Single and pregnant, going to 12 week scan alone

[newmummy474]

I’ve got my 12 week scan at the end of the week and I’m getting slightly apprehensive about going alone.
I’ve told baby’s dad about it but he’s not interested in coming.
Just wondering if anyone has any experiences in going through pregnancy alone and to all of the appointments?

I did, and I was married to both DC's father! It never occurred to either of us that he should accompany me to scans/ante-natal appointments. I even went to amnio appointments alone.

He came to the births though - it was just my preference and looking back I don't think there were a lot of dads in the waiting rooms at these appointments. It is going back a couple of decades though.

I think if you don't have the dad with you, it might be worth taking another trusted friend. Will you have a friend or family member as a birthing partner? I'm sure most Trusts will allow a different person to accompany you to scans etc if the dad isn't on the scene.

The scan, so far as the NHS are concerned, is an opportunity to check that the pregnanacy is progressing safely and there are no medical issues. It can sometimes be that there is bad news to be delivered, or lots of information to be taken in. In those situations, you might want moral support or another set of ears.

Best of luck.

crazymuseummumtobe I haven’t really thought about a birthing partner yet. Im finishing my last year of university and I’m still not sure if I’ll move home after or stay where I am.

That’s exactly what I’m getting worried about, probably over thinking it all 😂

Thank you for your reply!

I've been to every appointment and growth scan through out this pregnancy by myself except my 20 weeks scan where I dragged my self employed and night working husband despite him falling asleep in the ante natal waiting room. If he doesn't work he doesn't get paid. If he doesn't sleep during the day he's a danger in the work place 🤷‍♀️

I went alone. Lots of women were alone

I went alone as well. He came to the 20 week scan but that's the only appointment he has attended. Personal preference but didn't see the point of him being there unless he was desperate to join me. If you would like the support see if a friend or a member of your family can join you.

I have done all appointments alone due to DH having to look after DD. All have been fine, I don't have a friend I would feel comfortable having with me for labour so will probably be doing that without a partner too.

When I went for my scan there were more women there alone or with their mums than with their partners. You won’t look at all out of place.

My DH came to the 12 and 20 week scans but hardly came to any of the antenatal appointments and like others have said lots of women go alone so I wouldn't worry about being the only one. If you simply don't want to go alone is there a friend or relative that could go with you?

I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and on my own told father at 6 weeks he told me to get an abortion and not spoke since he wants nothing to do with her my friends have come to major appointments like 12 weeks scan and I was high risk so one friend came with me for amnio and another for heart scan I have growth scans from January but will go to them on my own I'm having a c section and will get my date at 28 weeks so my friend will book the day off to come with me for that but you will be fine we end up been alot stronger than we think

I would take someone with you if you can.

I’m married and my mum has accompanied me to 70% of apts 😂👍🏻 DH works 60+ hours on shifts (Dr).

Are you apprehensive because you don’t want to go alone, or because you think people will be judging you for not having a DP there. If it’s the first that’s fair enough but if it’s the second please please kick that thought out of your head right now. I assure you nobody cares who you rock up with or your circumstances as long as you/baby are healthy xx

@Mummylanie3 thank you for your reply! The father told me to get an abortion too, that I wasn’t ready. Is this your first baby? Your friends sound amazing, it’s great to have that support! Yes I agree we are a lot stronger than we think

@Paythosebitchesnomind269 how do you feel about labour without a partner?
I feel ok about it, I definitely think I’d be more comfortable by myself. I’ve mentioned it to 2 people and they both think I’m mad to not have a partner

@WorldsOnFire thank you for your reply! I think I was more worried about feeling out of place sitting in the waiting room by myself surrounded by couples, I know now that won’t be the case xx

I had DH at 12 week scan by chance but not at 20 weeks. His job was moved to another country and I was finishing up my last year of uni so no option but to go with just my DS who is 2. I was pretty nervous until she said everything was ok but I felt the same the first time when DH was there. Plenty of people without partners there, dont worry at all. He never came to any routine antenatal appointments either time.

For birth I will most likely be going it alone this time as we have noone for our little boy but I'm trying to come up with a different solution as I had to go to theatre afterwards first time and DH was with DS the whole time. Don't like the thought of the baby not being with one of us.

@newmummy474 no this is my 4th but my others are 18/14/8 so feel like I'm starting again lol yeah my 3 close friends have been amazing don't know what I would do without them x

@Beseen19 how did you find finish your last year of uni and being pregnant? I’m half way through my last year now and around 13 weeks.
Yes I’d be worried about that too, hopefully everything will work out for you! 😊

@Mummylanie3 this is my first as you can probably tell because I haven’t a clue😂
I live hours away from my family and friends so it’s annoying I can’t rope any of them into coming with me x