Anxiety is ruining my pregnancy, please someone help

[lostandconfused2]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant and every day I am terrified of losing my baby boy. I have always had bad anxiety, mainly health anxiety because I had a very traumatic medical experience in 2015 which resulted in the removal of my large intestine and I was told I wouldn't conceive naturally.

I've reached 19 weeks today but I can't stop panicking. I've read loads of stories about miscarriages/stillbirths at this time and even though I know the chances are low you never know.

I've had private scans every two weeks of my pregnancy because I can't stop panicking. Every time I prepare myself for bad news and have a bad feeling but then it's a relief when I see him on the screen doing okay. But I am just so petrified of losing him.

I've never had good luck with my health, I've always been really unlucky and poorly and I just don't know how my body is going to give me a healthy pregnancy.

What do I do? 21 weeks to go (If I make it that far, I'll likely have a C-section) and I can't live like this.

My only relief is that baby is measuring a day ahead so at least I know he's growing okay and he's very active in the scans.

Ugh I hate this.

Have you spoken to anyone professional? I was referred for cbt therapy and by the end of the course, I was able to keep my anxiety at bay so much better. You have to do the homework which can be difficult emotionally and from a time point of view but it can really help. Perhaps try something like that?

The scans aren't helping - they are a temporary thing for in that moment - you need to get to the root cause rather than the symptom of the anxiety, so talking through options available with a GP or midwife would be useful.

Does your work, if you work, have an employee assistance service or occupational health team? Perhaps approach your employer too for this kind of support.

Definitely speak to your midwife about mental health support.

It does help when you start feeling movements so know they’re ok and wriggling about in there.

Hi, I can't really give any advice just empathy. I have terrible health and a number of conditions that make this pregnancy high risk. I worry constantly about the baby and if something I am doing might hurt it!

I've found mindfulness has helped me and there are loads of useful videos on YouTube.

One of my friends pointed out that I have had such bad luck with health, probability is on my side that nothing else could possibly go wrong. Not sure how accurate this is, but it made me feel better! Remember you got pregnant and are 19 weeks along so your health hasn't been an issue so far.

Good luck and try to be kind to yourself and see if there is any help available to you as the PP said.

I had 8 chemicals month on month last year and said no more trying, that was it. Fell pregnant by accident after one slip up and i was terrified. I told work at 5 weeks because i expect to loose again, didnt announce it at 12 weeks, wouldnt buy anything and really struggled to bond and accept pregnancy. I got better once i hit 24 weeks and 35weeks tomorrow, im still a bit panicky about having a still birth but it does ease off

I suffered from horrible anxiety during my pregnancy. If you speak to your midwife you should be able to see a psychiatrist for possible medication and counselling etc. The scans really don’t help, and I’m afraid googling doesn’t either. Anxiety is all about wanting certainty so you seek reassurance but as soon as you get it, you doubt it and want more certainty. The more you feed it with scans and googling the worse it gets. It’s so so difficult, I know. But it gets better.

I can't add much more to what pp have said but I will say... Stop reading about misscarriage//stillbirth in fact just don't Google anything. Even ladies without anxiety end up looseing their minds with worry because of reading stuff online. Everytime you look something up its going to bring up the worse case scenarios which isn't going to help you. Please seek help from midwife//GP xx