First Pregnancy Worries

[maryalice14]

Hi everyone, my first ever post as you can probably tell.
I’ve just found out I’m nearly 4 weeks pregnant after trying for over a year. However instead of feeling the joy I thought I would I’m absolutely crippled with anxiety. I’m terrified I won’t make it to the “safe” 12 week stage and yet I know all this worrying won’t help.
Whenever I have worries or anxious times I always turn to my friends/family however this is the one thing you’re meant to keep secret for 3 months.
Feeling very lonely x

@maryalice14 congratulations! It can feel really overwhelming, even if it's something you've wanted and tried for for over a year. It's also natural to feel anxious as you have little control over whether it sticks. But you can tell people. With my first (mc at 8 weeks) I had told some family and close friends and having their support and understanding during a rough time was really helpful. It's obviously up to you, but the people you'd want to support you would be there if anything did happen. Be kind to yourself

Hi OP,

There is no hard and fast rule about keeping your pregnancy secret until you are 12 weeks. I had fully intended not to tell anyone until I was past the first trimester but I was so ill with morning sickness at 7 weeks that I told my mum. I was very anxious about the viability of the pregnancy and didn't want to get anyone's hopes up 'just incase' but I've found that having my mums support (along with DHs) has really helped me. Being able to talk about your worries makes it so much easier to deal with.

If the worst (god forbid) were to happen, would you tell your nearest and dearest at that point? If so, no need to wait to tell them now in my opinion. Let them share your current joy and be there to support you when you need it.

I'm 12+1 (had my dating scan yesterday) and haven't told anyone else yet. Even just telling one other person makes a difference x

And huge congratulations by the way! X

I told close family and very close friends before 12 weeks because I would tell them and have support from them if anything did go wrong. Do what is helpful for you.

I told family at 5 weeks, there's no way I could have kept it a secret! It's up to you but personally I like including them in this journey, even if if it goes wrong I know I have their support.

@CoffeeAndCarbs I'm also 12+1! I have my scan on Monday, did your due date change at all? Mine's currently at 16th June :)

Thanks everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever obsessively thought about something this much before. Navigating through the festive season is going to be tough without a few close people knowing so think I’m going to have to tell at some point. I’ve read that the risk drops at 6 weeks so might wait until then. X

All I can suggest is that you take each day at a time, I like you am a worrier but it's a "what will be, will be" situation and I try not to let it cloud my thoughts. Try to relax, easier said than done but I take each week as a milestone passed :) x

@Hodge85 Congratulations! I thought I was 11+5 yesterday but they put me forward to 12+0 so my EDD is 16th June now too ❤️

I had an early scan at what I thought was 7+1 from ovulation (I was tracking with OPKs) and they dated me at 8 weeks. 2 weeks and 1 day later I had another scan (for reassurance) and I expected to be 10+1 but I was dated at 10weeks exactly. It's changed at every scan but the sonographer yesterday said that this is the best time to get the most accurate date.

Will this be your first scan in your pregnancy? It's amazing to see the wee arms and legs wriggling around. My diva had the back of their hand on their forehead... Drama queen 🤣 x

Hiya, I found it easier to tell close friends and family in a "let's not get too excited but just want you to know" way, very early on. My mum had several miscarriages and they knew to keep calm about it. For me I felt less anxious once I'd told people. I also ended up having an early scan (on nhs due to pain), but it was reassuring to see a heartbeat because that means the risk of miscarriage is lower. If you have the money possibly consider an early scan? I found it useful to read statistics about miscarriage rates etc and to remind myself it was much liklier to be okay. If you're Google "lies, dammed lies and miscarriage statistics" it takes you to a good website. I also decided to say to myself that even if something went wrong later on, I still cared about this tiny fetus/embryo and it was better to try and appreciate it and acknowledge it. For all I knew, I might never get pregnant again and I didn't want to not appreciate that I was fortunate in this moment to be pregnant and be having this experience. I tried to only focus on getting to the weekend each week. A friend of mine took a different approach and decided to see it has having a medical condition for the first few weeks, like "I have a cold" (or "i'm pregnant) and not to think of it as a baby and she preferred that. Finally, I would just say that my experience is you become less obsessed over time, you just can't keep it up and the rest of life gets in the way, so hopefully it'll get easier over a few weeks.

@Keha thank you I definitely do feel super anxious and think maybe my Mum knowing will help. So far apart from my husband only one of my friends knows (she works in the early pregnancy dept at a hospital so would find out if I wanted her to know or not 🙈).
We were due to see a fertility specialist in Jan so I think I’m struggling to come to terms that this is real. Convinced the tests could be wrong and might order some more for the weekend! X

Hi, I’m 9 +5 weeks and started to bleed heavy. In fact since implementation I have been bleeding from v light spotting to just a couple of days of heavy. I haven’t had an us, just waiting for my appointment. Trying not to worry as every pregnancy is different. But has anyone experienced the same?