Relationship advice appreciated

[harrybow23]

Hi everyone, I just need some non judgemental advice really. I don't have many friends and it's not something I'm really ready to go to my family with yet so hopefully some of you can be of some help!!

So, I am 23, I have a four year old son with my ex partner who is very involved in his life and an amazing dad. I met my current partner 2 years ago and I found out 8 weeks ago I am pregnant with my second child (roughly around 14 weeks now). Here's where it gets tricky, me and him haven't been good for a while now, the person I fell in love with has turned into someone I would never of gone near in a million years.
My fun loving kind boyfriend has turned into a miserable not very nice person with incredibly questioning outdated views on the world which are strongly conflicting with mine.

We've had months of some really horrible arguing and I had spent almost every day for months crying and unhappy. He now wants to go back to normal and is being all nice and actively trying to work it out but I feel like I've fallen out of love, I don't want to kiss or hug him, or be intimate in any way and I can tell it's upsetting him now. Everything he does irritates the life out of me and the love has died on my side. I really am stuck on what to do.. every time I try and tell him about this he shuts me down..
any advice would be appreciate and thanks so much for reading.
Keziah x

Maybe a break away just the 2 of u make or break getaway see how u feel then. If u have only been feeling like that only lately could be pregnancy hormones. First 12 weeks of my pregnancy every little thing about my current partner annoyed and irritated me to the point I was thinking about leaving him. Turns out it was just my hormones wrecking havoc Im 18 weeks now and starting to feel normal again and can't believe I ever thought of leaving him

Firstly, have some unMN hugs and Sorry you are feeling like this and not able to talk to anyone in real life.

I think you should separate this out into two issues: 1) your relationship with your boyfriend, and 2) your pregnancy.

For 1) then in order to try and salvage the relationship (assuming that’s what you want) then your boyfriend needs to engage with you and talk about how your feeling. If he doesn’t do this, then I don’t think you can save the relationship on your own. Having dramatically different viewpoints on key issues is possible to accommodate in a relationship, but only where both people can discuss these rationally and with respect for the other person’s opinion. So assuming he can do this, are his views something you can accept he holds or are they deal breakers? I’d suggest some time in your own to think these things through and work out what it is you want.

Then 2) I assume you’re happy about the pregnancy? (You don’t say anything about considering options.) So I would think about how you would feel about being a single parent to this baby. How would the practicalities work e.g. living situation, finances, support from family and friends? I guess some of this may be familiar from raising your 4yo with your ex.

Anyway, that’s just what I think. Hopefully it will help you with working out what you want to do.