How can i emotionally deal with my miscarriage

[Bethx1993]

Hi ladies
Hoping for some advice
A week ago (i was 7 weeks pregnant) i experinced pain and bleeding i knew it wasnt right had the relavant checked and i was right i was experienceing a miscarriage i found out for definite 5 days ago yet i cant stop grieving or crying i feel so empty like people around me dont understand like i will never experince the happiness i had 2 weeks ago i feel anger and resentment to other people i dont want to feel like this i want to be happy again how do i get there x

So sorry for your loss. People will come on with ideas and suggestions, but only one has ever worked for me, and that is time. You just have to feel it until it gets more bearable. It doesn't feel like it now, but it does get more bearable, I promise.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try the goodbye ceremony / self care / writing a card to your baby / talking about it routes - they do work for some people (just not me) - hopefully they might help you. It's so painful and I hope you can keep busy or at least distracted for a while.

I am so sorry for your loss, it isn't a nice time for you, sending you some unmumsnetty hugs.

I had 2 last year, I copied by looking at them as my body deciding that there was something wrong and either the baby or I were at risk, so my body let it go.

I allowed myself a good cry and then mentally put my emotions in a box and put it away (I'm a compartmentaliser) you could say I didn't deal I just squashed how I felt.

It does get easier, you have only just had your miscarriage, your hormones will still be all over the place as well. For the moment just concentrate on self care, try to eat as well as you can, rest, sleep, get some fresh air if you feel like it. Talk about your baby whenever you want & don't be afraid to speak to your GP if you feel you are struggling. Try to live one day, one hour at a time, live in the moment if you can, don't make plans for in the future just yet, there is plenty of time for that when your grief has subsided & don't rush to try & conceive straight away, it is natural that all you want is to be pregnant again as soon as you can, but you need to heal from losing this baby so that when you do decide the time is right you can enjoy your next pregnancy, yes you will be nervous because of having lost a previous pregnancy but you need to be mentally & physically ready.

Just be kind and gentle to yourself and have a good wallow. Your grief is nothing to be ashamed of and is normal. Your hormones have crashed from sky high to normal very fast. I had two miscarriages in between successful pregnancies, not my first. Even though I knew it wasn't meant to be and I could carry a baby I howled for days. I hope you have real life support. Just let it all out.

@Bethx1993 I am so sorry for your loss. The rawness of the grief you are feeling now is awful. I’m afraid that there is no quick way to feel better and as others have already said it is absolutely healthy and normal to let the tears flow, be angry, and just let the emotional rollercoaster run. It does improve. Slowly over time. One day you will be happy again.
Have you been given details of the miscarriage association and SANDS? If you are ok to tell me what area you live in I would be happy to see what support services there are which might be helpful.
Sending love

Hi ladies
Thank you
I just want to feel normal again not so empty i live in cardiff in wales my oartner is amazing he seams to have come to terms with things better than me but he always has done i can feel my self shutting out the world i have friends who are pregnant and family and i can feel my self withdrawing from them my boss isnt very understanding trying to rush me back to work which makes me feel like i shouldnt have time to greive i know it will get better and i know one day i will have my babies thats what i have to keep telling my self right now xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's two years today since my miscarriage and I remember everything you are feeling. I let myself be sad but I also had to take on big-ish projects to distract myself and get by in the weeks after, such as painting my living room. Two of my closest friends also had newborns at the time and I couldn't bring myself to visit them. I think you need to allow yourself to feel the way you are, don't try and hide from it. As PP say, time does make it easier to manage and while you will always feel sad when you think about it, the feeling you have now won't last forever. 💐💐

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I lost my first child through miscarriage and it hurts so much. I still cry now about it and I always wonder what my baby would be like etc. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. The loss of a baby is really hard and something that takes time to come to terms with. Stay strong hun.

I'm sorry for your loss. With my mc's I felt numb with my first for two weeks, with my second I took a week off work and then it was another couple of weeks before I started to feel able to deal with it. Your hormones will be taking a huge whack at the moment so take time and be gentle on yourself.

Thank you its a relief to know that feeling like this is normal and will go my DP asked me to go out today for the first time in 5 days since finding out and i cried in the middle off morrisons because how dare the world go on when ours has crashed i thought i was ready to carry on but not quite yet ment to go back to work thirsday but question wether i should thank you again ladies x