Really struggling with weight gain/how I look

[Bellasblankexpression]

I know, I know, it’s temporary, I’m pregnant, I’m creating a life and it’s wonderful - and I really am grateful and do appreciate all that, especially having had previous losses but I’m also really down about how I look and feel.

I’m 30 weeks and have put on just under two stone. I was a healthy weight before and aside from the first three months of sickness induced beige, I’ve eaten a relatively healthy diet but I AM eating more than usual, much more, as I’m constantly hungry.
I’ve also got SPD So whereas I used to run and do weights four to six times a week I’m now just swimming and walking when I can.

I just feel gross and I have ten weeks to go. I have a double chin, and at only five foot two, I feel very aware of the weight gain.

Logically I know I’m not insanely big, I’m still in extra small maternity wear as a lot of it is too big, and I can fit into some of my
Pre pregnancy tops, but I just really hate the way I look.

Nothing feels nice on, I never feel put together anymore, I just feel scruffy and swollen and know it’s going to get worse.

I think I just needed to rant. If it talk about it in real life everyone just says oh you look great don’t be silly, and I know I AM being silly but it doesn’t change the way I feel.

Rant over.

I put on 4 stone in my first pregnancy
I had chronic fatigue syndrome, anaemia, constant heamerrhoids and spd
I was like you - couldn’t gym it anymore or jog (sorry to say 9 years later I still can’t due to pelvis going out of line when i do)
I had my second 6 years ago and still have just over a stone to loose
I have fibromyalgia (and pelvis is crap) and find it intensely difficult to exercise other than short walks with my dog
I used to be so fit and healthy and slim!
If I had more willpower with food and wine I would prob have lost it all by now.

Tell yourself that it will get better. I have a chronic health condition which exhausts me. If you don’t have this, you will succeed in getting back to normal once youre not so tired anymore.
It’s so tough being pregnant
Think of it this way:/
Maternity clothes are still small on you. Well maternity clothes were all too small on me 😂😂😂 so you can’t be that bad 😉

Thank you for posting! Sorry, I must sound like such a vain brat, when you're struggling with a chronic condition!

I know I'm being an idiot, and I will definitely try to think more positively about it. I don't think it helps that I didn't sleep very well last night due to neighbours having a Halloween party, so I've definitely got up on the wrong side of bed!

I think it just needed to get it out of my system

i could've written this word for word :( and to top it off, im sick of peoples comments saying how huge I am and im having a massive baby.

im 28 weeks and put on above 2 stone.

:(

31 weeks and about 35lb gain.

Sad times.

Have a 40th birthday this weekend which I'm dreading!

Glad it's not just me, although sorry you're feeling like it too.
I just don't know what to do with myself to try and make myself feel a bit better.

I've ordered some more maternity wear but I'm really struggling to put outfits together, I just feel so scruffy and massive!

It is hard OP! I’m someone who doesn’t like gaining weight, I have a happy weight that I barely budge off when not pregnant! I also usually love experimenting with healthy, veg loaded meals & keeping active.

Pregnancy, I have had HG both times & live off beige, unhealthy food and I feel gross for it. I have quite severe anaemia, so zero energy to even consider keeping my activity levels up.. I just feel like a shell of myself & just don’t enjoy the way I feel in pregnancy. I can barely be bothered to wash my hair or put makeup on, so often I don’t!

BUT second pregnancy I do have some hindsight! It’s not forever, you will get back to yourself I promise! I put on 3 stone last pregnancy. From diet alone, I lost 2 stone in 2 months and felt good again. I didn’t ‘diet’ as frankly I was too exhausted & needed cake but just going back to normal eating filled with healthy foods! Then, when I’d recovered from birth (took a little while), I got out walking everyday with the pram and built my fitness back up! I had lost all the weight by 6/7 months. I’ve never fully regained my fitness as life is different now & I have very different priorities but my daughter is 2.5 and prior to this pregnancy, I was feeling happy & healthy!

Bellas
I didn’t think that at all honestly
You have the right to feel like crap!
Lack of sleep is horrendous
Both of my kids had obstructive sleep apnea
So I know exactly how you feel

How do you normally dress when you’re not pregnant ?
Leggings, tunics it’s jeans and tops?

That is helpful, thank you. I just feel a bit hopeless at the moment, like I'm never going to be me again.
I think a lot of it is the impact of not exercising in a more mental way - I feel like I'm being really lazy because I used to be so much more active, which in turn makes me feel sluggish and even more gross.

I've been eating things like eggs, salad, veg, lots of lentils and veg based dinners, chicken, Greek yogurt and fruit, unsalted nuts, pasta but with homemade sauce and all the veggies, as well as homemade curries and things but the odd pizza and takeaway has slipped in here and there, and I have had a mega craving for twirls and hit chocolate so my diet hasn't been the best!

It’s just as bad when you don’t gain much, trust me.
My first pregnancy I gained 3 stone. Never really lost it until after baby number 2.
Now pregnant (35 weeks) with baby number 3 and people keep telling me I look small and I’ll probably need to be induced yadda yadda.
People are arseholes.

Normally I wear skinny jeans and stripy tops/ fitted tops/ I'm short and curvy so fitted things look better on me. I've tried to stick with the same kind of style but I guess I just don't feel good like I used to.

I'm still managing to fit in a few pre pregnancy tops with longer vests underneath, and a few pre pregnancy jumpers. I'm actually really struggling with shoes I can't bend to get a lot of my boots on and because my legs look chunkier (they were fairly chunky to begin with) a lot of them don't look quite right even if I do manage to get them on! Am currently living in the same pair of Superga's but hoping to get a pair of slip on ankle boots that look nice so I can feel a bit smarter.

Thankfully I don't have loads of social plans this Christmas as due early Jan so we decided to keep things quiet if we can, so I don't have a lot to dress up for. I feel for the poster who has a 40th coming up!

I work for myself as well so have been lucky in that I don't have to go into the office but it does mean I spend a lot of time in sweatpants lately, which I don't think helps!

Sleep apnea sounds horrible, poor you!

@Mrsmememe think you nailed it there! There will always always be comments.

I could have written this post word for word! 24 weeks pregnant with twins; first trimester was a non-stop beige buffet and even though I now eat healthy again I also feel starving all the time so certainly snack/eat a lot more. I also used to run and spin 4-5 times a week, but have PGP so struggle to even walk the dog (some days I struggle to walk up the stairs!)

Things that are helping me:
The knowledge it really is only temporary - those running shoes will be there once baby arrives; I cannot wait for that first ParkRun back, no matter how slow!
Comfortable clothing - my underwear digging in just made me feel like shite so I bought loads of maternity undies and they feel fabulous. I also bought a few maternity bits - some nice dresses and over bump jeans - I make more of an effort to get ‘dolled up’ of a morning and it does make me feel better!
Never weighing myself, ever. There’s no point and it’s not going to make me feel better!!

Thanks @MrsEG can I ask where you got your maternity undies from!
I think you're right, I've got some sweatpants on today but a nice fitted stretchy top and because I'm comfy I actually feel better.
I've struggled to find maternity wear that fits me properly as I'm quite short with slight shoulders and the arms and shoulders all seem to hang off me!

You're right about the running shoes, and I don't have too long to go really in the grand scheme of things. I'll just have to be careful not to pig out over christmas - I'm half hoping I get that "feeling full" thing soon that a lot of my friends had where they couldn't manage much after baby got bigger.

Congrats on the twins!!!

@Bellasblankexpression I have a few packs of these: www.amazon.co.uk/INNERSY-Maternity-Underwear-Over-Bump-Pregnancy/dp/B07RP8JQ8P/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&s=clothing&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1572793499&refinements=p_89%3AInnersy&sr=1-1
They are so, so comfy. I’ve also got a few pairs of nice maternity leggings and have been wearing them with long shirts/jumpers and boots. I find New Look really good for maternity wear!

I'm 23 weeks and very much feeling the same. I've never been small but lost some weight last year and have now put it all back on again and none of the new clothes I bought fit :( have bought some maternity jeans so at least something other than my running leggings fit but feel very blerg as am also now struggling with running too. Need to get into a better routine with food again and try and get some other exercise into my life otherwise it's going to be a very long 4 months!

Totally get it. I put on 4st with my first though I did lose most of it within 18 months. Try shopping for a nice necklace or earrings. Clothes just aren't as fun when pregnant!

Also not to be negative but just a heads up. I got a nasty shock when I still looked pregnant after the birth. Tummy took a long time to go down, was saggy and flabby and I felt like the blobbiest piggy on the planet. Anyway I got over myself and gradually figured out how to change the way I dressed to flatter my new shape. It was a shock though as no one had told me!

I'm on my second pregnancy and can relate to this. I put on 4 stone with my first and let my body do its thing because I naturally carry very little fat so I took my insatiable hunger as a sign my body needed it.

But - it's miserable. I've been in maternity clothes since 7 weeks. My boobs are huge. I just don't feel like me. It doesn't help that most models of maternity wear I buy are willowy and probably wearing fake baby bumps. It's not reality.

Like a pp, my stomach didn't pop back after birth. It took 6 months which I found very hard, particularly because I didn't expect it. I just thought I'd be back in my normal clothes almost immediately.

This time I have more perspective so I think I'm dealing with it slightly better because I know it's likely that I'll be back to my pre pregnant shape this time next year. It's a very temporary phase in your life.

I could have written this OP but in reverse!
I’m 18+6 and still almost a stone lighter than when I got pregnant (was already slim).
I was hit HARD by HG and still eat a fraction of what I used to!
I get so much guilt - was hospitalised last week and had a ‘we’re concerned’ chat from a lovely midwife one evening - but it’s so hard - I don’t want to starve my baby but equally don’t want to get sick constantly.

Just feel so exhausted and unwell all the time and like the Dr’s/ midwives think I’m failing. Managed to put on 3lbs and was super chuffed but the hospital were less impressed

@Disneymademedoit I totally get where you're coming from. I've had horrendous HG and lost over a stone in 6 weeks. I was so skinny. I was in hospital so many times and got weighed several times. With all the medication I'm on I can finally eat and put 6lbs back on so far and in my 19 week.
I've had the opposite comments of you need to eat more and eat as much as you can and the baby needs food to grow etc.
Sadly whether you lose a lot or gain weight people can be so hurtful with comments when they have no idea what people are going through.

@MrsEG I think I love you, I ordered some of the underwear on prime last night and it arrived already and it's SO COMFY. Now I just need to find some comfy leggings and I think I'll feel a bit better.

@T0rt0ise @Preggosaurus9 @Stringervest it's such a horrible way to feel isn't it, even when you know it's (hopefully) temporary. Thanks for the candid advice about the tummy not going down, I think I'll really struggle with that if it happens but hopefully at least now I know there's a good chance it might so it won't be such a shock.

@abbs1 @DisneyMadeMeDoIt you poor things. It must be awful getting those comments when you've been so poorly. I really struggled with three months of normal sickness so I have utter sympathy for you, hopefully you'll manage to gain a little more, but the 'support' you're getting doesn't sound that helpful to be honest! Surely they know you're not actively trying to lose/not put on weight?!

They’re fabulous aren’t they!! Enjoy :)

If it makes you feel any better, if you're naturally slim and have been eating fairly healthy throughout the project, the majority of the weight should come back off quite quickly afterwards.

@Bellasblankexpression have a look at loveleggings - a friend recommended them and they're fab. I also bought some jeans from JoJo maman bebe today which are really comfy and actually quite flattering. Now to find some nice t-shirts ...

I’m glad you’ve found something to wear
I found maternity leggings over the bunp and just long tees (maternity) with long cardigans worked best at this time of year
Nowhere sold maternity clothes when I was pregnant except ASOS
You need to start to feel proud of yourself now
You’re growing a little baba and of course you’re going to eat stuff you wouldn’t normally
Of course you’ll be tired
Be easy on yourself xxx