Previous abuse and contact for baby

[Judith196]

I'm pregnant and split up with the baby's dad a few months ago. After seeing the domestic abuse worker which my midwife had referred me to, she explained that I've been emotionally, physically and sexually abused by the baby's dad! He is an excessive drinker and takes drugs. His family have so threatened me during my pregnancy. He lives with his mum who is severely depressed and controlling. He has been demanding when baby is born that he sees my son at his house, takes him out alone, has him for half the week etc. I am no way prepared to let this happen as I wouldn't trust him or his family alone with my baby! I have said he could see him when I'm there at my home or I meet him out in public with the baby ... but that's not what he wants! He has also been threatening to take me to court. I am petrified of him and his family after the threats so there is no way I'd feel comfortable being in his house or my baby being there!

Does anyone know what an appropriate level of contact is giving my circumstances, or what a court would grant him if it was to go that far?

I'm not sure but wanted to bump. Loads of experienced people will help you. Hugs.

Op, do keep your domestic abuse worker in the loop about this. Your abusive ex has no absolute right to do what he plans and his behaviour at the moment is threatening to you and your well being. The family court - if it comes to that - will almost certainly commission an investigation by CAFCASS which is the court appointed social work service. If it is found your ex would not be capable of safe or appropriate care then it’s highly unlikely he would have unsupervised contact. You may be entitled to some legal aid because of the abuse. Keep in touch with the worker and keep yourself safe.

Are you planning to breastfeed? And put him on the birth certificate.

Personally I would make sure it's noted about drink2drugs my ex started taking drugs when we split up and I had concerns however wanted him to maintain a bond with the kids just in a safe environment, at first we worked it between ourselves and he went to my mums until he one day stayerwd arguing with my mum about our relationship so this made my m understandably not want the job no more! I then took him to court for excess however brought it to their attention about the drugs he had to grow his hair for three months for a full drugs/alcohol test which came back i was correct! He then had supervised contact at a family court arranged place he attended once then decided he didn't want to anymore so there we go but I have him every chance to maintain a bond , the courts etc would be with you and support you however they just be made aware x

Report the abuse to the police. Don't put him on the birth certificate and breastfeed if you can. They may give him contact eventually but there are things you can do to delay it.