Pregnant but more sure if it's the right time!?

[Luc1992]

Hi mums,

I found out I'm pregnant last week.. on my late mother's birthday 😔

I've been on the pill and it hasn't worked!

I feel this is a blessing in disguise but..

Im with a new partner after my previous relationship failed - I have 2 children from the previous relationship! (3 & 5)

We have Been together just under a year.. we have a 6 month plan to buy a house!!

I feel so much pressure.. the timing is so crap now we've decided to buy in the next 6 months but also I'm desperate for a baby..

I'm stuck between wanting this baby so much and also creating a future for my current children I have.. my business has also just kicked off & we are saving every penny to buy a house. Everything is going perfectly.

Im worried if we have this baby we won't be able to buy.

Has anyone else been in this position did you make it work?

Please help? I need good advice from you all.

Confused/happy/emotional mumma xx

Theres never a right time! Our DS will be just 6yo when DD is due. Childcare has been the main issue regarding a second and hence the big gap. I went full time when he was about 3 and the last 10 months weve worked really hard and was saving a thousand a month. We realised 2 months ago if we dont pull our fingers out and get it done now, we wont get a mortgage when i drop from 56 to 30 hours after mat leave, so aswell as xmas, birthdays for all 3 of us and due little one, were just waiting for solicitors to do theyre thing and complete. Its been hard, Natwest moved the goal posts last second and we had to find another 1400 for the deposit but were (just about) managing it. Its been hard but knowing itll be done soon and ours its been worth it

Realistically, your group of friends probably doesn’t sit around telling you how great their children are and how much happiness it brings them because that would be horribly braggy .

I can’t give any real advice as I am only pregnant with my first but if having kids didn’t bring happiness people would stop at one and I don’t think the majority do.

Good luck and I hope you start feeling better soon!

I personally think it’s perfect timing. You’re about to buy a home which (going by your username being my age or so) is more than a lot of people our age. I am one of the only one of my friends to buy a home before 30 and everybody has children and are perfectly content with their lives.
My partner and I got pregnant when we only had a festival marriage and not legally married. We’re planning it for a year or so after we save for down payment on a house and also have a nice wedding. Well I ended up getting legally married baby bump and all! We bought our home before baby came even if it was my last trimester. We got help moving. It wasn’t a big deal and felt like perfect timing through maybe a tad too soon. I wanted to abort as I was very close to finishing my masters and knew I definitely wouldn’t get it done after having children since my husband wanted me to stay home. Well anyways it was the best choice to keep him and we are now pregnant with our third! Kids are hard yeah and that first year with your first child will seem impossible while you figure your parenting style out and respectfully mash your partners parenting wants/needs. But there will also be the greatest joys that year that break up all the hard and make it worth it. I LOVE being a mum and I love seeing my husband be a dad. I’m so damn happy it’s crazy

Oops ignore the first child bit, I meant to say first child with your new partner.

In theory in 6 months time you will still be able to buy a house and it would be good because it will be all cosy and new before baby arrives... you will only be around 6 months pregnant then.

If your worried about buying baby bits you can get alot of second hand stuff if that's easier for you due to money issues but I cant see why now isnt as good as time as any? X

what does your Partner say about it OP?

I have only just figured out how to reply to you all!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

I feel so much better reading your replies and opinions and knowing that I'm not the only one out there.

I think we will keep it, I'm very excited now! just keeping our fingers crossed that moving will all fall into place before baby arrives xx

My partner has said he'll support the decision and we will make it happen whatever we do x

Oh OP I really feel for you, that’s a shit situation.

The thing is, you are in a relatively new relationship and with your business taking off, new house in the horizon and with that a better life for your kids why would you risk it all away? Babies are hard work and put a huge strain in any relationship, what is lovely today might not be tomorrow and if that doesn’t work out, will you be happy being a single mum of 3 kids on your own? Your boyfriend says he will support but no one can guarantee it, if this is his first child it might be a shock for him and he will be left paying all the bills himself which he might resent. Besides buying a house and maintaining it is expensive, will you have enough money once baby is here and your hours are reduced? If your business is behind a desk you might still have a few months to save up but if it is something more active like dog walking, gardening, cleaning you won’t be able to carry on for much longer.
If I was you I’d put my kids future first and having a baby now would spoil it for them. Bringing a baby to the mix once house is bought makes it a much more responsible decision HTH x