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Original poster

Partner used to be on SOR

19 replies

BnBNNB · 11/11/2019 23:04

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else had been in my situation?

My partner used to be on SOR, NOT for anything to do with children. I have a child from a previous relationship, and when I was told about the register I had a 5 minute phone call from SS, and never heard anything again from them.

He's been off the register for just over a year, and I'm now pregnant.

Was just wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation, and if so what happened in pregnancy/ after baby was born regarding SS involvement?

Just to reiterate that his offense was nothing to do with a minor, and was also not a violent crime. More being made an example of, which was pretty much confirmed by the police officer who managed his case!

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 11/11/2019 23:11

What is SOR?

FridalovesDiego · 11/11/2019 23:11

If he is no longer in the register, I would not imagine there will be much involvement. Does he already live with you and your existing child? Was the lack of previous involvement by SS due to him not living with you? But I would disclose to your midwife as they are there to help you.

Saltnpepper5 · 11/11/2019 23:12

Did he tell you him self and how long have you know him?

bloodywhitecat · 11/11/2019 23:12

Sex offenders register.

HappyHammy · 11/11/2019 23:12

I think it's the sex offenders register but OP can confirm

RLOU30 · 11/11/2019 23:14

Oh okay thanks clearly I can't help as I didn't even know what it was sorry!

Original poster
BnBNNB · 11/11/2019 23:14

He's lived with us for the past almost 2 years. He had a child while on the register with someone else, and according to him had little involvement.

I've been told by my midwife that I'm being referred to SS.

He has previous convictions, mainly when he was younger and had been drinking, but nothing in the past 10 years.

I'm not painting him in a very good light here I know, but he's been great with me, great with my child, and is fantastic with his own.

I'm just worried as never had SS involvement before, and was wondering what would happen

OP posts:
Original poster
BnBNNB · 11/11/2019 23:17

We've been together just over 2 years, and other than the call from SS about 3 months into the relationship, and 1 meeting with his police worker, he's been left alone the whole time.

OP posts:
LemonSqueezy0 · 11/11/2019 23:19

What was he on there for? It's a certificate of registration for sexually motivated crimes, so he must have pled or been found guilty. I know the "hierarchy" of crime means you feel better in some way that it's not a child abuse case, but the requirement for someone to sign the register is a sexually motivated crime whichever way you cut it. Even if social services weren't involved what will you tell your children, and in years to come their playmate's parents? I assume you've found out his exact crime yourself, and not just taken his word for it?
Genuinely not trying to give you a hard time, just answering your question

FridalovesDiego · 11/11/2019 23:26

If he already has a child and has been living with your child for two years, it sounds like future involvement will also be minimal.

1idea · 11/11/2019 23:26

Surely it depends on the crime, a 15 year old exchanging nude photos is different to 3 years of stalking/up skirting for example.

MrsH497 · 12/11/2019 07:00

Assuming you aren't just taking his word for why he was on the register. I agree with @LemonSqueezy0 there has to be a sexually motivated element to be ordered to sign the register for any length of time doesn't matter if minors are involved or not.

Have you considered a Claire's law application? You say he has previous convictions do you honestly know what these are for?

SS involvement is probably likely to be limited but they will need to ensure that you and the children are safe. If he is currently off the register this may ease SS mind a bit but they have to make sure you and the children are safe.

Original poster
BnBNNB · 12/11/2019 07:47

I had a meeting with the police offer in charge of his case, he was drunk in a club and put his hand on a womans stomach under her top. He got chucked out later for fighting, she saw then started saying he'd inappropriately touched her. No witnesses, so nothing was going to happen, then her friend gave a statement so he was told to plead guilty. Was told he'd get a slap on the wrist, but got put on the register instead. This was all confirmed by the police.

I guess I'm just worried about SS, I've never had any involvement with them before. And you hear all these horror stories.

I know, my fault as I knew he was on it. Just upset and concerned about it, and was wondering if anyone had experience of it

OP posts:
RubbingHimSourly · 12/11/2019 07:51

Someone here ended up on there for drinking too much and waving his willy about in public Hmm

Obviously he shouldn't have been waving his willy about in public but it seemed a bit harsh to me..........either ways. Your dog's lack of respect for women aside I honestly wouldn't worry. His reason for being on there wasn't related to children or even a serious offence in the grand scheme of things.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 12/11/2019 07:52

I imagine that initial phone call you had, would be repeated now you were flagged up to social services again by the midwife. She will probably ask you the same questions to check nothing has changed and you aren’t in any danger. So long as you are friendly and open, and are telling her the truth, she will go away again. X

RubbingHimSourly · 12/11/2019 07:54

Dps, not dogs. Bloody hell, it's too early for me. 😂😂😂

The midwife is just doing her job. You won't have any comeback from this.

OpheliaBee · 12/11/2019 07:55

Social services are very stretched and busy. You MIGHT end up on a Child In Need plan (I doubt it) but there won’t be any legal action or anything like that unless there is much more to this than you’ve already stated.

OpheliaBee · 12/11/2019 07:57

Also, I’m a midwife and I think your midwife had worded this to you clumsily. She probably should have said something along the lines of ‘We will put a referral into social services so that we can share information and they can tell us about their previous contact with you and we can offer you appropriate support’.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 12/11/2019 07:57

she saw then started saying he'd inappropriately touched her

There is so much wrong with how you've phrased this.

He did inappropriately touch her. She was telling the truth.

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