Jobs for the *big brother*

[zaffa]

Hi all! Hoping for some help. I'm due my first DC in a couple of weeks and I have a DSS who is with us 50/50 (every other week). He is super excited about the baby. He's 11 now, but he has some emotional challenges and can be emotionally much younger at times, especially when unsettled. So whilst in many ways he is 11, if he struggles with a situation he will regress to a three or four year old, thumb sucking and insecure.

We want him to feel completely included with the baby, and so far he does stuff like reading to the bump and talking / singing, as well as boys night with his dad every week he's with us so he doesn't miss out on one on one time either.

He has spoken a lot about how he will be taking care of the baby when she arrives, and herein lies my problem! I want him to be involved, but am mindful that he is also a child and an emotionally young child at that, and so don't feel comfortable with him picking up a newborn, washing and changing nappies etc without a great deal of supervision. I also don't want him to think we don't trust him to do that sort of thing, so I'm trying to come up with big brother jobs like reading stories, playing peekaboo, maybe holding the bottle with his dad if she's bottle fed - but I'm running out of ideas.

Does anyone have anything similar they've done when a new sibling arrives?

Yes my youngest SD sounds similar to your SS, trust me when they cry they want to give the baby back! But I did have to watch her like a hawk, if I left baby alone even for a few seconds she'd sneak in and pick her up - only trying to be helpful but quite nerve racking with a new born.
she occasionally did something worrying like try and poke her in the eye - I'm not sure why she does love her little sister but I guess there's come conflicting emotions.
I just had to carry DD everywhere with me, even taking the bouncer into the bathroom. It doesn't last long tho, once they are about 6mo and can sit up they are much less delicate and I worried a lot less.
She does pick the baby up an awful lot and you have to keep reminding her not to pull on her arms but hold her under her armpits.
Helping bath the baby is a good job, pushing the pram etc. I also get her to help in other ways by cooking dinner and she's quite proud of herself like she's been upgraded to 'grown up' jobs and takes real pride if she knows she's being helpful.

But really there's no alternative other than nearly constant supervision and endless patience!1