Really scared of becoming a mum

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

I'm scheduled to deliver our first child on Wednesday by ELCS. People keep asking me if I'm excited but honestly I'm terrified. Not so much of the birth as I know I'll be in good hands and the procedure has been explained to me but of everything that comes after.
There's so many things to get right, feeding, sleeping. Generally helping him not be a terrible person. Also our lives were quite good before, I did want to have a baby but I'm apprehensive as to what life will look like after baby comes.
Did anyone else feel like this and not go on to be an absolute disaster of a parent?

I felt the same as you

2.5 years on of being a mother and we are doing it all again and I don’t think I’m doing half a bad job as I had expected.

Its the scare mongering by ‘helpful’ friends and colleagues that made it worse for me.

Yes. Its absolutely normal to feel like this. DS is 4 now and I'm pretty sure I haven't fucked up too much

It's a good thing. It shows you care enough and want to do your best. Just remember good enough is fine!

Thank you! I'm just so worried that it reflects on me that I'm not just so excited. I feel like I'm supposed to be. My family and sister in particular are practically delirious. I'm not unhappy at the thought I'm just worried. I feel like I've spent most of the last 9 months worried about something or another.

Oh bless you! I'm expecting twins and have no surviving children. Every day is a new freak out with all the previous freak-outs thrown in the mix. It's scary, becoming a parent - VERY scary and we need/want reassurance that we're not going to completely balls it up.

My friend has 6 month old twins. Before they were born she was freaking out as she didn't know how to hold/bath a baby and had no clue how to change a nappy. By the time they were a week or two old she was doing everything like an absolute pro. Parenthood - so I am told - is a huge learning curve. My mum frequently reminds me that babies aren't born with a manual (that is to say specific instructions on how to care for that particular child) so just tdo your best and don't be scared to ask for help if you need it.

My friend with twins says if the knobheads on Jeremy Kyle can do it, she definitely can. Nuff said?

There is so much to think about. I wouldn,t read too many books, they are useful for specific information such as weening advice, but not all babies follow the manuels. And what works for one does not ork for another. Prepare to be flexible. Seek out a support network. And take each day as it comes.

I wasn’t really excited either, just a bit worried about how we would fit this new human into our (very nice, calm) life. I sort of felt it was hard to be excited as I didn’t really know what to be excited about! It was all very abstract.

The first days were tough (emergency section, in hospital for a week), but it honestly just got better and better. As time went on things got easier and more enjoyable.

DD is 2.5 now and just magic. I love being a mum, and having her in our life. She has just enhanced it and made it even more enjoyable. I’d really quite like another one now!

PS - despite having zero intuition or ‘maternal instinct’ I think I’m doing quite a good job! DD is happy, sociable and generally a total joy.

Take each day as it comes. You can't worry about everything all at once, just what you need to do for that particular day. The worry doesn't stop but if it feels unmanageable do seek support with that.
I've had two elcs and they were great. Best of luck Op

You will do great, at least you care!! Your baby will look give you that look of love and you will fall madly in love and forget all the worry hopefully!! Good luck x

Thank you everyone again. It's such a relief to hear that how I'm feeling is normal. I think I also need to step away from the threads about difficult babies on here. They're giving me the fear!

The scariest bit is the first day back from hospital. Its hard with a newborn, but wellnworth it and your mother instincts will take over- promise. You'll be fine, good luck with your c section etc. X

Yes, best to step away from the parenting is horrible/difficult baby threads. When I was pregnant I read all of them and cried constantly as I had obviously ruined my life. When the baby was born, none of those bad things happened. I didn't have a terrible birth or awful recovery (elcs). I didn't sit around for months sobbing and leaking bodily fluids from every orifice. Baby wasn't awake 24/7. Husband was great. It was all fine - quite easy actually. Now obviously some babies can be difficult, births can go wrong etc, I'm not saying those people were lying or shouldn't have posted. But at this point what will happen will happen, step away and try not to worry.

I was terrified before I had my baby. I think I’m a pretty good mother. I’m miserable and my life and body are ruined, I’ve had to sacrifice everything i enjoyed because childcare is relentless, but my child is thriving.

Totally felt like this!
You really do just know what to do. It’s amazing.
I’m pregnant with dc2 and I’m really scared all over again!