After some advice

[Watson956]

Hi All,

I have been with my partner for just under two years. About 12 weeks ago we had very drunken sex, no judgement, we had a bottle or two of wine and hadn't seen each other in 3 months. I wasn't taking any contraception at the time as my pill was causing me to have hives. Later the next day we went to the chemist and I took the morning after pill.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I am feeling fatigued, sore boobs and a bit of sickness/nausea. I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise it came back positive, I was quite shocked as I was still having monthly bleeding, albeit quite light, and just assumed it was PMS as it wasn't particularly bad. I called my partner straight away and told him, he works offshore and he was delighted to hear the news and couldn't wait to come back.

We went to the scan on Friday and everything looks good. The baby is measuring quite big but all healthy and is as it should be. My partner is ecstatic and can't wait to be a Dad. I am also excited now that I have gotten over the initial shock.

However, I am quite worried. I am only 22, I've been in my job for 4 years and I am so worried about having 12 months off and feeling like I'm starting at the bottom again. Also, my partner will have 2 weeks at home with us but after that he will have to go back to doing 8 weeks offshore and 2 weeks at home. However, he still has to work when he comes home at the local boat yard. I am worried that I am going to be spending a lot of time alone. I live over an hour away from my Mum who doesn't drive, so it's not like she can pop over if I fancy a bit of human company.

Not only that, we are in the process of doing our house up, we were aiming to be complete by June but this was with both of our incomes. Obviously not factoring in a maternity pay wage!

My mum suggested an abortion but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew that it was 100% not an option for me, I explained this to her and she agreed, she thinks that we will be wonderful parents.

I think I just need to hear a few encouraging words, perhaps someone has been in a similar situation and can put my mind at ease

If abortion is not an option to you, you have answered your own question. You want to and can do this. We did everything the 'right way': bought a house, got married and... the babies didn't come. 6 years of trying, after 2 rounds of ivf we're expecting. We are currently living in the middle of our third house renovation. I am currently looking around thinking OMG! I think it comes down to the old saying. No time is the right time. You obviously want to be a mother and it is right and normal to be scared. I have wanted this for what seems to be a lifetime and I'm already worrying about how it will impact on my career as a teacher. Building up a support network will be important- maybe yours won't be the traditional way. I have a friend whose OH is in the army. She went to NCT classes and has made lifelong friends. You are stronger than you think x

Congratulations, that's fantastic for you! I am the same... I looked around the living room today and felt sick at the amount we still have to do. We have finished the bedroom and bathroom which were the two worst rooms but we don't even have any heating at the moment, just using electric heaters.

I have friends but not many have children which is understandable as really we are still young, most have only just finished uni. I am definitely going to go to all classes and try to widen my circle.

Thank you x

We didn't have heating last winter 🥶 I feel your pain! This year we are up and running but just had lots plastered so everything is disgusting 😫Good luck!