Help - my friend needs advice.......

[Jobean]

My friend - a non-mumsnetter friend of mine has approached me for advice.

She has just come back from holiday recently and found out she is 4-6 weeks pregnant.

Whilst away she indulged a few nights drinking (6 units per night she reckons) and even went to a club and took 1/2 and ecstasy tablet.

She is now distraught and is considering a termination although this goes against all her thinking,

has anyone had experience of a similar situtation, I have always sought advice here for myself and I hope that I can help her. I am not sitting in jusdgement - just want to help x

Please tell her not to worry so much if she wants this baby there's every chance it will be fine. I came back from hols and discovered I was pg (6weeks) after drinking every night (much more than six units too) I was worried but I was told that the embryo isn't linked to your blood supply in early pg like it is later on once the plancenta's attached.

A friend of mine took e and coke on 2 nights out without realising too and the baby is fine, she was honest and her mw told her a lot of people do take recreational drugs without knowing and it rarely effects anything.

HTH

Not sure you can advise really, just support her. We all know the risks of drinking and taking drugs and whilst she obviously didn't know she was pregnant, she does now and she'll have to make a very hard decision. I didn't know I was pregnant for over 3 months (still getting AF) and I was certainly drinking far too much to be safe, but although my dd has no effects from it, I cannot say 'hey! Its fine - I did it!' You're just going to have to support her. Sorry I can't help more.

It is still very, very early in her pregnancy, lots of women don't know they are pregnant at that stage and are still drinking (and may be taking drugs too) and their baby is fine.
That's not to say she can carry on drinking and taking drugs now she does know.
Is she considering abortion for fear of having damaged the baby 'too much' or because she isn't ready to have a baby at this stage in her life?

I think she is more worried that she may have caused damage than not wanting to have a baby.

I feel so bad for her - some people can act as angels throughout their pregnancy and bad things happen some can be totally irresponsible and their babies are fine - it seems as though its luck of the draw.

I will stick be her whateveer she does and thanks Mumsnetters any advice is gratefully received x

If she's basically a healthy, fit lass, then I would urge her not to worry. Stress is by far the worst thing for a pregnant woman.

fwiw, I conceived at 39 by accident (having vowed not to have kids), with smoking, drinking, all very prevalent before conception.

Result = one spankingly healthy boy. In the great lottery of life, it's down to the luck of the draw for most of us. I would add that I'm very fit (I walk at least three to seven miles a day), but even so ... please reassure her.

She'll be fine. Baby will be fine.

We weren't ttc when I got pg with dd, and I had a wild new year's party before I found out. Like her, I was about 4 weeks. Ironically this was going to be my last hurrah before ttc! Anyway, I was smoking joints daily at that point, and at the party I drank copious amounts of booze, took ecstacy and magic mushrooms too. I completely FREAKED OUT when I got my positive test a week later. I was thrilled to be pg but terrified about what that party might have done to the baby.

Well, DD is perfectly fit, healthy and far too clever for her own good. Like others have said, at that early stage of pregnancy, the baby is still living off the egg sac and the placenta isn't working yet so chances are nothing got to the baby.

Derah did you advise your GP or did you just keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best?

Can I reiterate, that lots of women either now, or years ago got pg whilst pissed or drugged etc and gave birth to healthy babies.

Good god, my natural Mother got pg whilst out of her head on gin and continued to drink it throughout her pg. I am adopted. But I am pretty sure I don't show signs of madness

oh and I forgot the slimming pills.....

Jobean - I told my midwife, she gave me a disapproving look (to which I whined that it's not something I do often) but told me that there's probably nothing to worry about. She was quite right.

I notice no one contradicted me

Thanks everybody, I think i am going to be a God Mum now for the first time xxxx