High risk and 37 weeks pregnant. Partner out drinking.

[hopefully2019]

Hi guys!

I'm in a situation here I would like some opinions on.
I'm 37 weeks pregnant today, high risk- choleastatis, gestation diabetes, blood clotting disorder, the list goes on...
I am having sweep on Tuesday.

My best friend is trying to glue into my head that it's wrong my partner is out drinking as I post this.
She doesn't let her boyfriend out with his friends due to trust issues so I'm assuming she doesn't understand how I'm being fair in letting my partner out

But, is she possibly right? He's currently in the pub and won't be back until 2/3am..he will get drunk and he doesn't usually check his phone
I'm over thinking this and im starting to think myself that he shouldn't be out while I'm 37 weeks and high risk despite me not getting started off until Tuesday. There's not a massive chance I'll go tonight but a part of me thinks he should be home supporting me and staying sober incase something went wrong?

Opinions please :) xx

He probably should have IMHO but if you genuinely weren't concerned before your friend started bending your ear and he thought it was fine to go out and you'd be OK, you can't really blame him.

At the same time, there's nothing wrong with saying to him in the morning 'it freaked me out a bit when you went out last night and I'd prefer it if you'd stay with me from now on incase something happens'

A negative reaction from him would be out of order

My partner had a last hurrah before I had our daughter. It didn't bother me. I was just large and knackered and a bit 'meh' about the whole thing. He isn't a massive arsehole and hadn't been out getting pissed the entire pregnancy.

I'm a little further along than you and DP went out last night and has his DC on my induction date so if I go to hospital that day he won't be with me until later. I understand why you may feel a bit conflicted about him out drinking but I personally wouldn't worry about it unless you started to feel twinges or unwell. I'd be glad of the peace for the evening. But everyone is different. Just explain to him how you felt this morning.

I wouldn't nag him tbh as pp said if there were concerns it's not fair to raise it after but maybe point out you're not comfortable him doing it again until after baby is born

My partner and I have agreed he won't be drinking once I'm 37 weeks.
I need him to be 100% on top form when I go into labour and he can't do that either half cut or hanging.
He's in total agreement too.

I've had to go 9 month without drinking, he can do a few weeks!

I am 38 weeks pregnant and in a couple of weeks I will ask DH not to have a drink in the evening (he likes to end the day with a cider some days but might be more at weekend)
But my first was very late.
In your case you need to think what and when and tell him.
But not because your friend says so, she seems to be stirring things up a bit

I agree with pp that maybe your friend has put this in your head about it being a problem and you probally didn't think twice about it before she stuck her 2pence in.
On the other hand I would of personally said to DH Keep your phone on loud make sure you answer it if I need you and I would Prefer you didn't come home at 2/3 in the morning just incase. But it's done now and i persume he won't be off out again before Tuesday?
Good luck for your induction also xx

If I were you, I’d ask that last night is the last night he goes out drinking. You could go at any time and you’d also need help if you suddenly feel ill. I’m sure he’d never forgive himself if you had to call an ambulance and be looked after in hospital while he was out on the lash and too drunk to help you.

I think it’s quite a personal thing.. if he goes out once a week regularly & that’s how life is & you are happy with it, there’s nothing particularly wrong. However, if he’s out all the time & putting his social life first, I personally wouldn’t like it. And I’d be worried he’d be out drinking while I was at home looking after a newborn. Not acceptable in my opinion.

Maybe ask him to not drink from your sweep next week? How would both of you feel if you went in labour & he was really drunk?! And worth thinking what if you suddenly become poorly & need him..

Having been in your position with an ex 10 years ago and being pregnant and him going AWOL on the drink and not checkibg/answering his phone and now being in a relationshio and being pregnant, I think it comes down to trust.

If you trust your bloke (like I do now) then I'd have no problem with him going out like this and staying out late although he absolutely would be answering his phone. If you don't trust your fella, like I clearly didn't, and was right about, then I think it's prob a bad idea. If you don't trust him, how can you expect him to be there when you go into labour if he's been out and not answering his phone.

Neither he nor you is the other persons property so you don't get to "allow them out"

A mature and sensible approach would be to ensure that you have the other person at the forefront of your mind when making any decisions. So in your instance, your OH should absolutely consider that he may need to get you to hospital and should be in a position either to drive OR coherent enough to be taken in a taxi imo

Your friend sounds like a nightmare

If he’s meant to be driving you to hospital then he should be staying sober. If not then I would say it’s fine for him to go out for a drink or two but he shouldn’t be getting paralytic just in case.