WWYD? Newly pregnant, when to self refer?

[Elle8788]

Hi

Have name changed for fear of judgement. 5 weeks pregnant, but am rather worried about this pregnancy.

TTC for 2.5 years, have had two chemical pregnancies in that time and now this pregnancy. Due to be referred for IVF imminently.

I see loads of ladies already self referring to a midwife, but I'm worried that if I do that and have another chemical/early miscarriage, that will be a halt to my IVF referral for three years. My consultant has said she wouldn't count my chemicals but some clinicians would, and if you have a miscarriage your eligibility for IVF is gone until you have three years of no pregnancies, whether successful or not. Who knows if IVF funding will be available then?

I'm contemplating booking an early ish private scan, and then maybe self referring to a midwife if that goes OK. Not sure how early though? I want to be put out of my misery ASAP if it will be bad news, but I don't want to be in limbo from having gone too early.

What would you do, in my shoes?

@Elle8788 there should be a heart beat from 6 years, that's what I was told by my midwife last time I was pregnant as I was spotting at 5ish weeks. They were going to book me in at the EPU bang on 6 weeks for a scan to settle my mind but I miscarried at 5+6.

Maybe if you can hold out for a week and try and get an early scan at 6 weeks. Then you know what's what.

My EPU advise waiting to self refer to the midwife for booking in until your 6/7 weeks because of the potential for miscarriage and chemical etc. I've had 3+ miscarriages and they said it was easier that way as well for your mental health.

If you're worried I'd advise waiting until 6/7 weeks go for a private reassurance scan and if everything looks good then we'd refer. Should put you at ease and also won't cause any issues with your referral if it's needed

I would wait as long as possible to self refer. In my area you get an appointment to book in at 9 weeks but it’s only bloods and form filing. I think I’d wait to see how I felt at 8ish weeks

I would book the private scan in ASAP though. I had one at 6 weeks and saw the heartbeat no problem. In fact if I had the money, in your circumstances I’d have one at 6 weeks and one at 8 weeks

They should ask before sending the scan to your GP but just mention to them you don’t want it sent to be sure. Or just don’t give them your gps details- you can make up some details for you if you’re really worried

Good luck!

Personally In your position I’d hold off as long as possible! I’ve had several early miscarriages & mmc’s, one of which we actually saw the heartbeat at 6+4 and 8 weeks, went for a rescan at 10weeks and the heartbeat had stopped at 8+1

Unless you have some medical condition that might be affected by pregnancy and need to see a clinician ASAP, I would wait. Hopefully the baby will stick and you'll have a baby next year, but if not you wouldn't want to lose your place for IVF.

As pp said an early scan might help you. There are discounts on groupon for early scans, in my area you can have one as of £45.

There isn't much you lose by waiting a few more weeks to self refer you to midwifes.

All the luck!

Thank you for replying everyone, I was worried I may get flamed for playing the system

So sorry to everyone else who has suffered losses too.

I don't have any major medical issues. I know what medication I can't take now I'm pregnant and the one I've stopped was only an adhoc medication as and when needed.

I can't find any deals on groupon around here. A scan is around £70 full price. I might try and go at 6 and then 8 weeks if this pregnancy sticks that long. Just a bit nervous whether 6 weeks is too early...I am pretty confident when I ovulated though, so it wouldn't be far out.

Hi OP, I had three losses before my current pregnancy and felt very similar - I actually felt stupidly like going to the GP and getting the ball rolling would ‘jinx’ me. I had two early scans and then went to the GP at 8 weeks, booking in appt was 10 weeks. The EPU at the hospital will scan you if you have any issues or concerns in the early weeks also. Our first scan was at 6+5 and we saw heartbeats (I say heartbeats as it is twins!) - Good luck OP

Most private places around my area only offer early reassurance scans from 8 weeks as between 7/8 weeks is when a heartbeat can be seen so I personally would wait till then if your going to book private x

I would wait as long as possible. Have an early scan to reassure yourself and then another at around ten weeks, if all ok ring and get into the system then, tell them you've had a scan that dates you at 10 weeks and they'll get you squeezed in at the right time. Good luck

On a different point; in my area 3 miscarriages would trigger a referral to the recurring miscarriage clinic and maybe uncovering a problem that may prevent you carrying an IVF pregnancy anyway so people knowing about it might not be a bad thing if it sadly doesn’t progress.

Booking appointments aren't until 8 weeks at the earliest in my area. As long as you register with a MW before your 12 week scan is due you'll be fine. Good luck

@PotteringAlong that is a valid point, and I asked my consultant about this after my second chemical too. She said that in the same way she doesn't view a chemical as a means to discount me from moving onto IVF, she also doesn't see it as a miscarriage in the sense of allowing a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic. I have a feeling she thought I peed on one stick and got a faint positive which may have been wrong or something, but I didn't press because I was pleased she was still prepared to refer me for the IVF.

I do worry if the chemicals are something to do with it. I did get to nearly 6 weeks quite a few years ago but had a termination, so no idea how that may/may not have progressed. I have PCOS and with my two chemicals I had my usual monthly spotting prior to AF before the BFPs. This time (touch wood!) no spotting at all. I've always worried I have a progesterone issue, but my consultant said the NHS don't believe in that as being a 'thing'.

Will have to see what happens with this one, hoping against hope that it sticks

I hope so too