Giving birth alone

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DH will have to stay with our toddler when I go into labour. I am consultant lead so will be in hospital. Has anyone given birth without a birthing partner? Is it horrendous? I don't know what else to do, we have no family or close enough friends near by.

Could you employ a doula (check out doula uk website)? Many will work for reduced costs for a situation like this. I had one as my husband has a medical phobia and she was amazing!!!

I'm a midwife and when I was a student, there was a lady birthing alone. Myself and my mentor were purposely allocated to her so that one of us could always be providing emotional support, and one doing the other "work"

I looked into the cost with first baby and I couldn't justify it 😞

Dp (ex) didn’t make it home from his business trip so I gave birth with a mid-wife and a trainee mid-wife.
I went to Hosp when contractions were 6 mins apart and then had music for company, and the trainee midwife checking me every five minutes or so until my waters broke, then she stayed with me.
It was fine.

She was much more reassuring than my ex would ever have been.

My husband only made it for the last few minutes, and it was fine, I was on my own for the first few hours overnight in the hospital (induction), which was OK as it was my second child and I knew what to do. Later the midwives looked after me. Then it all got rather fast and they rang him, and five minutes after he arrived it was over! I was very glad when he got there, and he looked after the baby afterwards while I was being stitched up, but one of the midwives would have done that if he hadn’t been there. I didn’t really need him as such.

DH was with me but honestly I think I would have been fine if he wasn't. I'm quite an independent, just let me get on with it, sort of person anyway. It was more important that he was there to see his baby really, I didn't really need him.

I chose to give birth alone (1980s). I would have found it annoying to have anyone around. Still would.

DH was sent away after I was admitted with DC2, and didn’t get back in time for the birth. The ward was busy and the supervising midwife ended up looking after me, and was in and out, so I was alone for quite a lot of the last bit of labour. Things were progressing nicely and I was in the zone, so I was happy enough getting on with things. DH arrived about ten minutes after DC2.

I guess it all depends on how straightforward the labour is; it could be tough if you have decisions to make, or need an advocate, or things slow down etc. Could you plan a home birth?

^sorry, just re-read your post and spotted that you have to be in hospital 🤦‍♀️.

Yes, by choice, with child one. So much easier. For child two I had DH and child one there. They liked it. I would prefer it alone.

I did....wasn't an issue.

Lots of women deliver without a birth partner for many different reasons.
Please don’t worry the midwife and potentially student if you are in a teaching hospital will look after you.
This might cause much debate but a lot of birth partners are not that helpful.

Could you contact a nanny agency or childminder and ask if they can help look after your older child? Does the older child go to nursery, could anyone there help?

Lots of women end up birthing without a family member/partner or friend with them and as midwives we always work to give you extra support in that situation. Honestly no reason to think it will be horrendous. However, have you thought about things like how you will get to the hospital etc?
I would suggest that you raise this concern with your midwife. There may be a student midwife who is looking for someone to provide continuity of care for - that would give you a familiar face through labour and birth.
What sort of charges have you been told for a doula? They vary very greatly in different parts of the country, both in terms of what they do and what they charge.
It is probably also worth checking out childminders, emergency nannies or equivalent because even if you can manage this birth without support, one day you may need help. If you give us an idea what area you are in you may find that people have local knowledge.

I ended up birthing alone for my second child after I went into labour at 35 weeks and DH needed to look after DC1. It was not how I would have chosen it but honestly I was absolutely fine. A student midwife stayed with me pretty much the whole time and she was lovely. By the time I actually gave birth because DD was a pit premature there were about 7 people in the room.

I only have birth with my partner there and I feel bad saying this I felt i would have been alright witj him not there as he seemed to be more panicking tk wn

Dropped my phone and pressed post oops I was trying to say that o felt that I just did my own thing and my partner didn't really need to do anything and was more anxious than anything so I'm sure you'll be fine once in tv r moment on your own good luck!!! Xx

I’m a single mum expecting my second baby in February and I will be birthing alone. I’m not looking forward to it to be honest but needs must. I have no family and I looked into a doula but they’re so expensive. I’m glad people have had positive experiences

Regardless of being consultant led or not, you don't have to give birth alone in hospital. No one does. It's completely your choice, doctors and midwives can only give advise on what they think is best (and they're not always right). If you want to be at home with your husband and toddler, you can be.

*advice

I would have preferred not to have a birthing partner if DH was unavailable. I went to a birthing centre though the last two times where there were 2 to 3 midwives helping me in a relaxing environment (water birth). In any case the kids were allowed to see me a couple of hours after the birth and the visiting hours were not as limited as hospital hours. I guess you could try for a home birth too if possible?

I personally haven’t but a friend of mine did.
She had a very difficult labour but I don’t think she regretted it as she was just focusing on getting the baby out.

My DH was present at the birth of our DS but wouldn’t have noticed it if he had not been there at many moments during birth as I was so much ‘in my own world’ at that time.

The only thing I would be concerned about is who is going to advocate for your rights te consent etc. when you are alone and too caught up in the proces of giving birth.
Make a very solid and clear birthplan en discuss it thoroughly with your midwife.

For my second we wanted my DD to be with us. I had an elective LSCS and DD stayed with us on the ward until it was time to go to theatre. A friend had agreed to come and take her for a walk around the hospital for the hour or so I was away
I know that's totally different to a vaginal delivery but can you think of anyone who could come to the hospital and take her out for lunch or something?