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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Smoking - opinions

72 replies

teenmom2be · 19/11/2019 22:06

Hi,

I was a smoker before my pregnancy, have managed to abstain so far but as any smoker will know it's not always easy.

I'm not saying I'm thinking of having a cigarette but I would appreciate some people's opinions/experiences please?

No judgement!

OP posts:

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user1480880826 · 20/11/2019 08:32

Don’t do it. And don’t let your child anywhere near anyone who has smoked once they are born. The smell of smoke on your clothes is enough to make a baby/child very ill.

You need to see this as quitting for good, not just quitting while you are pregnant.

Crackerofdoom · 20/11/2019 08:34

Well done so far OP! It is not easy at all.

Speak to your GP and get as much support as there is available. Do you have friends in RL who have given up and who can support you?

Think about what circumstances make you want one more - how can you avoid those situations or what else could you do to help in those circumstances?

DH had a lot of success with the Alan Carr book after years of trying to give up unsuccessfully.

Good luck!

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 09:21

The smell of smoke on your clothes is enough to make a baby/child very ill.

Is that really the case? I don’t smoke but have several friends who do, so would like to be prepared.

If it is true, there must have been a lot of sick children in the old days when so many more people smoked...

WhoKnewBeefStew · 20/11/2019 09:23

I smoked, but reduced it down to two a day. One in the morning and one in the evening. I spoke to my midwife and she said that the stress of giving up those two would outweigh the effects of two cigarettes a day. This was a few years ago now tho.

pooopypants · 20/11/2019 10:54

I physically couldn't stomach a cigarette when I was pregnant, it made me retch. The smell on other people would make me physically gag too.

Having one is just not worth it, it'll likely either make you want another and then another, or make you throw up.

How far along are you?

And I personally consider the "the stress of stopping smoking outweighs the risk to your baby" to be a load of bollocks, a line rolled out by so called professionals to placate you about smoking in pregnancy.

Your baby isn't craving a cigarette, you are. Your responsibility right now is growing a baby, not pumping your placenta full of nicotine and reducing its ability to function correctly.

A 'friend' of mine smoked throughout her pregnancy and then in the house. To the point where the birth announcement photo shows an ashtray on the sofa end in the background.

She now regularly posts on SM things like 'DD coughed so much last night, she was sick in her bed, I feel so bad for her, I can't do anything to help'.

It's hard, yes. But worth it. Nothing that is worth it is easy.

pooopypants · 20/11/2019 11:06

Where did my paragraphs go!?!?

Alderaan · 20/11/2019 11:28

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I was a regular smoker before I found out - I gave up cold turkey about a week before I found out because I had a chest infection.

I was nineteen when I got pregnant with my daughter (now fourteen) and although I gave up initially during the pregnancy, by the end I was smoking from time to time and I'm ashamed to say that I had a cigarette during labour. She turned out perfectly healthy.

I haven't smoked at all during this pregnancy but this baby has bowel and kidney issues. It feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth, to be honest. I am not saying for a second, by the way, that my baby is ill due to a lack 9f cigarette smoke!

I'm not advocating smoking during pregnancy, and if I thought it wasn't dangerous I'd have smoked during this one (I'm still desperately craving even after so long) but let's face it - mothers who were pregnant in the eighties and before smoked and drank throughout pregnancy and we don't have generations of deformed people on our hands.

Also, I work on a respiratory ward in a hospital and I see daily the dreadful impact that long term smoking has on people - it really 8ajt pretty.

Smoking during pregnancy is not a good idea - I just wanted to offer you a few words that aren't judgemental.

Besidesthepoint · 20/11/2019 12:22

If it is true, there must have been a lot of sick children in the old days when so many more people smoked...

How about dead? SIDS was more prevalent back then.

Cannyhandleit · 20/11/2019 12:37

@LittleDoveLove no I smell it in my house when I'm home alone, definitely imagining/dreaming about it! I think if I actually had a puff it'd knock me sick but the temptation is always there!

carolina21 · 20/11/2019 12:44

Having a cigarette makes the baby heart beat twice as fast poor thing please don't do it

PepsiLola · 20/11/2019 12:55

I would just have visuals of what I inhale going into a tiny baby. I really couldn't, not when their lungs are trying to grow.

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 13:10

How about dead? SIDS was more prevalent back then.

Dead from being held by a person with the smell of cigarette smoke on their clothes - really? As I say, a couple of my friends smoke so I’m worried now, but this does sound very alarmist.

Besidesthepoint · 20/11/2019 13:17

*How about dead? SIDS was more prevalent back then.

Dead from being held by a person with the smell of cigarette smoke on their clothes - really? As I say, a couple of my friends smoke so I’m worried now, but this does sound very alarmist.*

People used to smoke in the house, a lot of people still do. Not everyone goes outside so that does make a difference.

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 13:37

People used to smoke in the house, a lot of people still do. Not everyone goes outside so that does make a difference.

Of course, but the PP was saying that even just the smell of cigarette smoke on clothes can make a baby/child very ill.

Obviously I wouldn't allow my friends to smoke around my child (they wouldn't anyway to be fair!) but if they happened to have the faint smell of cigarettes on their clothes, I wouldn't have thought that would be an issue.

purpleboy · 20/11/2019 13:41

Wondering, it's called third hand smoke. It's leftover chemicals and nicotine which can cause problems with ear infections and respiratory issues.

PotteringAlong · 20/11/2019 14:07

Third hand smoke is an issue!

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 14:10

I didn’t realise that. So friends who smoke won’t be able to touch or hold my baby at all then?

yukka · 20/11/2019 14:18

Newborns shouldn't be near smokers at all, secondary smoke and chemicals that is breathed out (from the lungs not whilst smoking) is harmful when the baby then breathes it in. This is why they don't recommend cosleeping if one parent is a smoker. It's a proven cause of Sids.

I've learnt so much since becoming a new mum, how fragile their little bodies are and how undeveloped they actually are when born.

Pinkblueberry · 20/11/2019 14:18

I think it must be really hard to stop smoking when pregnant. I saw a very heavily pregnant walking along with a friend with a pram and toddler happily smoking away - I definitely judged her, not so much for the smoking itself but the way she strolled along not giving a shit. I couldn’t help but think she should at least feel a bit ashamed and do it at home secretly! It’s tough I’m sure, and women should have support and be able to speak openly with midwives about it, but it shouldn’t be seen as acceptable. I’ve never seen anyone else do that though, maybe that’s why I found it a bit shocking.

PotteringAlong · 20/11/2019 14:30

I didn’t realise that. So friends who smoke won’t be able to touch or hold my baby at all then?

As long as they’ve had a shower and changed their clothes between having a cigarette and holding your baby then you should be fine. You need to decide where your line in the sand is about how far you want to push that.

wondering7777 · 20/11/2019 15:01

As long as they’ve had a shower and changed their clothes between having a cigarette and holding your baby then you should be fine.

Wow - I'd assumed that if they'd had a cigarette several hours before, washed their hands but had a faint smell of smoke on their clothes that it wouldn't be an issue. You learn something new on this board every day!

Newborns shouldn't be near smokers at all, secondary smoke and chemicals that is breathed out (from the lungs not whilst smoking)

Sounds like my baby won't be able to meet my friends who are smokers at all then - not until they're a lot older!

BigShock45 · 20/11/2019 15:03

Hi teenmom2b,
I really feel for you as you were brave enough to voice a fear and yet not all these responses have been supportive. Perhaps it takes one to know one, so I hope this helps...
When I had my first, back in the 90s, it was frowned upon, but not as big an issue as it is now. I was 18 so I don’t think people expected much from me back then! I cut back, but my baby was born under scary circumstances, early, and small. Thankfully all was well but I will never forget the fear and guilt that it may have all been okay if I’d stopped completely.
It is easy to give you scare stories, but such is the power of addiction that good sense can be blurred.
I applaud you for stopping. That’s an incredible thing. Some people have suggested good distraction strategies which might help, and you can download apps to help too. What worked for me was what every smoker is good at - lies. Convincing yourself it’s not forever. So, you can tell yourself that you’ll hold off until the baby is born, then that you’ll just stay off them until you’ve finished breast feeding, and keep it up until you no longer need an excuse.
Thinking of you, and good luck xx

Lifeinthedeep · 20/11/2019 16:56

I was a smoker too. I stopped quickly after I found out I was pregnant. You can do it. You care more abour your unborn baby than a cancer stick.

You have to be hard on yourself sometimes. It’s completely unacceptable and you know it. That’s the only way I stopped.

LH1987 · 20/11/2019 19:08

Well done giving up so far. I’m not a smoker but I think it would help me to quit To work out over the course of a year how much you would spend on cigarettes and save that for something nice like a trip away.

Good luck!

Original poster

teenmom2be · 20/11/2019 19:19

Hi @BigShock45 , thanks for your supportive comments. Some people can't seem to fathom that I asked out of interest as my curiosity was brought about after a conversation with my mum who smoked when she was pregnant with me.

I am also 18 so it's nice to know someone else knows how I feel. I think there's a lot of mixed messages on this topic. I wouldn't smoke or drink when I'm pregnant just because personally it doesn't seem worth it anyway.

Also - for anyone who has brought it up , the "no judgement" comment was actually no judgement from me in regards to people's experiences and responses if they themselves had/have or are thinking about it.

People can be so negative :)

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