Abusive ex wants contact

[Judith196]

Hi, I've recently split up with my ex a few months back and I've been seeking help because I've been being emotionally, physically and sexually abused by him. He's put me through a lot of stress during my pregnancy. I have said I'm more than happy he comes to visit the baby when she's born at my house with me or my family there, or I would meet him in a public place where I feel safe for him to see the baby. Apparently that isn't good enough and he wants the baby to go to his house without me being there which I'm not comfortable with at all! Him and his family have been harassing and threatening me, sending intimidating and abusive messages so it isn't just him I don't tryst. There is a lot of mental issues in their house I don't feel my baby would be safe in that environment. Is there anything I could get put in place for when I have my baby to avoid the harassment and stress I'll revive from him and his family when I give birth?

Hi Judith,

I’m so sorry for your experience and you’ve done amazing leaving.

My Mum was in a situation where she had to stop my Dad seeing me without supervision. She had to see a family lawyer and go through the courts to gain full custody of me and to stipulate times for supervised visitations.

My suggestion is you get some free advice from
some charity’s such as Women’s Aid. They’ll be able to advise you what rights you have and the steps you can take to ensure that the right controls are put in place to not only protect your baby but you as well.

I would also keep a record of all the messages and the harassment you are receiving. If it continues or gets more threatening don’t be afraid to involve the police...they have liaison officers trained in dealing with these kind of situations and I would hope, help you get some rest from your bully ex and his family.

You are more than entitled to do what’s right by you and your baby.

My dear wonderful lady! Stay the hell away from this person for the sake of your unborn child, mental health and future security and over all well being! Please take it from someone who understands this situation. We are now are happy single parent family, who did it on our own from day one, and never looked back!! I wish you all the love, happiness in the world- and take all the appropriate advice that you seek.x x x

I agree-you have enough evidence to persuade any court of law to ban him from contact. I would call up Citizens Advice Bureau? They will talk you through what you need to do. If this man has treated you in such a way then I recommend no contact. Nice and simple. Also seek advice on whether you want to put him on the birth certificate or not....