ML and feeling depressed

[Heartburn888]

Left work for mat leave and this is my first full week off. I would have thought I’d of been really happy, sleep ins all week, pottering around all day but I just feel depressed. Like I have no meaning to getting out of which is causing me to stay in bed until this time or until I need to get out for whatever reason. Did anyone else feel like this?

It’s like I have no structure to my life, I’ve worked since I was 14 and I’m now 28 and I really don’t know what to do with myself. My hospital bag is packed, house is clean and tidy, I don’t have the nesting feeling just yet but I washed my baby’s clothes the other day simply because I had nothing else better to do.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I don’t want to get into the habit of going out spending cash willy nilly as things are tight as they are. And I also don’t want to take on tasks for other people to keep me occupied as this will become a rod for my own back

Hey OP I'm not quite in your position yet as I don't go on mat leave until Christmas but I have been thinking a lot about what I'll do when I am on leave and have more time to myself!

Some of these suggestions may not resonate with you but here's a list of things I've been considering (I'll have 4 weeks between going on leave and baby's due date!):

• Going for walks with the dog (even without a dog, a daily walk can make you feel so much better!)
• Jigsaw puzzles
• Colouring books / reading
• Home project (I'm going to sit down and design our garden layout for later in the year when we have a bit more money & baby is bigger)
• Watching series on Netflix (I've been getting recommendations of shows to watch when I have some down time)
• Catching up with family & friends (whether that's face 2 face or online)
• Look at local mum & baby groups (many of which you can go along to pre-birth)

Also give yourself some structure, make yourself get up and have a cup of tea or breakfast at the same time everyday even if you end up going back to bed a few hours later. Maybe take a morning walk every day and see what happens?

It's a tough time but it won't be long until your little one will be here and you'll miss your 'me time'! Hope you feel better soon xx

Can you start a craft project? Start decluterring one room at a time? Read loads of books. Also: food prep, food prep, food prep!

Thank you so much for your replies!

Some great suggestions, I’ve forced my arse out of bed and Straightened my hair and will go meet my dp for lunch but it’s a massive improvement from yesterday where I didn’t get dressed (albeit into another set of pjs) until 3.30pm. I use to take the Micky out of my sister for being so lazy!

The food prep sounds like something constructive as do the walks. Eating is another thing I’m hardly eating during the day or drinking because I just don’t feel like doing it although I know I should be, it’s so hard with no structure and I’m not even hungry. At work I was like clock work and ravenous, drinking lots of water during the day but it’s all gone to pot! Explained to my dp last night how I was feeling and he didn’t really know what to suggest apart from go and see family and friends.

Thank you for your suggestions xx

Hello! I'm in the exact same boat, it can really get you feeling down and depressed.

I spent a week moping and feeling rubbish, but I think that's what I needed. It's hard trying to stop the feeling of needing to be busy!

I was given some good advice which I'm going to take - batch cook pasta bakes, curries etc and freeze so that when baby is here you don't have to fuss with cooking. I'm also going to make some little Christmas stockings (they're £1 each at hobby craft then you can decorate them as you like) for us and the baby. I'm not that crafty but worth a go ha ha.

Plus there's always crap daytime tv

Hope you feel a little brighter soon xxx

I felt exactly like you! I second doing food prep, we lived off my ML lasagnes for the first month of DD's life. I also got my nails done and had a haircut, which was nice and which i didn't get the chance for again for a few months!

I have been thinking about a trip to the salon, for a facial for something to treat myself as I won’t get one for a while!

I’m going to bob into a craft shop and get some little tit bits I can mess around with and it’s a great idea for Xmas so thank you for that.

So glad to know I’m not on my own feeling like this and hope you ladies feel better soon too ♥️

@Heartburn888 absolutely, treat yourself while you can!! I think I'm going to do the same as you - make a conscious effort to get up and out of the house at least once a day. Talking to people helps too doesnt it? You feel a lot less alone! We can do this! Xxx

My first time on mat leave I felt the same I was abit clueless what to do with myself. I found myself cooking loads and ironing everything down to socks haha but I started to make a big memory book so it's still going now I did this with my second an found it relaxing an kept me busy looking for little craft bits to add into it. It has pictures of me and their dad as kids and their other brothers and sisters (dads other kids) then to how they came into the world an how me and their dad met an we just keep adding memories to this day....
Iv now got 6 weeks left with DC3 and il be honest I'm just glad to have a sleep when they go to school an out my feet up! Xx

Exactly why I went to almost my due date with second baby!

As a pro (2 kids!) I'd say start looking for things to do when you're with your baby for example, look for baby groups you fancy, groups to meet up with etc

Also look at doing something they will help you get through the nights, so I'd would record any series, get a good Netflix list going etc as some people are up half the night or bored still bf during the day and evening, I never spent so much time on my backside sitting down bf' and it's boring!

Get some library books if you like to read, and some other things you think will keep you occupied too

Get loads of rest too as labour can be long and tiring - I hardly slept for 3 nights ... and pretty much ever since (11 years later) not slept through the night

Good luck 😉

I think the trouble when going on maternity leave is you feel guilty/depressed for being 'lazy' when in fact it's the perfect time to do this. If you want to stay in bed, be in pyjamas all day, do nothing but binge watch TV then do it! Yes of course don't become a hermit but there's nothing wrong with taking time out before baby comes to rest and just do what you feel like doing.

That's so true @sprite25 ! Xx

I'm planning on doing lots of scrap booking, getting photos printed and/or creating photo books to keep me busy :)

Make sure you are Christmas ready... Presents all done.
Organise your pictures.

I loved my time off work! Lots of batch cooking, reading, walking, scrap booking. I also did a deep clean and got rid of all our clutter. It felt amazing to be on top of everything before baby arrived! You can watch all your tv series & films once baby is here, just snuggle on the sofa.

Oh and great idea to get all your Christmas presents and cards sorted!

I did make a start on some today I went for a 40 minute aimless potter round Asda and picked up a couple of gift bags and presents then treated my dp to a McDonald’s for his dinner then came home and had a 1.5 hour nap lol not feel so good about that bit!