Anxious FTM

[Rosiecheeks654]

Hi

I'm posting for a bit of support really. I'm having a tough time with my anxiety and all the worries and thoughts spinning around at the minute.

I am 25 weeks pregnant and I just don't feel over the moon excited about becoming a mum. If I'm honest, I am s**t scared. I have friends around me who are pregnant and similar weeks who are over the moon and excited.

I am so afraid I will resent motherhood and regret being a mum. All I'm being told is negative stuff "you'll never sleep again, your house will never be tidy, you will never be you, it is really hard work, it is relentless"

I am totally aware that life is hard and everything is not easy. My house is never perfectly clean as I work full time hours and do have other ideas once I get home from work.

I also appreciate that it's not all rainbows and unicorns neither and babies don't always sleep. But it just seems that everyone just throws all negative stuff at you when you announce pregnancy.

Is it seriously that bad?

It's really not bad!! Of course you will be tired and things change and there becomes a new normal. But there is also this wonderful little thing that you will love and bring out feelings you didn't know existed. You will also be enamoured by every little thing they do and then there will be times you will be driven crazy with irritation, worry, annoyance. But the good is absolutely worth the "bad". Nothing good ever came for free!! Try to ignore the negatives and look forward to the positives

Everyone's experience will be different, so there's no way anyone can tell you if it will be that bad for you. For me personally, it was "that" bad and probably more besides, but it's also been amazing in equal measure. The sleep deprivation has been the worst part and I could never have prepared myself for quite how difficult that would be, but DS surprises me every single day and I'd never be without him now

Also a FTM (expectant, 38wks), so nothing useful to say in terms of experience as a parent.

However, in my experience nutting is ever as bad or terrible as you think it will be. Your feelings are I think quite normal. I've gone through them myself on and off during pregnancy.

Bugger what other people say, i have no idea why people tell you this. You wonder why they ever had children themselves!

If Parenthood was so shit, no one would do it.. multiple times.

You'll be fine.

People find me the negative stuff too, but then they say it's wonderful and he much they love their children. They say how proud they are and talk about them all the time.

It can and will be hard in not going to sugar coat it.. The find the first weeks just fly by and you will easily get into a routine. Every baby is different so who knows how your baby will sleep etc but you will be able to do it. Have faith in yourself you adapt to motherhood asif you have never known anything different x

When I was pregnant I had various people telling me how crap it would be, it was very annoying and unhelpful! It was like they just couldn't be happy for me and had to twist everything into a negative. One thing that stood out for me was when i was asked if I'm enjoying pregnancy. When I said I was I was met with "ooh you know what they say, easy pregnancy, difficult baby!" and everyone can get away with saying whatever as it's always 'a joke'

I absolutely adore my one year old ds and I love being his mummy more than I've ever loved anything.

Try to switch off from / ignore the negativity if you can. Easier said than done I know. Good luck and don't be afraid to be excited and happy.

Thank you all for your words.

I think the issue with me is that I do over think stuff. Unfortunately it's the unknown I am really uncomfortable with.

I know I cannot control anything and need to go with it but sometimes I just want to hear at least 1 positive remark, rather than all doom and gloom.

Me and hubby have both said the same about those who go on to have more. Can't be all hell on earth if they have more children