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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

5 wks pregnant & don’t know what to do

1 reply

Chalkipuss18 · 14/11/2019 12:32

I found out I’m pregnant last week (not planned) and I’ve ended up in a really horrible situation.

I have been with the baby’s Dad since June and everything was going really well until 2 weeks ago when I found out he’s an alcoholic who has relapsed. This was a massive shock and so horrible to watch, and then the following week I find out I’m already pregnant. He has never been abusive whilst drunk but he is on self destruct mode and I had to kick him out of my house the other night because I couldn’t cope with his behaviour. He says he is happy about the pregnancy but due to his relapse, has not been there for me at all since I found out. In fact it makes it worse because I can never get hold of him now and it makes me so mad that I’m left to go through all of this alone with no one to talk to.

I have told my mum about the pregnancy and she thinks I should get an abortion. This is due to the fact it’s a new relationship and I’ve recently got my 1st mortgage. As she took the news so badly there’s no way I can tell her the extent of the situation yet so I’m having to deal with it all by myself. I don’t want an abortion but I’m so upset and sometimes I think I can’t do all of this by myself. But at the same time I think an abortion will really affect me because I’ve always wanted to be a Mum and I’m 29 next month so it’s not like I’m too young. I guess I just never wanted to do it all by myself at such an early stage and I physically don’t know how I will afford it all on one income with childcare and a mortgage to pay. Plus there’s the stigma of telling everyone I’m single, pregnant and the dad’s an alcoholic - I don’t know if that’s even fair to put a child through 😢

OP posts:
TheHootiestOwl · 14/11/2019 12:43

I think you need to do what’s right for you. Take him out the equation, do you want a baby, can you afford a baby, have you got support? You are more than likely going to be doing this as a single parent.

Also, do you want to be linked to him forever? He’s an alcoholic, and unreliable and unstable. Do you want him as a role model for your child, what about him having access? Also, you’re only 29, plenty of time to have a child if you change your mind.

You can phone BPAS for advice.

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