Should I invite abusive ex to my growth scan

[amb38]

Me and my ex have recently split because of emotional abuse and harassment he and his family has caused through my pregnancy (27weeks). I need to go for a growth scan because my baby is measuring a little smaller than expected. He's text me 18 times in the last 2 days telling me he's posting my pregnancy on social media, and asking to meet up with me etc. In the past he has been physically abusive so I've been receiving hell because of this. I do feel bad about not informing him of the growth scan but I also can't cope with any more stress. Any advice welcome.

No. And you don't need to feel guilty. His actions caused this, not yours.

As someone who was in an abusive relationship. Absolutely not. And I wouldn’t want my child anywhere near such a person. Get out whilst you can.

No, you don't need to invite him or feel guilty. I was in a similar situation and decided not to invite my ex to a scan as he would have ruined it for me, stressed me out worrying how he would act etc. It's your body and your choice.

No

No. He's your ex because he is abusive (and continues to be manipulating you) and needs to be kept well away from you and your baby (whether or not the baby is biologically his). Please please seek help and set firm boundaries otherwise he will continue to harm you physically or psychologically which will have an effect on your baby. www.womensaid.org.uk/ have some good advice on their website. Take care

No. Do not let him anywhere near you or your DC.

No. And do the Freedom Programme.

No. Don't have him anywhere near you, especially not when you are going to be in a state of partial undress and therefore feeling more vulnerable than usual. Stop communicating with him, don't give him any more information about the pregnancy, and block him from contacting you.

I wouldn't even tell him when I went into labour tbh. Men who abuse their partners are not, as a result, able to be decent parents, nor will they ever be able to be. I wish more people would realise this - we have a view in our society that children should have a relationship with both parents, but sadly some people just are not capable of being a positive influence in their children's lives and they do more harm than good by being involved.

Short Answer... No! I also hope your putting in place so he wont be allowed to have that baby alone either. X

Thank you everyone, I'm new to all of this @Boymummy3 do you know who I would need to contact to get something like that arranged?

Speak to Women's Aid. Your midwife should be able to advise you, too. Good luck.

No

No!

No .

Many things you should do .

Report harassment any abuse to police , report to midwife, do not contact him at all . Do not post on social media about baby, do not let him or any mutual friends know you are in labour.

Give baby your surname and do not let him come to register the birth or be on bc.

These are the best ways to protect you and baby.