Getting scared about labour

[LighteningRidge]

Is anyone else terrified of labour? I'm due in the next couple of weeks (induction booked) and I'm bricking it. I'm getting really upset everyday over little things and I think it manifests from this irrational fear of giving birth. I just can't imagine it and I'm starting to really get upset with my partner too who doesn't seem to understand how anxious I am. Luckily I'm seeing the HV and Midwife this week to discuss it a bit further and the team at the hospital have been nothing but amazing when I have gone in for appointments etc.

Please say I'm not alone, is anyone else scared?

What antenatal classes have you attended? It’s natural to be apprehensive. We’ve all been there - you can do it.

Attended NCT and I'm not sure whether it was an information overload which didn't help. It seems like there is no "right" way to give birth. They all come with risks. I just want to skip forward three weeks until the baby is hopefully safely here.

Do the Positive Birth Company Digital Pack if you can, it will help you a lot. Then breathing techniques are excellent and helped me informed areas of my life, too, including a very distressing flight.

Understanding how labour works and demystifying it goes a long way to taking the fear our of it.

Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth is also excellent, just read part two.

You can do this! Your body is perfectly designed for it, and your baby is perfectly designed for your body.

The baby really hasn’t got far to travel (think about it) and a woman’s body is a pretty amazing piece of kit.

Its natural to be scared esp if its your first as you have never experienced it before. Im on baby no3 and although ive done it twice before im not exactly scared but its daunting as its getting closer.. you will be absolutely fine honestly. Your hormones wont be helping and aswell you need to understand your partner wont understand how anxious you are as he has never and will never go through child birth. Try and relax and keep calm and its great you have good support from hv/midwife x

I'll have a look at the digital pack and start on the breathing techniques. I know I need to get into the right headspace for this.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I have been watching labours and it is amazing how women get through labour. It has helped in some ways but I just can't picture me doing it.

Oh see i think that would make me worse watching a women give birth🙈 i actually came across a video other day and it freaked me out even though ive done it twice already. But if stuff like that helps you and reading about what happens etc helps then definitely do it xx

I think it helps that it isn't the full length labour!! What I find amazing is when the midwife breaks the waters and all of a sudden these women are pushing. I don't understand how it varies so wildly. I know it is all a mystery but I would much prefer it if it happened to a set timescale!

It would definitely help if it was all textbook wouldnt it but you will be absolutely fine xx

If it helps in any way, I loved my birth. I’m 25 weeks with my second and strangely looking forward to doing it again

I get it - 38 weeks and up until this point thought I was fine about it, but had a few twinges over the last couple of days and went into a full blown panic so clearly not as prepared as I thought I was

As previous posters have said though, your body is made for it and it will be fine. Also the baby has to come out somehow!! Good luck!!

I found the best approach was to go in with an open mind. You can plan your labour to death and it can so easily go out the window. I’ve seen first hand how badly that can affect people after birth.

Of course have an idea of what you’d like and work towards that birth but if you find your pain tolerance lower than expected, ask for more painkillers. If you wanted a water birth but require additional monitoring, just roll with it. I found once in labour, I just wanted a safe labour, as pain free as possible & baby out safely. My labour didn’t go as perhaps I’d have envisioned but I just wanted her here safely and stayed calm(ish) through it

I also have it firmly in my mind that after 9 long months of pregnancy, it’s really a very quick process. For most people 24 hours or so and then you’ve done it & you don’t have to do it again!

Oh I remember that feeling.

Try not to put so much energy on it (easier said than done). If it helps, I focused on the picture I wanted to see at the end of labour... I knew I wanted to see my son in my OH's arms. I could picture it over and over, in different situations but that was the one image that I focused on. And I got that picture... it will forever be imprinted in my mind. It was just pure love. Absolute joy and pure love. And it was wonderful.

It didn't go completely to plan with the birth. I thought I would be a quiet birther. I wasn't. I wanted a birthing pool. It was taken. I didn't really want to go to the hospital to give birth. Turns out it was a great place to give birth and the staff were wonderful.

I guess what I'm saying is, it's natural to be fearful, to think about all the unknowns. But trust that your body knows what to do. It is literally the most amazing thing a body can do.

I listened to Mindful Hypnobirthing by Dr Sophie Fletcher in the lead up to DS arriving. The meditation segments went a long way to making me feel more grounded, more connected to baby, more in control and more able to adapt to things not quite going to plan.

I enjoyed it so much the first time round, we've got no.2 on the way as I speak 😂

Hey lovely.

I'm 35+4 and being induced in a few weeks too. If you send me your email I'd be happy to send over a few hypnobirthing tracks from the little birth company. There is one specifically about releasing fear. I've found them comforting. Also I've read that fear is the worst thing for you as it produces adrenaline which makes you tense. I think it's all about looking at things from a positive point of view and channelling this fear into excitement. You will be great xx

It’s not irrational to fear childbirth. Try listening to some hypnobirthing.

OP I was so scared of my induction that I had full blown sobbing panic attacks the two nights beforehand as well as feeling generally terrified in the run up. I tried so hard to bring on spontaneous labour but my body was having none of it. I did the PBC digital pack and with that you get access to a Facebook group where people post their positive birth stories, there are loads of induction stories and I found reading those really helpful in calming me down.

Once it actually got started the reality of my induction was fine, the midwives were lovely and I felt totally looked after. Despite needing the hormone drip I managed with only gas and air, needed 3 tiny stitches and had minimal blood loss.

I’m due my 3rd at some point from now, both previous births have been drug free (despite first being a kiwi/ventouse back to back, only has and air as pain relief!) but I’m absolutely bricking it this time. So I think worrying is natural.
I keep thinking what if something goes wrong. What if there’s something wrong with her or she doesn’t make it? Or me?
It’s fear of the unknown and it’s awful but rationally there’s not a lot you can do except wait and see what happens.

Thank you all for your replies. It is making me feel a bit better. The hospital staff have been amazing so far and I imagine it will continue. I will look up all your tips to help me through. That's interesting to hear that induction can still be done without pain relief. The way it was sold to me is that it will be incredibly intense and hideously painful
@jessmegan I'm not sure how to pm you but I'll see if I can work it out!