Help I’m 19!

[lemonjuice19]

Hello mums!
So I don’t have a very good relationship with my mum, so I’m hoping I can get some mum advice from here!
I’m 19, studying full time, and I don’t have much money. I have been with my partner for almost six months (we’ve known each other for a long time). We live together in his flat and I’ve got this really strong feeling I’m pregnant.
I took a test even though it’s only been a week since contraception and it came back positive. But I took more and they were negative. I’m confused and terrified to be honest. I really just want to know but I know I can’t be certain for another 2 weeks until my period.
If I am my boyfriend would be over the moon and as would his family as they’ve all had kids quite young. But my family would kill me .
If I am, I do want the baby but I don’t have a lot of support and I’m worried if my partner is working all the time I’ll go mental with a baby 24 hours a day. I’m mostly scared of the judgement I’d get from strangers and people my age. How do I stop all this worrying? And what should I do?

Personally I would wait to start a family until it's a positive choice rather than a situation you've fallen into. And you are in a stable relationship and financial position. Statistically it's a lot less likely you'd get back into education after putting it on hold.

If you only just came off contraception and have had one positive test and multiple negative one, it's very probable you aren't pregnant and the first test was just an error. Normally it would take at least 2 weeks to ovulate after coming off hormonal contraception and 1-2 weeks beyond that to get a positive. Withdrawing from hormonal contraception also disorders your hormones and often creates pregnancy "symptoms" that are just raised progesterone.

Wait a week and test again. Use condoms in the meantime and if the tests stay negative, get another reliable form of contraception in place.

You don’t even know if you are pregnant yet, so hang fire on the panic until you know either way.

When is your period due?

What contraception are/were you using?

Don't worry about the judgement side of things, after the initial shock most people will either be happy for you (if you're happy about the baby that is!) or they will lose interest (I'm meaning strangers etc).

So judgment isn't a big deal!
My parents were horrified when I was pregnant at 18 and within a month or two were extremely excited about it. My dad who isn't an openly soft person had had a couple of pints with his friends and came home and said "being pregnant is the best thing that's ever happened to you because I've never seen you so happy"

I'm not saying you're guaranteed the same reaction, but I'm just saying it wasn't the end of world everyone initially reacted like it was.

He's now 6 and the centre of our whole family.

The reality side of this for myself is my life isn't how I want it at all, BUT the one and only thing in my life I'm happy about is my son.

Yes life would be a lot easier if I hadn't had him and maybe I wouldn't have some of my other problems but I wouldn't want that for a second

I had my first child at 19. It’s quite a good time to have children if you can afford them. Much easier to get them done while at university. But I wouldn’t have a child if you can’t afford it. I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself if my children missed out because I could afford to pay for things.

Well you can't really make any decisions until you know that you are pregnant so that is 2 weeks away.

Until then, relax, focus on other things like your study and also perhaps look into your finances so that you know, if you are pregnant, where you stand financially.

If, and it is a big if at this point, you are pregnant, you can get lots of support at college to help you stay on - with childcare and extra support.
A family member was 20 when this happened and she completed her degree and Masters, a friend completed hers, but she was in her final year and the baby arrived just before her finals so she took them later.

So how many more years have you in your course? If you are in your final year you will be able to complete before the baby arrives so that would be great, (if you are even pregnant). If not, you may have to defer or you could probably complete it if your boyfriend and his family and your college were all there to back you up.

I would wait and come back on here when you actually know so we can give more concrete advice.

Thank you guys this really helped me a lot. I’m going to wait until I know before I panic. Meanwhile I’m going to look at my finances and start saving. I’m on the pill but I just have such a strong feeling? I’ll wait though and focus on college, and if I am I know I’ll make the right decision. I have 7 months left of college before I can have a break if I had a baby and then go to uni to get my degree. Everything happens for a reason, I’m just prone to panicking! 💜

If you aren't due your period for another two weeks, you would only be conceiving now and you certainly wouldn't get a positive test at this point. Was your last period normal?