31 weeks too early for mat leave?

[georgia19ox]

Hi, im just looking for opinions really, im in full time work working
42+ hours a week sat at my office and i hate it!! at the end of the day its a job which pays the bills so i have stayed, lately work life has been causing me alot of stress which i bring home its effected my sleep and just feel very down, im thinking of leaving after the Christmas holidays i will be 31 weeks pregnant, for the main reason it gives me that time to get in the right mind set and relax a bit before having the little one

They'll start your mat leave at 36 weeks if you're off with pregnancy related illness. But that's still better then starting it at 31 weeks.

I'm on 2 weeks annual leave until my mat leave kicks in at 39 weeks. I was suppose to work up until 37 weeks but had to end at 36 weeks as I was struggling too much with the commute and my toddler. Really, I probably should have stopped at 34 ish weeks and I'd probably not be suffering so much now.

Do what you need to do. If the company is shit, I'd consider taking sick leave for 4 or 5 weeks, then mat leave start at 36 weeks then you can use annual leave at the end too.

Do you get occupational sick leave, or will you get statutory sick leave? Just 100%make sure you are out of your qualifying period for maternity pay if you're going off on sick leave

Only you know how you feel, but I'd say that's way, way too early.

I took two weeks before DS1 and I was pretty bored to be honest (oh to have time to be bored again!)
Physically I was fine though. I got a bus, then train to London, then walked for 15 minutes to my (desk) job.

(I never returned to that job as I couldn't get the childcare after he was born for London commuting hours, but thats another story)

It's very early! You might get bored at home, plus the more money beforehand the better.

It’s totally up to you ofc and however you feel. I was in a similar situation, hating my office job and just wanting to leave. My official mat leave started on my due date but I took two weeks annual leave beforehand so actually stopped working 2 weeks before my due date. My baby was 6 days late so I basically had 3 weeks sat at home, it was nice but it got boring very quickly. In hindsight I wish I hadn’t taken the two weeks annual leave as I’m returning to work soon and wish I had them as time now to spend with my baby before going back. I think do what’s best for you but if you can stick it out longer then I would because it means you get extra time with your baby when they’re here and you won’t want to miss you on that

I knew I had to go back quite quickly to work so I stopped at 38+5 even though I was commuting 1.5 hours each way to and from london daily. I had my son 39+2 so it meant I could take my mat leave plus my annual leave and spend all my time with him. Equally my friend stopped at 31 weeks but she didn't have to go back so it was different for her. In an ideal world I would have had a week at home rather than 1 day (left on friday had him on tuesday) but I didn't have that luxury and family helped when I wasnt completely organised. Do what you feel is best for you and your family.

Do what’s right for you! X

I took mat leave at 32 weeks as a big project ended and it just made sense timings-wise (was also Christmas). I got VERY bored. Would have much preferred - in hindsight - working until 36 /37 weeks and having more time on the other side.

Don’t underestimate how bored you’ll get if you have 8-10 weeks off. It sounds like heaven now, but it is actually dull. No one else off to hang out with, jobs and museums and films all soon be visited / watched.

I'm amazed that people get bored. Does nobody have any hobbies or interests? I had to take 3 months out of work after redundancy (long notice period/gardening leave essential) but it was bliss just indulging myself!

First pregnancy I stopped work at 32 weeks. Severe back ache and really stressed. In tears every morning. Was completely the right thing to do. (Yes baby arrived at 42 +0 so was going a bit crazy by the end)

Second pregnancy finished at 36 weeks. Baby was elective section at 39 weeks . 3 weeks was perfect amount of time

Totally off point but how is Friday to Tuesday only 1 day, @wibs77?

Hi @georgia19ox, i'm 25+5 and I am in a similar situation with work. I was recently signed off for 3 weeks due to work stress and anxiety which helped massively. I don't think you should have to take your mat leave earlier just because your boss is being terrible. I would advise speaking to your GP about the stress as this is a big worry when pregnant.
I will be leaving work at xmas and taking all of Jan as leave as I feel like my commute into central London will be too much.
Like I said, don't feel like you're the one who has to leave early because of your work. I keep being told this is the only time when you're protected as much as possible so use it to your advantage.

Good luck!

tisonlymeagain thought I’d love it. I’m a big reader, love going to museums etc. But I got really lonely with all my friends at work! DH finished work at 7/8 as well. I think I’m someone who needs to be around other people. And I also need a purpose.

But if OP is someone who enjoys their own company and has hobbies, maybe it’d be a good thing to take that time.

I got bored as all my friends were at work. I live in a rural area without many places to visit. There's only so many times you can clean!

I worked up u til 38 weeks I think. I felt able to though.

Some colleagues had extreme hip/pelvic pain or hyperemesis and had to go off early. Depends how you feel.

You wont know how you feel until you're actually off and with baby whether youd regret it or not. If you have annual leave to take, try and take some of that so you can have a bit longer off and still get paid!

@OlderthenYoungerNow I mean 1 working day off I started my maternity leave on the monday morning. I wouldn't have been working the weekend usually anyway.

I will take mine at 32 weeks.
I have a toddler and an older child to look after too, and have already PGP. I will enjoy the time with the children before baby comes and will give us time to prepare better.

I don’t think it’s too early. If you can take it it’s for you to decide.

Everyone’s situation is different and you have to see if that is what you might need actually. Maybe being in a stressful work environment won’t help in the last weeks so if you can start your time off earlier I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

@Wemake I understand that.

Maybe a bit different for me, my DP is home by 4.30 every day, at the latest and there are some "bumps and babies" groups I'd like to go to before the baby arrives - which working rules out!

I'm also happy with my own company - I'm looking forward to some serious uninterrupted Netflix bingewatching in the run up! And I also like to bake and do my family tree - neither of which I have much time for while working full time ( I do also have teenagers though so maybe this also makes a difference now...)