Do you think I’m too young to have a baby?

[LibbyAshleigh]

I’m almost at the end of my pregnancy, 38+5 weeks. I’m 19, 20 in January. Do you think I’m too young and immature to raise a baby? My boyfriend is 21 in December so he’s not much older than me, but he acts more mature. I’m worried I’m not mature enough to raise a baby. I’m not terribly immature, I just have a few problems with my attitude and my stubbornness sometimes and it makes me feel immature. We’re living at my mums house until we can get a place of our own to live too, so that makes me seem even less ready for this baby. There’s nothing I can do about it now, and I’m obviously keeping him, but do you think I’m too young and immature to have a baby?

It's probably a bit late to worry about it now!

You'll do fine I'm sure.

I'm 35 and I frequently feel that I'm too immature to have a baby. And yet I do somehow and he's pretty awesome. You'll be absolutely fine. Wishing you all the best!

I was 20 when I had my first baby. I felt a bit like you but when the baby was born it went out of my mind and I just concentrated on being the best mum I could. The fact that you’re worried about it shows that you care about being a good mum, so you’ll be fine. I enjoyed being a younger mum. I’ve done it again recently and I am much more tired and have less energy. So think of the positives that way :) good luck

Don't worry about it now your baby is nearly here! You'll be fine, no age is perfect. Good luck with your baby

I imagine it's living with your mum that's making you feel this way. You will surprise yourself! So long as you do not rely on your mum to much and remain in mother mode not daughter mode you will do great.

Is this a reverse?! Who would describe themselves at that age as having "problems with my attitude"?! It sounds like what a parent would say about their child. It's not that long since I was your age and nobody I know would have ever described themselves like that, even if it was true

You'll be fine. Especially if you have your mum there to help too. I have a couple of friends who gave birth at 19. They are in their early 30s now and have great careers and lovely families. Also you can mature with the baby in the years to come. Just look after him well.

I’m sure you’ll grow up quickly once the baby arrives. You won’t really have a choice.

Out of interest, what made you and your boyfriend want to have a baby when you’re so young?

You'll make it work. None of us are ever really ready.

Your baby will become your priority and you'll be ok.

Good luck x

Until my 2 dds were about 12, I kept expecting a knock at the door and that I would answer it to find a mature, sensible woman saying “don’t worry, I’m a real mother and I’m here o take over”.
Having “problems with attitude and stubbornness” does make you sound immature but seeing that for yourself and realising it’s immature is actually pretty grown-up.
Stubbornness is not a bad quality in a mother. Try to think of it as determination. Mums need plenty of that. But do remember to be respectful and kind to your own mother. You will be tired, you will be stressed but speak to her as you like to be spoken to and apologise when you don’t always manage it. Admitting when you’re in the wrong will fix most problems. Apologising can be the difference between a mature adult and a stroppy teenager.
You’re about to find out that mothers will forgive their children pretty much anything.

You are a year

You are a year older than I'm was when I had my first, and he's done very well for himself. And I got a couple of degrees after he was bom. You'll cope.

My parents were 18 and 19 when they had my brother (stable jobs, paying mortgage). It didn't turn out well for our family but that doesn't mean it won't for you. I think it was because they lacked life experience and didn't have much of a support network or friends (plus a bit of bad luck as DM got seriously in her late 40s and DF is still a carer to 2 siblings). However I also know 37 year olds in this same situation.
You will probably have a lot of family help as they will also be younger than average GPs and will regain your independence much earlier than average to persue a career or go travelling so there are a lot of positives. You'll always get comments from people thinking they know what's best for your child no matter what age you have them.

My boss was 19 when she had her baby, she managed to raise that kid with her 19 year old (now husband) whilst shooting up the career ladder, I think half the reason she managed it was because of how much youthful energy she had. I'm 37 and having my first, I think there is pros and cons in having early or late.

Whatever they are though you'll smash it, and 19 isn't too young, a few generations ago it was perfectly normal and your housing situation has nothing to do with your maturity it has been stacked against young people. Xxx