Bridesmaid & Due Date!

[helpasisterout]

I am sure this has been covered many times before but can't find anything which helps me.

Here's the quandary, I am currently 11w4d pregnant with our first baby and after a loss of pregnancy the first time we are madly excited and apprehensive all in one.

My best friend asked me last year (long engagement) if I would be a bridesmaid, recently I think her MOH and the other bridesmaid have been a bit distant with her so she's running everything by me which is so nice and we have both had a stressful few months so feel even closer than ever.

Trouble is... there are 15 days between my EDD (will know exactly after 12w scan) and her wedding. I feel awful, she has bought the dresses, gorgeous but lots of money and booked all beauty treatments etc. Best case scenario baby comes on date or a week early and I can attend as it's really close to home.. worst case scenario baby is born via section or induction at 42 weeks.. day before the wedding and we miss it completely.

I know she will be thrilled for us because she is a seriously genuine and good friend and knows how much we want a family, although possibly wasn't expecting it at this time. I should have told her about the loss at the time which maybe would have made it easier to tell her about this pregnancy but I went completely insular and only told my partner.

I will be attending her hen do which is all organised and at a close driving distance to me and even closer to family so that's all fine.

She will absolutely be the first friend I tell if all is well, we haven't told ANYONE not even family so will be telling them first, mutual agreement between DP and I.

So what I want to know is.. how do I tell her?

I will offer to pay her now for my dress, beauty treatment etc etc so she isn't out of pocket as I doubt in any way I will be able to be a bridesmaid? But I just don't know how to word it, I so want to share this exciting news with my BF and she will be so excited but I am dreading seeing her face change when she realises the due date is so close to her lovely wedding ☹️

All advice, experience and info gratefully received people! Xx

@helpasisterout I dont really have any words of wisdom to help you but I'm sure like you say if she's your real friend she will be over the moon for you, yes a little sad you can't be bridesmaid but surely she will understand maybe tell her about the baby you lost previous and explain how important this is to you xx

I dont think you really need to even explain anything. Your pregnant and that in itself is an amazing thing. If shes the friend you have described I doubt her first thought is about her wedding.. she will probally be made up for you.

As for not being bridesmaid... you say there is 15 days inbetween edd and her wedding so technically you could still be her bridesmaid you will just be heavily pregnant. We neve know when we are going to go into labour so I wouldnt as of yet say you cant maybe not yet but eventually discuss that depending what happens closer to the date then it may end up you cant be etc I'm sure she will totally understand. Xx

Forward her the cash or take a cash envelope when you are meeting her (for the dress and the beauty treatment). When she asks you why, you tell her.

Do tell her soon and before you announce it on social media.

I am sure a true friend will be over the moon for you and if she is a little disappointed it will only be fleeting. Paying her for her expenses is a lovely gesture and the right thing to do.

I think this is the probpwm wuth booking wedding's so far in advance, you can't expect people to put their life on hold for years!

Congratulations your pregnancy.

I was in a similar position with my MOH. She was due 5 days before our wedding and we'd got made to measure outfits when I was on holiday in Vietnam! As far as I was concerned I wanted her at my wedding more than I wanted her as a bridesmaid. Despite the initial shock, I really was happy for her and in fact squiggle arrived 10 days early so we had a 2 week old guest and a lovely MOH. Just talk to her and tell her as soon as you can x