WWYD Wedding and pregnancy

[thistimelucky]

I'm currently pregnant with my first, we have been trying over a year and is very much a planned pregnancy. It's early days so this may as of yet be a non issue.

My partner proposed the same weekend we had our BFP. Initially we decided to hold off on wedding plans until the baby is 1 year old, but now I'm thinking we maybe better getting married before. Legal aspects aside I think we would enjoy the day more not having a little one, assuming a 1 year old will bed to be in bed by 6ish, prob teething, want his mum/dad over the grandparents etc. Unsettled in a hotel rather than at home.

I would also fine it rude to ask the GP's to babysit when they would want to enjoy the wedding as well, plus I want to spend time with my guests who would be travelling from all over. Either way I won't be drinking if I'm pregnant or have a baby to look after.

Any advise or experiences of a pregnant bride would be appreciated

Congrats on your BFP and engagement!

If you really have your heart set on getting married I would maybe try and do it whilst pregnant. You may find you cant justify the cost once the baby is here and feel the money could be better spent elsewhere.

There is no 'wrong' thing to do though. There are pros and cons to both, but ultimately the choice is yours.

I was 26 weeks pregnant when we got married. We’d got engaged, booked our wedding then found out I was expecting DS1. I bought a maternity wedding dress from the website Tiffany Rose and wore it with flat shoes. I was absolutely exhausted by about 9pm and so we left our night do early - left our guests partying! I loved being a pregnant bride and it enhanced our day.

It would be easier to do whilst pregnant than with a baby in my opinion. My advice would be to arrange the wedding for some time in your second trimester which is usually when you’re feeling a lot better. It is a long day and very tiring but your guests will understand if you need to leave early. Definitely get a maternity wedding dress though, you need to be comfortable!

Congratulations and good luck!

Very much the same as yourself. We got Engaged when pregnant. We married one month after DD first birthday. Big hotel wedding 190 guests . All neices and nephews attended. Once speeches and dinner was done the little ones went with their other omset of grandparents. We hired a known and trusted childminder for the evening 8pm-2am. My mum took DD to her room and settled her for the night. The child minder had an easy job of sitting with her while she slept. My mum and MIL returned to the room a few times to check she hadn't woke or was fussing. Wedding ended at 1am and my mum went straight to her hotel room and kept DD till breakfast the next morning. It was lovely having DD there to celebrate with us and she was very cute in her dress

Thanks for the replies @Leftie624 I will be about 26 weeks too to give us enough time to get everything sorted. I just feel like as a couple we would enjoy the day a lot more being child free (I know that makes me sound really selfish but seeing friends/family with children I know as much as you love them they are hard work!)

It's not selfish. My best mate got married recently with her 18 month old there. She found it tough because of wanting to chat and enjoy the day but also having 1 eye on the toddler all day was stressful. The grandparents stepped in but obviously she couldn't switch off (and the two Nans are quite competitive with the toddler, which didn't help. She had to keep making sure it was fair in terms of time spent 🙄).

She loved her day but did say it would have been easier without a kid about

I was engaged with no date set when we got our unexpected BFP and organised a hasty wedding! I had no idea I was so traditional about it until I was faced with the prospect - got married at around 4&1/2 months and I'm so glad we did. I just feel like it tied everything up neatly and we could focus on the expense and future of having a baby without worrying about the cost of a wedding

I will say though that it is an added expense at an already expensive time!

Whatever works for you though - it's your day so you need to ensure that it works. Congrats on both xx

We got engaged at nine weeks and married at eighteen weeks.

Honestly, I wouldn’t do it any other way. We were able to just get on with it, keep it cheap and focus on what was important.

Getting married AFTER will always seem like an unnecessary expense for a long time. Also, long engagements are nonsense imho. If you want to get married, just do it!

Love a Very Happy Preggers Newlywed 💕

My OH proposed to me when I was 12 weeks pregnant (now 16, so very much newly engaged!).

Call me mad, but we are getting married when baby will be 4 months old.

It's gonna be stressful, and expensive, but it is how we want to do it :) My cousin is a nursery manager so is going to arrange childcare for us, and we have onsite accommodation at the venue for baby to be put to bed with said childminder. There will be a bit of boob pumping, feeding etc throughout the day which obviously isn't ideal on a wedding day, but apart from that we are happy for baby to be involved in the day.

Lets just not mention the 4 month time frame I've given myself to loose my baby weight and fit into my wedding dress....!

This is my thoughts @LividLaughLove. Wow @Sophie91 I don't think I would be brave enough for that but if it's what you want to do go for it! Sounds amazing!!

Just posed the same question to my mum and dad, they just looked at me like I'm mad . My sister had a one year old at her wedding, but she had a tiny party (12 of us) and no evening party, it was beautiful but she said the same - she couldn't justify spending an obscene amount of money after her baby was born. And I know I will feel the same.

I'm armed when I get home tonight with all these responses to show my DP lol.

You could get married while you're pregnant (register office) and have a big party once baby is born?

@DeviousBrie no I wouldn't do that, as I said it's not for legal reasons it's because I want to enjoy the day child free. If I was to do that I still have a child in toe for the party

We got married when our little girl was under 1 and I couldn't really relax in the evening, I was constantly wondering if she was okay and worrying about where and when she was going to sleep and I felt bad because our parents were taking it in turns to have her and so I felt like they couldn't really relax either. I do agree it's probably easier having the wedding whilst pregnant but prepare for how tired you will be!

The only thing I’d be cautious of is how well you’ll feel. Some people sail through pregnancy with no sickness or many aches/pains but not everyone. I get HG and while Ive see a marked improvement by 20 weeks in both pregnancies, the nausea never fully goes away & I get enormous food aversions (for example, I hate all my favourite things like chocolate, cake, curry, chicken ) Getting married while pregnant is literally my idea of hell. I feel so naff the whole 9 months, I’d never enjoy it. I’d much rather deal with a child at my wedding & not feel poorly!

Fingers crossed you’ll be wayyy luckier than me and be able to enjoy both pregnancy & a wedding if you choose!