3rd trimester - asking for seats on train journey

[Dramaqueen14]

What are people’s opinions on this? I am attending a meeting for work which requires an hour long train journey during rush hour. The last time I made the same journey the train was busy and I couldn’t get a seat. Wasn’t an issue then as bump not very big but now I’m further along standing on a train for an hour would not be pleasant. Do people find that others give up their seats and if not has anyone asked? Is this ok and how would you do it? Thanks xx

I always asked if I needed a seat. I asked people who were sat in the priority seats that are meant for pregnant women etc. No one ever said no although most people offered me a seat before I had to ask TBF.

Just book a seat?

Can’t book a seat on this train unfortunately

No one ever gave up their seat for me so I looked for the you get person nearest the doors and just said 'excuse me but could I please sit down?' if you're far along I'm guessing you can clearly see you're pregnant also you don't owe anyone an explanation

Youngest

It really depends on how much you are showing.At 36 weeks I still don’t look obviously pregnant and had to stop commuting because getting a seat was difficult, even when I asked for it; and I have low bp so needed it!

Can your workplace pay for a taxi instead? Mine did on a few occasions.

Thanks everyone. That’s helpful. Yes visibly pregnant, though i know some people like to pretend they don’t see people in need of seats

You're not alone.
I travel to work by train - a 20 minute ride and most of the time, it's rush hour so I end up having to stand next to the door (the side that won't open). I do this because I'm afraid to stand next to seats and nobody will offer the seats. There are times when it's really unbearable but 100% of the time I am afraid to ask for the priority seat because of the fear that i will be turned down. :(

I always have a look at priority seats and check if it mentions "pregnant women" because sometimes it's would only mention elderly or disabled. I have never asked for a seat yet but when my baby gets bigger, I would need to do it.

Anybody had an experience of being turned down despite asking?

Takes me back to when I was pregnant with DC1 and commuting to work.
It was the days of the old doors that you opened and shut yourself and the window came down for air . Got on and packed train . Man sat there with his paper wide open, as were his legs. He started to moan that I had the window open (was hot, felt a bit sick etc) so I said if he was a decent man he would give me , an obviously pregnant woman, his seat . He sneered .
Told him I feel very sick and apologise in advance if Ithrow up all over him and his paper . He vacated the seat .

If you need a seat, ask.

I didn’t travel much by train. But once at 37 weeks (and enormous, I gained 4 stone which was nearly half my pre pregnancy body weight!) nobody offered me a seat on a long journey. I was pretty appalled. Many don’t pay any attention but two women in particular looked at me, glanced at my bump and continued their convo. Asked for a seat and a lovely man jumped up and apologised for not having noticed me.

If you feel you need to sit, do. At this stage your comfort is a priority.

Just ask. People are either caught up in their phones or don't want to cause offence by asking.

If they say no then just stand by them shoving your bump about

Which train line is it? I commuted on SW Trains when I was pregnant and was offered a seat pretty much everyday. But people are often just caught up in their phones/kindles during rush hour, so just ask whoever is sitting in the priority seat to give it to you :)

just ask. i would always move if asked but often wouldn't notice another person in need if i'm busy reading / on my phone. so i'd like to be asked.

Thanks everyone I don’t feel so bad now about thinking I might have to ask. I’m in Scotland. I salute all the ladies down south navigating the London transport system! X

I commute most days in London, and every time I've had to ask for a seat I've been given one with absolutely no problem (32 weeks now).

And almost everyone has been lovely about it!

I don’t think this is even something specific for pregnant women. I think there are enough people who have the decency to give up their seat if asked by somebody who says it’s because they don’t feel able or well enough to comfortably stand for the duration of the journey. It’s just a shame that some people either don’t fall into this category or else perhaps already need to sit down for their own reasons and feel that is more important.

I remember being sat in a priority seat when heavily pregnant and a man asked me to move for his mother because he/she considered herself to be more eligible because she was elderly.

Just ask. Another London commuter, most people don't even let you finish the question before they've moved. Noone wants a scene in which they are refusing to move for a pregnant woman.

When I was about 24 weeks pregnant my husband and I were travelling down to manchester. We were supposed to drive but booked the train at the last minute and couldn’t book seats. He tweeted the train company explaining the situation and they sorted us out with seats. Might be worth a try!

Just ask - I commuted up until 36 weeks and asked every day, nobody ever said no but sometimes people don't hear you with headphones in.

Please don't be embarrassed to ask. Target the "Priority" seats if there are any. Make eye contact with someone. Privately pray that they haven't got a hidden disability.

@OnlineShopping that’s an interesting one. What did you do in that situation? X

@Dramaqueen14 I gave up my seat although if I’d really felt I needed it, or I had much longer to go until my stop, I would have asked if they could have asked somebody else and if nobody else agreed then I would have given it. I think the man felt quite embarrassed when he saw me get off the train with crutches later on (I had them for PGP) and he clocked quite how heavily pregnant I was. On reflection I can’t say for certain he knew I was pregnant when he asked me and I didn’t say anything to him as I didn’t feel the need. It was a packed train though so I’m sure we could have both had seats if we had needed them.