Not feeling excited - second trimester

[caricf]

Hi all

I'm first time pregnant so forgive me if this is totally normal and unnecessarily ranty! But I feel guilty about not feeling excited at all. Don't get me wrong, we do plan to have babies and I was excited for the first few weeks. Now I'm reaching the end of the second trimester everyone says it is a bliss and they are all so excited for me. But to be honest I'm just feeling anxious and dreading about becoming a mum - on top of that I worry about my husband's health getting worse from the lack of sleep when the baby comes. It's all just worries in my head I know, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it all I just feel like crying and not feeling my usual happy self, like the old me is gone. Has anyone felt the same and how do you cope with it?

Pregnancy hormones are a killer! You certainly go through all kinds of emotions during pregnancy because your body is just working so hard and it’s absolutely overwhelming.
I had a good talk to friends and family around me, do you have a good group of people around you who you could chat with?
Also when I saw my midwife I’d have a little chat with her from time to time.
I’m almost about to pop at 39 weeks and I’ve felt happiness/sadness/guilt all rather extremely.
I felt the most guilty that I don’t feel that close bond with my unborn child - however it’s all new and it’s a massive massive thing becoming a mum so you’re not on your own just breathe and remember what an amazing gift you’ll have at the end. Unconditional love x

Thank you Lulufluff. Sometimes I feel I'm the only one feeling this way, none of my close friends are pregnant at the moment but they do listen, I just feel guilty about it tho. Like you I don't think I'm bonding with the unborn baby sometimes, but I'm sure when it pops out I will feel differently. Worries are worst and it's something I need to work on.

I didn't feel excited the whole time I was pregnant. Not once, I had an idea of some things I was/am looking forward to when he arrived but I wasn't excited. He's 2 weeks old now and I don't feel like I love him any less than mums who were more excited during pregnancy. I think reading too many threads on here about the realities of having a newborn took some of the joy out of my pregnancy as I was so worried about how hard it was going to be. Don't get me wrong it is hard but it's not all terrible.

I felt excited for about 3 minutes a week after BFP! It is hard with a newborn but after the first few months when they start giggling and (hopefully) sleeping through most nights it’s all worth it and you can then be excited! There’s no wrong or right time to feel excited
I found others were way more excited than me when I was pg! Growing and birthing a baby is a major stress on the body and mind, I found the whole process more anxiety inducing than exciting tbh x

Yes that's how I feel as well. Everyone else is so excited for us but I feel like it's more anxiety inducing. And then you read about how worrying and anxiety affects the baby - so I'm trying not to worry about worrying. But very reassuringly that others are feeling the same too

I think it's quite normal to feel abit blah during pregnancy. You can't really comprehend whats coming and it doesn't feel "real". I remember being 9months pregnant around my due date with first dc with no signs of labour happening and I started to think I am really even pregnant (silly I know) . Luckily in labour you release lots of hormones which overwhelm you with love meeting your baby. I had it with my first child. With my second I had a planned c section and I felt more like I was meeting a stranger when I was holding my brand new baby but after a couple of days the love rush started kicking in.

@caricf I wouldn't worry about anxiety affecting baby, I was anxious pretty much from beginning to end, DH lost 2 jobs and spend weeks unemployed. I struggled to do the most basic of tasks because of SPD and was just generally a mess. So far DS is pretty chilled.

Thank you all for your encouragement!