we can't wait to tell them :)
Yeah I totally get what you mean, telling them isn't going to make anything happen or stop anything from happening and I think I would want their support through it if it did so I think we might just tell everyone on Christmas Day, seems too perfect to not☺️

@iLanny my best friend told everyone immediately with her first but she's currently 10 weeks so telling everyone at Christmas when she's 12 weeks, I'm the only one that knows! Totally personal preference and also depends on the pregnancy doesn't it! Tbh it's your pregnancy too so you tell everyone when you're ready :)

@Something20 I told my mum a few days after I found out because my friend told me to incase anything happened.

Something did happen and having to call my mum and tell her I'd lost the baby was actually worse than me losing the baby.

This time round she still doesn't know (I'm 8W4 and we're having a scan tomorrow). As long as everything's fine we'll be telling family on Christmas Day.

When I had my miscarriage I didn't really speak to my mum much about it, she didn't come with me to any appointments I took a friend. Purely because I was so worried about how upset she was I couldn't deal with it.

The exact same happened to me as it did to Ginger. It is genuinely one of the worst experiences of my life sobbing down the phone to my Mum that I had lost my baby.

Second time around (now a 13 week old baby), only DH and my colleagues knew I was pregnant before the 12 week scan. And my colleagues only found out because they heard me having a bout of morning sickness in the toilets at work. They were telling me off for coming in ill, so I told them that I wasn't ill, just pregnant. Got sent home anyway, but they were all very happy for me.

It was amazing surprising everyone with the news and having a scan photo to show off as well. If I go on to have more pregnancies, I think I'll do the same again. If the worst should happen, I know if I need the support I'll get it, and if I can cope without it, no-one bar DH and myself need know.

Hey OP

I’m 7+1 and no one knows yet. Not even my partner🤣

I have a early scan booked the 22nd which is when my partner will find out with some ‘dad to be gifts’. It’ll be an early Xmas present.

I will tell my mum, dad, brother, sister, best friend and MIL on Xmas day. As I will have a scan pic for their present.

I will tell my boss when I come back from out Xmas break on the 2nd Jan as I have my dating scan on the 8th so will need time off.

Everyone else will be told at 12 weeks.

I too want the support if anything goes wrong, my family are really supporting and I would want them around me if anything does go wrong.

Xx

Why dont you have an early scan before Christmas (private one) and tell them then? Or just tell them, I couldnt wait haha!

@GingerRH I'm really sorry you had to go through that and that you had to tell your mum. I'm extremely close with my mum and I think I'd need her there to help me if anything did happen :( really pleased for you that you're 8+4 and good luck with the scan tomorrow! ☺️

@Dyra sorry you had to go through that :( it's hard to hide something like that from your colleagues when you spend so much time with them isn't it! I did think I would love a scan photo to show them but honestly I don't think I can last, I'm really bad at keeping secrets and it would just slip out 😂

@essexanon how have you managed that?! I can't keep anything from my partner if I wanted to haha I'm hopeless he can read me like a book. Good for you for managing to keep it a secret ☺️

@Beck2277 id love to but I won't be 6 weeks till after Xmas and I don't think private scans start till 6 weeks 🙁 I'm pretty sure we're going to tell them anyway haha

@Something20 don't get me wrong my mum is literally my best friend. But it was hard enough having to get through it myself without worrying about her through it so I did it with my DH/ best friend.

Both times I've told my parents straight away, the first was because I had to goto Epu at 7 weeks and I needed someone to take me.

The second, because I have hyperemesis again and I got hospitalised at 6 weeks, so my parents had to look after DS while DH came with me to hospital.

We didn't tell PIL or anyone else in the family until I was 12 weeks. I wanted to keep second time a secret, but it's so difficult when you need help with childcare.

I’m 16 weeks and 2 days pregnant with twins and I haven’t told my family yet. I’m planning on telling them on Christmas Day. This is my second pregnancy and I have a daughter who is almost 6 months old. I’m a little scared/nervous to tell my family because my kids will be less than a year apart. I will have 3 babies under the age of 1.
When I was pregnant with Baylie didn’t tell my family until I was almost 15 weeks pregnant.

10 weeks because it was xmas.

We wouldve waited until 12 weeks but we'd had 2 early scans so felt ready to tell.

We were going to wait until 12 week scan but my SIL was coming to visit and I didn't think I'd be able to hide it from her (she's a midwife!) so we told my brother's family and my Mum at around 7 or 8 weeks. Didn't tell anyone else until about 12.5 weeks once we'd had the scan.

It was hard to hide after about ten weeks as my bump was enormous and I was already in maternity clothes!

I told my parents at 9 weeks for the first pregnancy (just after my booking appt) and asked them to keep it quiet until after the first scan (my mum found the news hard to contain, first grandchild). Second pregnancy we told them after the first scan.

@Court1994 wow I wouldn't be scared of telling the family, I'd be scared of life with three under 1 haha! My (two) will be 15 months apart and I'm already bricking it! (Better tell them early so they can plan supporting you if they're the supporting type!)

@paperplant
I am more scared about having 3 under 1 than I am about telling my family but I’m still nervous about telling my family.
I’m going to tell them on Christmas Day because I have cute outfits for the kids (my daughter and stepson) to wear to reveal my pregnancy.

We told our parents and my best friend at about 4 weeks, even if the worst happened and we lost the baby, I would have told them anyway and would have wanted the support. I ended up telling a few other friends and some work colleagues before the 12 week scan too (very small, close knit, all female team so hard to hide it from them!) Just tell who you want to tell, it's your news and if you feel comfortable to talk about it, go for it, don't let this societal norm of waiting make you feel like you have to. And congratulations!

I told my mumma at about 8 weeks because I was going to burst if I didn't tell her (we are super close) and I felt like crap and needed someone to complain to that wasn't my lovely hubby... 😂 We had a viability/reassurance scan before we told anyone though. Congratulations on your happy news!

@Something20 I know, it’s really hard, especially as I literally want to sleep 25 hours a day lol. Trying to hide it is really hard.
I keep getting urges to tell him then I just have to surprise it. It’s also hard not telling my mum as we’re so close.

i can’t wait until I can let it all out! 😊 xx