Need to order bridesmaid dress but secretly pregnant please help!

[LouTTC]

One of my good friends just asked me to be a bridesmaid for her April wedding, which I’m thrilled about! I am six weeks pregnant, so will be around six months pregnant (fingers crossed!) at the time.

I haven’t told my friends that we were TTC (trying to conceive) or that I am now happily pregnant. I also had some bleeding and cramping that gave me a miscarriage fright last week, so not overly keen to tell anyone til I’ve at least seen a scan and heartbeat to check there’s really a viable bean in there.

However, my friend wants to order our bridesmaids dresses right now to take advantage of a deal. They’re knee length, thick material, fitted and not that forgiving (I would think it would be unflattering even if I wasn’t pregnant). I’ve already told her I want to order a size larger than I am as I’d rather it was too big and take it in, than too small, but I’m worried even this may not fit and I can’t tell her the real reason I want a big dress!

What would you do?

Honestly, if she's a close enough friend to be bridesmaid for, I'd just tell her and ask her to keep it to herself. Doesn't sound like the dress will accommodate a bump, so it's not like you can just order a different size. You're either going to need a different dress or to step down. Hopefully just a different dress!

Congratulations!

Tell her

If she's a good friend you need to tell her. Also offer the option of stepping down. Weddings are fraught enough without worrying if a bridesmaid will fit her dress. (Obviously I say this a little tongue in cheek as I would never prioritise the look of my wedding over a friend - I would be delighted for her and allow her to buy a dress much closer to the day. Sod the look of the wedding. She would be one of my dearest friends otherwise I wouldn't have asked her to be a bridesmaid.)

You need to tell her. If she’s close enough a friend to be bridesmaid for then surely you’d want her to know and support you if you did have a miscarriage? Don’t let her spend ££ on a dress you already know you won’t fit into.

You need to tell her. It's not fair of you to let her order an expensive dress that won't fit you. One size bigger will not fit. Congratulations by the way.

I found it such a weight off my mind to have 1 or 2 close friends who knew I was pregnant before 12 weeks. The secrecy is exhausting! If she's a good enough friend to be her bridesmaid, just tell her. It'll be so much easier for everyone.

You need to tell her. It’s unfair to let her buy a dress when you know it won’t fit in six months.

I would have an early private scan to put my mind at rest, then confide in her. She may prefer you're not a bridesmaid as it will be stressful, the dress situation etc, and that's her call. Or she may just agree you could wear a different style in a similar or complimentary colour. In my first pregnancy, I got the early scan as I was too anxious to wait another 6 weeks for my NHS scan.

I would order the dress 2 sizes up if possible and then tell her after the 12 week scan. You can always get it taken in closer to the day but not taken out lol. If she’s a good friend it won’t matter how pregnant you are - she will want you there anyway.

I think if she is the type to keep quiet I would tell her. But if this is your first I wouldn't worry so much as many people only show a little in their first by six months.
I'm in my third pregnancy and 5 months and could probably still squeeze into something two sizes bigger than I was before pregnancy.
During my second I had a wedding at 5 months and did just that. Depends on the fit of the dress TBH.

I'm in my first pregnancy and six months along. Two dress sizes up would have stopped fitting about three months ago lol if the dress is a fitted design and not a stretch fabric! You really must tell her. At the very least you could just tell her you're TTC and worried you may be pregnant.

I’d tell my friend. I’d want to her talk if something bad happened in pregnancy anyway so I wouldn’t mind telling her but asking her to keep it to herself. You must be close enough for that if she’s asked you to be BM.

Sorry for bad grammar, multi tasking!!

P.s. congrats!!!

As has been said, you really ought to tell her.