Dm going away close to due date?

[Cornflakesncake]

Hi, just a quick post to get some opinions on this really as I think I may be overreacting due to this having been a bad pregnancy and lots of hormones raging.

My dm is supposed to be taking care of dc1 when I go into hospital to have dc2, I told her I could arrange a child minder but she wanted to do it and this was arranged at the very start of my pregnancy. DM just came back from a weekend away with her bf and has announced that her partner wants to go on another weekend away (I will be 37 weeks) he also wants to go for a one after that to celebrate his birthday (I will be 39 weeks).
Me and my siblings don't have a relationship with dm's boyfriend and i have only bumped into him twice despite them having been together for afew years as my dm hid him for 2 years then he got annoyed and thought we didnt want to meet him. He has been abit huffed ever since and isn't interested in having a relationship with us despite my dm making an effort for his family. My dm says her herself that her partner is all for his own family and not bothered about hers.
Dm's bf knows my dm is going to look after dc1 and is aware when that is. He has never suggested weekends away before in such close proximity and something doesn't sit right with me about this? Is this really all just a coincidence? If I go into labour when they're away I will have to give birth alone and dh will miss the birth of his child as will have to stay with dc1.
What do you ladies think? I'm feeling abit anxious about it all but don't want to be selfish. It's too late now to go with the childminder as well.

Sorry I said it was a quick post and realise it was a bit of a rant...

Ask siblings to watch the older kid.

Why is it too late for a childminder? Could you ask a good friend instead?

I think you just need to arrange a childminder.
Let DM do what she has to. She's being a knob though.

If she chooses to go away then I'd just arrange alternative childcare.

Why is it too late to organise a childminder? If you're not even 37 weeks yet then you should have time. I wouldn't rely on your Mother for anything as she is now putting her partner before you. He can suggest all the weekends away he wants but it doesn't mean she has to agree. Why has she not said no to him?

Find alternatives, it's not fair to tell your mum to keen every day and night free for a month ish just in case you go into labour - have options

Imo leave them to it. Dm may well see he is making her choose. He may not be the favoured one...

In your position I would book a doulla and leave DC1 with your DH.

Thanks everyone for all your helpful comments.
I don't know a childminder and worry it would be too late to find one in time who I trust and then whether there would be enough time for ds to build a relationship with them as he is only 2 and will gey distressed with strangers. Me and dh also haven't budgeted for one either.
I don't have any other family member who can do it either.
I didn't expect my dm not to have a life and want her to fully enjoy all the days and nights, I just wish it was closer to home. I never ask anything of people as I'm not like that and even my dm has said she wanted to do this for me because I dont ask anything of her and never have.

Thanks again for your comments and very true @Winterdaysarehere maybe be ks making her choose. I wanted to tell myself it was a coincidence but I'm not so sure.

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My mum was supposed to watch my son when I had my second... she rang a week before I was due to day a good friends funeral was on my due date in a different city but most babies don't come on their due date... of course I went into labour late the night before and had DS2 on his due date! They hadn't even arrived for the funeral when I rang to say I'd had him!

My sister had my son for the day and then my parents picked him up on the way home. If not then hubby would have got him!

Update: dm has said no to the 39 week one but he was very disappointed because he wanted to go for his birthday. They will just go at 37 weeks.

@Mammyloveswine thank goodness for your sister and that your dh didnt miss the birth as that must have been so worrying ...

Obviously I don’t know your circumstances but is home birth an option? Then you don’t need anybody for your dc1, unless you for any reason need to transfer into hospital.
A doula is also a good option, especially alongside a home birth as at least you would have support from your doula if you needed to transfer in and dh stay with dc1.

@Lj8893 thanks for your comment and helpful suggestion. Unfortunately home birth isnt an option as I have a complication meaning I will need to be in hospital. Wish I could afford a doula
Now dm is just going away at 37 weeks so hopefully it would be very unlikely i'd go into labour then.

I do get where your coming from and it's good that she has said no to the 39 week trip... that being said I think you should really have a back up plan just incase.
My mum & dad will be watching my children when I go into labour but I also have my sister on stand by because you never know when its actually going to happen. After all my parents could be at work or similar.. My mum & dad have even declined to go to my cousins wedding because it's the same month I'm due. I told them to still go but of course they dont want to be away when I have the baby.
Hopefully it doesnt happen for you but if you was to go into labour when shes away at 37 weeks... your husband would have to stay at home with dc1 unless you have a back up plan too xx

@Boymummy3 thanks for your comment. I just wish I had a back up plan now but I don't. Hopefully it's unlikely I'll go into labour at 37 weeks but as another poster said it would be typical! They dont usually do away that much so I didnt foresee the being the case or I would have budgeted and made plans with a childminder well in advance. I might have to gear myself up to give birth alone if that's the case but I'm trying to stay level headed as I know again its unlikely. Chances are my dm will be here.

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