TTC After miscarriage

[Busybee143]

Hello,
Me and my partner have been TTC for a couple of months now and very luckily I got pregnant during the second month of trying, I was really relieved as I was convinced I would never be lucky enough to become pregnant, I'm not sure why just a lot of self doubt I guess. Unfortuently 5 weeks pregnant I started bleeding (this was yesterday as I'm still 'miscarrying') and sadly my pregnancy has or is ending. I've been a bit teary about it and i am still expecting the shock of it to smack me in the face but I am determined to get past it, start peeing on those ovulation sticks again, and try again asap. Just wondering who has been through something similar and have you any advice to offer? I just need some help getting through these next few weeks to my next ovulation and then through the tww.

Hi @Busybee143 didn’t want to read and run. Sorry about your miscarriage, it’s the worst thing ever.
I miscarried last September at 11 weeks, like you It was second month of trying. We started trying again right away though didn’t get a positive test again until May this year and I’m now 31 weeks. Every month I was peeing on sticks and getting annoyed it hadn’t happened each month. The month it did happen was when I was more chilled, was having sex for fun rather than forcing it cause of it being the right time and forgot about the TWw. Everyone is different though, but for me I think my body and mind needed the time to heal. I hope everything goes well for you. Xxx

Hi lovely.

Firstly I am so so sorry for your loss. I had my first miscarriage at 6 weeks with my first pregnancy. I felt I just wanted to jump straight back In. We got caught first time and i new how common miscarriage were.

We then fell pregnant again in July, this time with twins. Unfortunately we lost both twins (one at 8 weeks and the other at 10). I still have days were I feel I am greaving. I had to have a d&c this time so feel my body has been through alot. My advice would be allow yourself to have your sad days. It's ok to have them. The chances of recurring misscarigaes are low so try and stay postive.

Best wishes xx

Thank you both for your reply it's nice to have someone to talk to about these things.
@Dramaqueen14 sorry to hear about your tough time, so glad things are better for you now. I think you have a point about it happening when you stop worrying about it so much, I'm hoping I won't get phased by anything else that comes my way, I'm really glad things worked out for you, I bet your so excited!
@Jessem29 sorry to hear about your miscarriages I can't imagine what you are going through the second time round. I'm beginning to find my emotions surrounding my miscarriage and I am having my sad stints. Weirdly going back to work has been harder than staying at home, i thought it would take my mind off things.

We are still thinking about trying again straight away, from both of your experiences would I just ovulate now like I would after a period?

Trying to stay very positive!!

@Busybee143 you are going to have hard days lovely. One it's an awful experience and two your hormones will be crazy. Your body has been pregnant and your hormone level will be dropping! Dont be hard on yourself! I was told to have one 'normal' period before tying, this was to help date any future pregnancy. I was told you are actually very fertile after mc due to hormones. I have been lucky and never had to track ovulation, we have just gotten pregnant, but from symptom spotting I think I ovulated around 6 weeks after mc on my first. (This mc happens naturally, didnt need medical help) the second I had my period 4 weeks to the day of my d&c so I guess I ovulated in between. Hope this help. Here If you need to chat xx

I think I feel a little better today, I'm not having as many upset moments as I've been very busy but I am finding I'm short tempered and moody which isn't like me.
I hope your right about being really fertile, I think I just need to ttc again and hope for the best.
Because of the miscarriage I've been thinking very carefully about my diet and exercise. When i conceived when pregnant I was on holiday so i was eating lots of food I wouldn't normally eat like chocolate and lots of take away food but in fairness some days I was doing 30 000 steps as I'm a keen runner (i laid off running last time we tried) but it leads me to lots of questions.
Was I better keeping my normal running routine and that's what helped me conceive? Did the bad diet help my miscarriage? Did I miscarry because I had a 'bad egg'? Did I conceive because I was on holiday and relaxed?
Don't worry I'm not expecting you to answer the above as that would be silly they are thoughts that are going through my head. When you guys ttc do you carry on as normal or really watch things like the above?? I guess I'm looking for a way to help my next pregnancy, sorry if this is ott.

@Busybee143 sorry you are having a tough time of things but I have gone through pretty much exactly the same experience. I conceived in September after just 4 months of trying, but sadly miscarried. I bled for over 4 weeks in total which was absolute hell, all I wanted to do was move on and try again but I couldn’t while I was still bleeding. October was basically a write-off because the miscarriage dragged on for so long, so we couldn’t try again until pretty much two months later. I felt like my body was failing and I got quite depressed. Even now some days I think about how far along I would have been by now and I shed a tear for what could have been. But I promise you will feel better soon. You did nothing wrong at all, neither of us did, it just wasn’t viable this time. Take comfort in knowing you can get pregnant and your body is working, it just wasn’t the right egg this time. Don’t feel scared to talk about your feelings, you’d be surprised how many women in your life have been through miscarriage that you didn’t know had before.
I had my first post-miscarriage period towards the end of October and right now I am due AF tomorrow but I have been having some pregnancy symptoms so I’m hoping AF stays away. But I’m feeling quite relaxed about it and not feeling like it’s the end of the world if I’m not pregnant, hopefully you will get to that state of mind eventually as well and you will feel so much better. Take care xx

I doubt anything you did affected your miscarriage. It's awful, I know, but they are more common than you think. Don't forget many women would have not tested at five weeks and may just assume it was a late period. Theres no reason why you shouldn't try again and I dontvthink there's a need to change your lifestyle. Hope you recover okay and good luck x

@Busybee143 in answer to your q about ovulation, I think with early miscarriages you ovulate at a similar time as you normally would, give or take a few days. I am currently 23 weeks and I got pregnant after an early miscarriage. I've pretty much taken the day of start of bleeding for miscarriage as day of LMP as had no bleed in between and the dates from my scans marry up with that. Good luck again!

@Bettie2192
I'm really sorry to hear about that, it's just such a horrible experience.
I thought I might be the only one that got sad about what could have been, I was just thinking before about how many weeks I would have been tomorrow and that I would have been 12 weeks just after Christmas so it would have made it extra special then I just got really sad about it. I Just feel like it's one big cruel waiting game, I feel like when I get pregnant again I'm going to be terrified of something going wrong.
It's hard to compare bleeding as I know every woman is different but I think mines nearly over, i feel like I've got off lightly as it bearly measured up to my period, sorry for tmi.
I really really really hope af doesn't come for you and you get your bfp very soon but you're right about it not being the end of the world.
I've got everything crossed for you! X

@Rubyroost
Thank you so much that really helps, I've never had a late period so that was the give away for me that I was pregnant. I'm glad to hear you ovulated so soon and a big congrats to you! Hope you are well x

Very tired! But all is okay so far. I'm 41 too, so there really is hope for you. I know its hard, even an early loss is devastating.

I am so sorry for your loss :(
same happend to me 2 months ago and Iam not TTC . 1 round
goodluck xx

@Busybee143 it’s totally justified to still feel upset, in the few weeks after I stopped bleeding I still found myself bursting into tears at random intervals during the day. Don’t feel like you can’t grieve just because it was an early loss.
I really want to be pregnant again but I feel like it’s tainted in a way because I know I’ll be more anxious than happy at first :(

@Rubyroost glad all is going well, get lots of rest.
@LidiaM so sorry it happened to you too
@Bettie2192 I think I'm doing a little better today. I agree with you about being anxious, I'm a worrier anyway but I am sort of excited to try again so I think that's a good thing

Glad you’re feeling better, try to stay positive but remember to look after yourself and don’t hide your emotions if you need to let them out once in a while xx

I say I'm feeling better then I have a crappy couple of hours. Wish my emotions would stop changing so suddenly!!!! Xx

Don’t worry about it mine did that too, id literally just be sat at my desk in the office typing away and suddenly be on the verge of tears and have to run to the loo! It’s been 2 months for me and I still feel sad occasionally but honestly the last 2 weeks or so I have noticed a big difference, I think I’ve nearly healed

Glad I'm not on my own