Worried about NCT

[pregnantncnc]

NHS antenatal classes aren't currently running in our area, so we only had the choice between NCT and Daisy. We chose NCT because the timings worked better for us (and DH felt he'd get more "knowledge"). When I told my mum, her eyes widened and she said it was a very middle class 'club'. Since then, I've been dreading it and the first session is tonight.

For reference, I'm quite young (early 20s), very anxious and not particularly sociable. We don't have a lot of money either, so now I'm worried we'll stick out.

I'm due 14th feb, and the course states it is for "January to early Feb due babies". I didn't read this when I booked the course (the site asked for my due date and showed this as a suitable class). The next set of classes are either Saturdays (when I work) or for "mid-feb to late March due babies", but run up until the week before my due date which scared me as I'm convinced I'll give birth before 40 weeks (35-37 weeks is a pattern with the women in my family). However, now I'm worried that I'll feel out of place with these women as I'm less far along. To make things worse I'm hardly even showing as I had an inverted uterus and high BMI pre pregnancy.

Has anyone done NCT here? Was it okay? What was it like? I'm not working today so have hours and hours to worry about it now before our first class this evening!

I have just done my NCT classes over the last 2 weekends. Due dates ranged from December to March.
Age range varied massively and the leader was very welcoming to all. Didn't get the impression that anybody felt uncomfortable.

My husband found the information given really helpful and I found sharing information with other ladies really good.

Wouldn't hesitate to tell anybody to do them especially if there are no NHS ones in your area.

When I told my Mum that I had signed up for an NCT class she found it hilarious and said it was for rich hippies.... I wonder if they have changed a lot since they were pregnant? Signing up to NCT is the only bit of advice we have had consistently from all our friends and colleagues who have had children. I'm not due until early March so the class I'm signed up to doesn't start for a few weeks, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Everyone will be in the same boat as you and I imagine they get quite a spread of due date and being not so far along will mean that you'll have more to learn about what's to come from the other mums 😊

Babies in our NCT group were born from Dec-Mid Feb. Don't worry about that, better to get all your classes in and not miss the last few because baby has been born. You'll be on maternity leave and get to cuddle the babies born first.

Hi the babies in our class arrived over an 8 week period and not in the order they were meant to come - with one coming at 36 weeks. So please don’t worry about due date. Our ages range from 27-39 - with the youngest lady the only one who already had a child.

They are good knowledge based classes but take their militant stance on ‘no interventions’ with a huge, massive pinch of salt.

@pregnantncnc I haven't gone to NCT yet, but I'm also booked in for them in December.

I think you should try not to worry about it. Who cares ? You might even get to meet some people who are different to you and will add to your life experience. Even if they're a bit older. As for being middle class or able to afford it- well you could clearly pay for the classes, so you belong there.

I know saying ' don't worry ' is easier said than done, but it's just an experience. That's all. You might grow from it even. But I can understand it could be intimidating. I'm going to feel intimidated as well, these things can be awkward. But I don't care enough about it, to let it stress me out. If everyone's really snooty then just make fun of them in your head 😂 that's what I do anyway !

I found NCT great. There weren't any NHS classes running in my area either, and NCT fortunately put on another late September - mid October group. I was a little late in booking.

The ladies in my group definitely came from more professional careers than me. Age never came up, but I think we're all in our 30s. One of the ladies was due early November, but decided to come to the earlier group as she thought she would deliver early. Which she did.

We've all gotten on ok, and we've met up a few times now. If you don't like your group, it's only a few hours from your life, and afterwards well... Newborns make for the best excuses. Remember, they're all in the same boat you are, so you've got at least one thing in common with them.

The lady due months after everyone else actually delivered her baby first, in the end, so the due date itself doesn’t matter. Whether NCT is a middle class club or not depends on your area - my guess is that without NHS classes your NCT classes may actually be full of working class people or young mums who have been bought the classes by family.

In my own class we had a mix of older mums to be and young ones - we were all first timers because that is who the full course is aimed at. You can after this one book yourself to other other courses at a discount including baby first aid, yoga and baby massage (which are much cheaper than daisy foundation) and join the mum and baby coffee groups too.

Also the NCT nearly new sales / sling libraries are brilliant

We had a real mix of people in our classes.. maybe we just got lucky but not judgey or anything and a range of ages/backgrounds

Everyone is in the same boat and probably feeling as nervous as you!

I did the NCT antenatal class and whilst the information wasn’t anything different to what you can find online, it was good and I’ve made lifelong friendships. I’d recommend it but I do think it can be dependent upon who you end up in your group (ages in mine ranged from mid twenties to 40).

Are you on the due date antenatal thread on here? I’ve been on one for all my children and made some wonderful friendships.

I didn’t bother and very glad I didn’t, it sounds like heaps of money down the pan. I felt well prepared for birth without it and met lots of lovely mum friends at baby groups once DS was born - people often say the main thing they got out of it was friends but you can find them for free, you don’t need to spend 100s of £ for them. If you’re unsure about it financially and feeling anxious about it I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not bothering.

Yep very middle class but the kind of people who go there don't like to think of themselves as being middle class ('i work don't I? So I'm working class")/ ("middle class? I didn't notice") so they won't tell you that.

Little information about interventions/ bottle feeding. Otherwise ok but v pricey.

I had my first class last night and enjoyed it. We have had to book into a earlier group as my husband is military and deploys after Christmas to just before baby is due! Everyone else had huge bumps and I have..:nothing. Ha! I’m only 20 weeks and some women were 35+. However all very friendly and really informative and definitely not hippy in my experience. Good luck x

Don't worry about the ages. I thought I'd be the youngest (27) and wouldn't have anything in common with any of the (assumed) older mums. In fact the age range was 20-39! Everyone is there to primarily make friends, and hopefully learn some baby stuff too. We have a very active WhatsApp group and have just planned our Xmas meet up x

The timing will be fine. I was the last nct mum to deliver and it was ok, quite nice in a way as I got to hear all the birth stories from the others first and get tips etc. And if you think you might go early, you might not be the lady to deliver anyway.

It was quite middle class when I went and I was the youngest at 20 but it wasn't a problem at all. Everyone was really nice and the course was good.

I loved NCT, please don’t worry.. my class ranged from 25-41 (and dads up 46!) & from a variety of backgrounds. The couple weeks are a bit awkward as you are all strangers but you get to know each other! 2.5 years later and 5/6 of us meet up most weeks along with some other mums we’ve met along the way! One couple didn’t seem to want to be part of any socialising & that was totally fine. We invited her to everything & saw her very occasionally. There was no pressure from anyone, just we are here if you fancy a chat & some cake!

The classes were informative but probably nothing I didn’t know already.. and my class leader did not push breast feeding either. We went over breast & formula feeding. I know people worry about that but I felt no judgement or pressure from our leader.

Hope it wasn’t as bad as you thought tonight!

Ahh OP you'll be fine. I was 23 when I had DD, did NCT classes in a middle class area. We were the youngest (and I expect the poorest!) By about 10 years but everyone was very welcoming. I was due I think 21st July and we attended the classes mid June to mid July. Dd was one of the later one but not the latest and we have never been made to feel left out. I still talk to the group regularly and our children are 3 now

My daughter has been to NCT classes and she is a single Mum . She has been absolutely fine . No judgy comments and everyone very friendly.

Oh it must have changed since their generation!

In our class we were the youngest by 5 years (we were early 20s too) with the average age probably 33. But it seems, talking to my sister and friend who attended other NCT classes, that it tends to be the case in our area that everyone is early 30s not early 20s. BUT it hasnt really effected any relationships or dynamics in the group. Maybe occasionally they talk about something that I would be too young to remember but it isnt that bad.

Certainly wouldnt say it was middle class or for rich hippies either.

Our class was very balanced in terms of information given too - we shaped what we wanted to learn and as we had a lady who looked to need a ELCS we learnt all about that. We all chose to learn about intervention and drug options, was really useful to know all that ahead of labour. We also did some useful relationship stuff, about how to cope with change of relationship dynamics when a newborn arrives etc.

I do recommend it. I really want to do another one for this pregnancy but DH isnt keen on the idea of sitting in a room full of first time parents as he is worried we will scare them with our stories

I didn't but I wanted too, we had the opposite problem that there wasn't one near enough to us. Everyone I know who has done one has had a brilliant experience and are all friends on what's app groups and give each other so much support. I really missed that and only got that when my baby was 5 months and we joined a little class where newbies where put in a group to make friends and we are all now fantastic mates. Ages ranging from early 20's to 40. And all our babies love each other.
Don't worry OP, calling it middle class is quite narrow minded, you get different types of people in all 'classes' although I do hate that word! People going there want support knowledge and to make friends. Please relax and enjoy it, you are doing a good thing xx

Also our babies have 4 month gap between them age wise , it's not much in the scale of things!

At my NCT group last year, I was the eldest and was legally old enough to be the youngest's mum! (But only just!)

Our births spread from 4 November to 12 January.

I would not have survived the last year if it hadn't been for our what's app group, moaning at 3 am about our non-sleeping dick babies.