I need some help with this...

[LibbyAshleigh]

I’m almost 39 weeks, and there’s no baby yet, obviously. But I’m really struggling. He could come any day now, and I’m really sad. Not because of the baby, but just in general. My boyfriend went back to work today after having a week off, and that’s upset me. I’m worried about so much;
What if I go into labour while he’s at work? He works 45 minutes away. What if I get bad postnatal depression after the baby’s born? I used to struggle with self harm and depression, I’m really scared I might get too depressed again and go back to it. And what if I can’t have a water birth? I really really do want to have a water birth.
I’m just worried and sad a lot. I have honestly tried my very best to cheer myself up and relax until labour comes but it doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t know what to do

I think you need to speak with your midwife about how your feeling. X

You poor thing. Although these sound like very common worries, it would definitely be worth speaking to someone. Your midwife in particular should be able to support you re: the birth anxiety (hypnobirthing might also be helpful), and she can also refer you for talking therapy via your GP or perinatal mental health team. You will be prioritised as you are pregnant. It is worth trying to get support now, so that you have the right network around you for after baby is born. Don't suffer in silence x

Yes, try the Positive Birth Company digital pack if you can while you're waiting for baby to come, it should help you. Also be sure to speak to your midwife!

Echoing everyone here - speak to your midwife about how you’re feeling. I have had issues with my mental health in the past and had a flare up of symptoms in the two weeks before the birth, my midwife was brilliant.

Also re: your water birth - I also was adamant that I wanted one and I’d got it into my head that having any other type of birth was going to be sub-standard (a lot of this was due to things I’d picked up during antenatal classes and online). I got in the pool for an hour during birth and ended up getting out because my specific labour meant I had to abandon my plans of no pain relief and be up on the bed with a pethidine injection. My DS then came very quickly and I gave birth on my back, on the bed, even though in my birth plan I’d said very strongly that I didn’t want that! It was a case of just wanting him out safely ASAP. I would say that if you want a water birth, then obviously do everything you can do make it happen. But have a think about what you would like to happen if it’s not a possibility. Preparing this in your birth notes should help you stay calm and focused if for whatever reason you aren’t able to have a water birth last minute.

Try to approach labour with an open mind. The more you get fixated on a specific idea about how it must go, the more likely you are to experience negative thoughts/feelings if it doesn’t go as planned. Of course, ask for your water birth but bear in mind, at the time, the most important thing is getting baby out safely however that may be!

All I put in my birth plan was that I wanted an epidural if I asked for one & to be handed baby straight away even if needing emergency surgery. Everything else was a wait & see. As it happened, I had a really long labour, two epidurals (one failed) & forceps in surgery. But I just wanted my daughter here safely by that point, anything to get her out & in my arms! She was immediately passed to me as per my notes I have no negative thoughts about my birth, it wasn’t easy or how I’d have liked it to go but you just can’t predict it unfortunately!

Im sorry you are feeling so down, def have a chat to your midwife about it if you can. Your concerns are very valid about your mental health & they can keep a close eye on you after birth. Hopefully you’ll be fine but better to identify these things early!

To ease your mind re-your husband, I promise baby will not arrive in 45 minutes! My partner works an hour away, I called him & he got himself home ASAP. I was in labour for 72 hours 🙈 he could have finished his working day to be honest!

Sending love & a hug! 🧡