Size 22/24, 24 stone and terrified

[Bellaamore]

I am so happy to be pregnant but I am terrified of the complications my weight is going to cause.
I am so scared that they won't be able to scan me and I don't want my partner hearing all of the things that are bound to be said about my weight. I am embarrassed of myself for getting to this size but I never imagined I would become pregnant, especially not at this size.
This is my first pregnancy so I have absolutely no idea what to expect and the fear is crippling me.

Hello! Been there, done this and now have a healthy lively toddler running around.

First things first, there's no reason that you can't have a relatively healthy pregnancy. Is it ideal? No. Will it be harder on your body? Sure. So that's why staying mobile and controlling what you're eating now will really help. We were referred to maternal medicine and controlled my sugar intake from the off - avoiding gestational diabetes. Do not set out to lose weight but remember 'eating for two' is a myth.

Re scans: well yes it was harder for the technicians to get a good picture. It involved a lot of bizarre positions mostly titled to one side so that 'gravity' helped. It's not the most attractive thing in the world but they technicians are very discreet and seeing your baby on the screen is the best distraction for you and your partner anyway.

What helped me was just being honest and blunt about my weight, I was embarrassed but I wasn't treated unfairly or unkindly.

The whole experience has spurred me on to lose weight, especially for my sons sake, so on the whole is say it was a positive!

Congratulations OP!

Thank you so much for your reply.
I am very aware of my weight and I am fairly blunt about it with people but I have this weird hangup with talking about it around my partner, which is absolutely ridiculous seeing as he is the one person that sees exactly how big I am but the thought of him hearing my actual weight at these appointments makes me shudder.

I have never been small but I gained 8 stone due to the hunger caused by mental health medication and I fell in to the trap of letting a happy relationship make me fatter haha

I don't remember my weigh ins ever being 'said out loud' they just got noted down. Honesty, it's not ideal but it's not terrible. This is honestly the start of great things and happy memories! Things that helped me were staying mobile, start some 'pregnancy yoga' , walk were you can. I also 'ate for my baby' so lots of veg and lean meat and fish. No regular desserts, though I did have the odd treat! It wasn't easy, honestly similar to you I was on anti-depressants and all I wanted were carbs carbs carbs! Especially when the sickness kicked in. My baby wasn't overly huge either, 8lbs! He's still a really healthy weight, super active so I feel like it was all worth it.

Hi, I was obese when I had my daughter (still am). My pregnancy was totally fine and my daughter is fine. It happens all the time and they'll be used to seeing women of all sizes. The scans were fine and my midwife didn't mention it really. Congratulations! 😊

Hey OP. Congratulations on the pregnancy! How far are you?

I’m currently 21 weeks with my first and started my pregnancy around 21st.

Weights are never said out loud, plus seem to be in kg all the time so no one actually knows what it means!

Midwife was very understanding when I said I was nervous about it. There are things they have to tell you as a plus size mum to be, but she said it in a no - judgmental way. There are increased risks of some things but in no way does that mean you will get them. You just need to be aware. I’m also on aspirin daily to try and reduce risk of preeclampsia due to my weight.

You will have extra scans (growth scans) as it’s harder for midwifes to track growth of baby by having a feel. I’m taking that as a bonus!

Any scans I had before 12 weeks had to be internal as it was difficult to see through my tummy tissues. My 12 week and 20 week were abdominal. Only thing is they sometimes have to press quite hard to see what they need. Is uncomfortable but doesn’t harm baby.

Diet is important. I eat much healthier now than I did because I don’t want gestational diabetes or anything and want to control the )inevitable) weight gain. At 21 weeks I’m 10lb lighter than when I started. I’ve still had treats but am just more aware of portion sizes and snacks. Oh and take a pregnancy vitamin including a higher dose of folic acid (5mg) which you need from your GP asap.

Maternity clothes are harder to find but not impossible :)

In short, many many of us larger ladies have straight forward pregnancies :) (so far so good) trick is being aware of what to look out for and trying to watch food from the start (easier said than done if you get MS!)

There is also lots of support here, so keep talking :)

I noticed a lot of people saying they don't say your weight out loud - well mine did.
I'm classed as obese (size 16) and my partner is around 5 stones lighter than I am (pre pregnancy weight so it's only going to get worse) so I was very nervous about him hearing it. They said it loudly and he obviously must have heard and I was a bit devastated to be honest. He's never mentioned it and must obviously be aware I'm much heavier than him but it was still a big thing for me.

Make sure your doctor gives you the higher dose folic acid - mine refused point blank as he didn't know I should have it plus told me 'pregnancy isn't an illness so I don't want to see you during your pregnancy'

I also have to see a consultant due to being obese but when I saw him he never even mentioned my weight - to be honest, not one doctor or nurse has even brought it up apart from the booking appointment and that was just to record my BMI. I also worried about the scanning especially as my baby is low so they're pushing into all my lower belly fat to find it, but again they never said a word.

Wow you were all so lucky.
I was a size 16 when I fell pregnant, had a straight forward pregnancy, scans and birth. No diabetes.
I was given a pep talk at the first midwife appointment and literature about healthy eating. My weight was monitored. (I gained 8kg overall) When i was 7months pregnant, a different midwife told me I shouldn’t have gained any weight at all in the pregnancy and I am a bad role model for DC. I was devastated and cried my eyes out.

In my second pregnancy I was very worried to go to midwife appointments. Sadly, i had a MC before my appointment.

Good luck OP wishing you a much better experience and enjoy. I wish i was pregnant too again.

Hi!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!
At my booking appointment my bmi was 42....I'm 5"9 and a size 22 (pre pregnancy) currently 41 weeks pregnant!
Other than being classed as high risk and getting extra scans and being consultant led I have had no issues. It has been lovely to have extra scans and actually felt reassuring knowing everything was okay...I have been really lucky and had no health issues during my pregnancy, my dr appointments have always been less than 10 mins and after my 35 week growth scan I was discharged back to midwife care.
I have had no restrictions with making any choices at all and have only been weighed once since my booking appointment and that was at 39 weeks for my notes for when I'm in labor.
I was anxious too at first but being higher risk doesn't mean you will experience the risks they mention.
Please don't worry and enjoy your pregnancy everything will be fine xx

I also carry a lot of weight on my stomach and have never had any issues with scans...

Hi OP I was in a similar situation with my second pregnancy and was

It's very reassuring to see so many posts from larger ladies. I'm 19 weeks now and my bmi is 37. I'm under consultant care and have been put on aspirin. Obviously they mentioned my weight and bmi at the initial appointment but since then have been supportive. I'm constantly anxious about being larger and pregnant but there is a lot of support out there. Keep up the chat girls.

Hi OP I was in a similar situation with my second pregnancy and was fine overall. I did get gestational diabetes and extra scans. I was initially embarrassed but just tried to remember they were medical professionals and dealt with it all the time. They never overtly mentioned my weight but had bmi on front of file (41) although wasn't obvious what it was referring to.
It did spur me on the lose 8 1/2 stone 9 months after giving birth and now I'm a healthy weight. I also lost weight during pregnancy following slimming world which was recommended by my midwife

It was never really an issue for me and I was around the same as OP when I fell pregnant. My midwife made sure I got the higher dose of folic acid and I had a slight issue early on with abdominal scans but they were done internally and problem solved.

My babies weren't heavy (7lb5oz & 8lb5oz) but I did have glucose intolerance testing with both and all was fine. My BP was never raised and no other concerns were ever noted.

My weight did have an impact re SPD but since my youngest was born, I've been diagnosed with a long term issue which actually explains all of the issues anyway.

Been there and done that!!

Do yourself a favour and just tell him how much you weigh.

He won't care (he's hardly going to be surprised you're not 10 stone) and it will stop you getting worried. You don't want added worry at this time.

Congratulations!

Please try not to worry too much. Be honest with your midwife about how you're feeling about this when you have your booking appointment.

As long as you're aware that there are some things they will have to mention/discuss/warn you about due to your BMI and are open to accepting that, and knowing they're doing it for the health of you and your baby rather than some personal attack, you'll be grand. It's not ideal to diet in pregnancy but you can follow Slimming World whilst pregnant as it's more about eating a healthy balanced diet rather than calorie restriction.

I was a similar size and weight when I fell pregnant. It wasn't ideal but I was told that if I wanted children to do it sooner rather than later (due to a totally unrelated condition). My plan was to get my coil out, let my cycles settle down a bit, lose some weight and maybe fall pregnant after 6-12 months or so. Nope, it took a week!

Fortunately, I had a totally normal pregnancy. I worked up until 37 weeks (was being induced at 38) and was at the gym doing a spinning class the evening before I was induced! I took a higher dose of folic acid, I took aspirin and had a test for gestational diabetes but that was fine. I too was worried about scans (and I had a lot due for reasons unrelated to my BMI!), but every one of them was fine (I had 13 in total, both NHS and private). They were all perfectly clear as well.

I'm not sure my weight was ever said out loud. Other than my booking appointment with my midwife I was only ever weighed at the hospital where I'd be taken off to have weight, blood pressure, urine sample etc. and my husband would just stay in the waiting room as the HCAs would do it before the actual appointment.

Your relationship with your partner is going to go to a whole new level. In about 7-8 months he's going to see you bring his child into the world. He's going to be your support and your advocate when you're at your most vulnerable whilst you do so. He's not going to be worrying about what the number on the scales says.

Enjoy the journey you're about to go on, don't let your weight worries take that away from you

I’m pretty sure slimming world have a pregnant & breastfeeding plan if you wanted to lose weight gently whilst pregnant.

Yeah my bmi was 35 at booking and I had a great pregnancy! I only had one midwife get a bit judgy about my weight and she wasn't nasty, just factual.

I didn't have any problems with blood pressure, SPD, passed a GTT at 25 weeks, i had an extra scan at 32 weeks which showed the baby as being on the large side, so had another scan at 38 weeks, DS was still showing big, and he was born at 40+11 at 10lb 11!!

BUT DH is 6ft 4 and I'm not short either and DS had been on the same growth curve the whole time, so I think he was just a big baby!!

@Tractorgirlz yes they do!! They don't recommend actually losing weight while pregnant, it's more of a maintaining your current weight while the baby grows so that when you deliver you will weigh less than before. I stuck to the plan roughly, only put on 9kg, DS was 4.5kg of that alone, and I was back to my booking weight the day after giving birth.

Let's ignore the fact I managed to put on loads of weight after the birth due to sleep deprived snacking!

Hey girl!

Congratulations OP. 36 week pregnant and 19 stone young lady here.

A lot of fat is on my tummy and my scans were not the clearest in early pregnancy and I was told it was due to 'corpus restrictions' which basically means my chubba chub.

I was terrified about the fact that my weight would be mentioned at every other point and I would be shamed for allowing myself to get pregnant whilst I am so big, but this hasn't been a problem before. Yes, I am fat and yes, I am pregnant, but there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it at this point. The midwife will talk to you about your weight and about not putting anymore weight on during the pregnancy and some refer you to a dietician.

I also had extra growth scans and a gestational diabetes test. My son is average weight and I do not have any GD. I have up until now had no weight related symptoms whatsoever during my pregnancy at all.

Now that I'm in late stages I have started to sygger with SPD in the last couple of weeks and the fact i have a larger stomach probably contributes to that somewhat.

You sound like the anxiety about your size is the thing you're most worried about, when your body starts changing and you start to see your baby on those scans, you will start to feel differently and realise that as long as you're doing all you can to keep your baby healthy (balanced diet, no high sugars or caffine) then that's the start of your journey being a great mum.

Good luck OP!

Oh wow I am overwhelmed by all of your responses, thank you for taking the time to reassure me.
I had an appointment today with a woman from perinatal and she was absolutely lovely. I spoke to her about my size and she was very understanding.
By booking appointment isn't for a few weeks and my partner is away for work so he will not be attending but I don't want to push him out of any a future appointments that he is able to attend just because I am embarrassed of how much I have let myself go. I know he deserves to experiencing this pregnancy just as much as I do so I know I just have to get on with it I'm just afraid that it is a little easier said than done.
I have started to follow slimming world and started to push through my anxiety to get some walking in every day. Small steps at a time and I know it won't make big changes but I have to start somewhere, right?

Thank you all again

Hi all I'm 38 years of age and around 22/23 stone would like to try for another child before it's to late my husband would also like to have one but is worried of the complications i have had kids before roughtly this size and had natural births I have tried to loose weight but due to my medical history it's been hard any advice please

Not going to lie, I’m 39 y/o (don’t know how old you are) BMI 33, i was training for a half marathon before getting pregnant and lost 4 stone so felt in reasonably good shape. Still finding it rough now at 36 weeks pregnant. I have gestational hypertension now with lots of monitoring and do wonder if that could have been avoided if I had been slimmer.

You’ll probably be monitored much more closely and have more appointments but try not to worry.

No one in the NHS has given me much grief over my age or weight which really surprised me tbh.

sorry, just noticed that this thread is a ghost thread.

Thank you

Hi 👋

I am currently around 6 weeks 4 days pregnant - not confirmed yet, just what my period tracking app has said! I have a 9 year old son so this is my second pregnancy. I was never small with him, but I’m around 2/3 stone heavier now at 18st 11🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m worried firstly that I’ll be judged throughout my pregnancy by midwives etc but I also have varicose veins in my legs and have done for a few years now. So I’m more worried about blood clots etc. I guess what I want is reassurance from people who have had varicose veins prior to pregnancy and during and had an ok labour and birth?

thanks for reading this far 😩🤣