I don’t know what to do!

[KentMum81]

Hi one and all,
I’m a new member, but have nobody to talk to, so hoped you can help me.
I have been feeling odd for about a week. Took a PT today and am apparently pregnant. I have been on the depo for 8 years, so never expected this.
I’m 39 and have 2 adult children. My OH doesn’t want children and has always said so.
I’m freaking out! I didn’t and don’t want another child at this stage of my life, but feel awful for feeling this way.
I don’t even want to tell my OH, I don’t even know how I would start.
I’m in total conflict, am I a horrible person for feeling like this?

You are not a horrible person. You’ve had a shock. You need to take some time to process this news and then decide from there what you want to do. You need to tell your partner so he can do the same. You never know you both might come round to the idea or not. Either is a valid choice. You need to work out what’s best for you and your family. xx

Thank you, for your kind words.
I’m actually a bit scared to tell my OH, I’m worried he’ll freak out and behave badly.
I never considered having a baby so late in my life, I’m worried about abnormalities and what not. I feel a bit lost and confused.

I agree you do need to tell oh... if he freaks out then he freaks out nothing you can do about his reaction but you both need to decide together what your going to do. X

You're not a horrible person at all, you're shocked is all.

Neither you nor your husband want a child, you already have two. If you're sure that is still how you feel, you must be fairly early in your pregnancy and it can be dealt with but you do have to be as sure as you can be. Also sure that your husband still doesn't want another child.

Up to you whether or not you tell him, I know these things are dealt with medically nowadays so you wouldn't have to be away for a day and night. It is a big decision though.

Whatever you decide, please make sure you don't become pregnant again!

Best wishes to you (can imagine how you feel).

You are not horrible at all. I would feel exactly as you do, because when I was 39, I in no way wanted another child. No way.

Of course you're not horrible. You need to do what's right for you. Your body, your choice. Counselling for pregnancy and abortion choices is available via BPAS: www.bpas.org/abortion-care/considering-abortion/advice-and-counselling/

Good luck.

You’re pregnant and you don’t want to be. There’s an obvious solution to this. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you had an unwanted baby then you really would have something to feel guilty about.

You need to take time to decide together what you want to do

I'm 38 and 14 weeks into an unplanned pregnancy. It took weeks of discussion to work out what was the right thing for us

Good luck whatever you decide