I'm pregnant is my life about to end?

[Poppet626]

Hi, i found out yesterday that i'm pregnant. I have taken two tests which were both positive. This was not planned. One one side i'm happy because recently i've really wanted a baby but not yet, .me and my partner wanted to wait a few years because i really wanted to travel and just be me for abit longer and enjoy just us two as a couple for abit longer and the thing is before anyone says, you should have thought about this, i did take procautions. Yes i came of the pill about a month ago but only because it makes me feel so dreadful, i was waiting for an appointment with my doctor to discuss other options and in the meantime was using condoms. This time the condom broke so in got the morning after pill less than 24 hours later and i'm still pregnant. Everything just feels really surreal, i havent told my partner yet as im nervous to, i know he doesnt want this. Basically i had an abortion when we first got together and i just dont think i could do it again, for one i found it a horrible procedure and knowing i do want children i just dont think i could do it. I know it sounds selfish but im heartbroken that i wont be able to travel, ill be even more broke than i am and that my life is gonna change. Im so full of all these mad feelings, i cant even sleep it feels like im dreaming. I think the reason im dreading it so much is because you hear so many parents say how they have no life now that they have kids and im honestly petrified, i dont know what to do. Im sorry if i sound selfish, like i said one side of me is happy, the other is an emotionl wreck. Would you say that having a kid ended your life and your dreams?

How far along are you? Were you much later when you terminated last time?

The life you had is over but something so undeniably beautiful and fulfilling is beginning if you choose to continue with the pregnancy. The days are long and the nights are relentless but before you know it your newborn is a toddler full of personality and then a preschooler. Ideally try and have a good support network because whilst we aren't exactly global trotting, my 15 month old already had the odd over night with the GPs so we could definitely do a weekend away if we wanted to. TBH I doubt we'd spend the money on going away right now but we still have options.

You can still do the things you want to do with children, but in my experience the things you want to do end up changing.

I have three children under five, so my personal freedom is massively constrained obviously, but I still enjoy my life. It is very child-focussed but to be honest, doing things that make them happy is what makes me happy.