Antenatal classes - did you go?

[wondering7777]

I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my first and am wondering whether I need to go to antenatal classes. I read on another thread that you really need to sign up by 12 weeks, so I could’ve already missed the boat!

I’m not particularly outgoing or good in social situations, so would rather not go ideally, but obviously want to do what’s best for the baby.

Did you go to classes and how did you find them? Did you make any friends out of it?

In a nutshell, it was crap. Learnt nothing, no one spoke to each other. But I have worked in hospital with babies and children for years so maybe that's why it was nothing new. Midwife just harped on about breastfeeding for an hour.

I just went to the hospital ones. 2 evening sessions 2 hours each. I'd recommend it

I went to one with my first but I didnt go to the rest. I'm going back almost 10 years so it could be different now but I found it very weird.

We played games to get to know each other. I felt like i was back at school to be honest.

Near the end they told you how the baby is born. Again i already knew that.

I didnt bother with the rest because it just seemed so pointless.

However it could have all changed now. My dd2 is almost 4 and I didnt bother going to any so it could all be different

I only made one because my dc was premature. Didn't learn anything as I'd done plenty of my own research and as it turn out, managed to bring my dc up just fine without. However .... you may get hassle from the midwife if you don't sign up.

Mine were good. Four sessions: "textbook" labour and vaginal birth, c sections and interventions/ potential complications, newborn care and breastfeeding.

I found them quite sciencey and I did learn things I didn't know about the physiological process of labour. Wasn't patronising and I didn't really speak to other couples beyond polite chit chat which was fine by me.

Yes, but NCT ones. Although I understand they vary in quality too.

We’ve gone for a local private company run by a former obstetric nurse and a team of midwives. I’m seriously antisocial and awkward in groups, but it's been really good and I’ve looked forward to them.

Group leader is quite forward thinking, we’ve talked about different types of labour, pain relief options, mental and emotional health for both partners, practised some relaxation techniques, discussed hypnobirthing, and while I am quite an obsessive reader and like to think I know everything, I’ve come away with something new each time, especially regarding my relationship and openness with DH.

DH is a fair bit older than me (and the group have been brilliant in accepting this!) and he’s already got kids, but he’s also finding it really useful.

Would recommend (and I really didn’t want to go!) but this one is a company local to me so can’t guarantee similar elsewhere!

Depends on the class. The NHS one tends to be useful for technical information for Midwife led labour options and pain relief options (many won’t even cover hospital birth fully, mine didn’t. I needed to book a hospital tour to get that info) but don’t expect parenting advice or to make friends.

The NCT class is the one that goes into detail about the time leading up to the birth, breathing techniques, and parenting. They tend to be expensive but you do make friends and you have access to breastfeeding counsellors who come to your house to check your latch / mums groups / yoga / baby massage / sales etc.

Then there are classes in the middle like Daisy Foundation etc. Where I am these aren’t really worth the money, but in some areas they can offer things like hypnobirthing or yoga. These aren’t designed to help you develop a support system - so you may find yourself joining NCT anyway if you want to meet other mums

We played games to get to know each other. I felt like i was back at school to be honest.

Oh god, that is literally my worst nightmare!

I think I will look into NCT classes - do you have to pay for those then? I didn’t realise!

I’ve just looked up NCT classes in my area - there’s an “essentials” class over four or five evening sessions, or the “full” class that includes two all-day sessions on weekends! Which one would you recommend? Being in a group session from 9-5 sounds very intense!

I just went to the NHS ones. Didn't make friends/it wasn't social, they were fine, friendly midwife and gave some good information. Signed up sometime around 24 weeks I think.

Tbh whilst you will pick up some bits and bobs from the NCT course, you’re paying for the contacts and social element, so if you want this you’re better off picking the evening classes as you gradually get to know each other and friendship progresses each week.
It’s a lottery though, some people sign up and never keep in touch.

It's the social aspect I did it for. I wanted to meet other people in the same situation and skip (or outsource, I suppose) that awkward part where you don't know each other well enough to be friends yet but have to build up the relationship. The course info was good but it wasn't the main point IME.

I agree independent ones tend to be better than nct which tend to be better than NHS.

I haven't really stayed in touch with the others now DS1 is 11, as we had very little in common, but it was invaluable that first year. If you already know people who have small children, or you're the kind of person who can instantly make new friends meeting people at groups etc, then you might be alright without this. But having a first baby can be such a huge culture shock and isolating experience, it just helps to have a group to go through things with.

You could try your MN antenatal thread too - they often move to Facebook and then WhatsApp and it's a bit of a lower pressure way to get that support source, especially if you're geographically in a place others are likely to be too.

I agree that the full NCT classes are better. If you can find evening classes that run across an entire week (3 hours per day) that would be ideal - more likely to make friends that way.

I found the NCT classes quite helpful in terms of when to go to the hospital, pain relief options etc. There was an element of silly tasks in groups like school but luckily not too much.

I hoped to make some friends but didn't have anything in common with the other mothers except pregnancy. I'd say you are more likely to meet mum friends at playgroups and baby activities but it depends on your NCT group, some are better than others.

I went to the 2 hosp ones and a privately run breastfeeding workshop. I'm glad I went. But I am not very baby orientated at all so I did pick up some key points. During the hosp ones the Midwife was funny actually, made jokes and they stick in your mind even now. For example, when bathing your baby and you take them out don't shake the excess water off them, it's not a hit of lettuce lol. She was interactive and welcomed questions etc

Don't think I would go if we had a 2nd child.

Tbh whilst you will pick up some bits and bobs from the NCT course, you’re paying for the contacts and social element, so if you want this you’re better off picking the evening classes as you gradually get to know each other and friendship progresses each week.

That's true - I think it is probably easier to make friends over a series of classes rather than two intensive days!

I went to to NCT full course - didn’t get a huge amount from the course itself but we have a WhatsApp group which is, a couple of months into having our babies, an absolute godsend! The other day one of the mums posted at about 3am as she was having a horrible night, all but one of us were also up having crap nights so we were able to share advice, chat and just generally reassure each other! In the middle of the night when you feel like it’s all just a bit crap, you’re knackered and the baby is screaming and nothing seems to help, knowing you’re not the only one feeling like that helps to get you through.

I didn’t bother with it.

We did the NHS ones. They were good and I still see the three other women and their babies at least weekly. We were very lucky with our class as it was small and everyone was same age/demograph and the kind of people I would choose to be friends with without a baby involved.

We didn’t really make friends in the classes to be fair, that’s all come via the WhatsApp chats afterwards - initially sharing advice on suggested things to buy, what we’re putting in our hospital bags and stuff, new baby photos as everyone’s babies arrived and then the 3am chats to keep ourselves sane and some meet-ups for lunch/coffee to get us out of the house

Thanks everyone - I heard about Daisy classes too, but I think they only allow mums to attend? As mentioned I'm crap in groups so would like my DH to be there for moral support!

That sounds good @sallysparrow157 - if I do go for NCT, I hope I get lucky and meet some like-minded people there!