Visitors when baby is born

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What is everyone doing about visitors when their baby is here?

My parents don't live close and are planning on coming to stay for a week or two to "help" but I don't understand what they mean by this! It's my first baby so perhaps I'm naïve but - we don't cook as we have a food delivery service, daily cleaning is minimal (just cat stuff, a bit of hoovering and laundry - all of which takes max half an hour)...all I can imagine wanting to do is stay in bed/on the sofa with the baby and DH!

My dad is also awful for moaning and bitching about people when they're not in a good state. He always complains about visiting my grandparents because it's boring, complains about visiting other people's children because they're noisy. I had a miscarriage last year and then made the very long journey to see them as was previously arranged and he keeps bringing up what a "terrible state" I was in. I was tired, that was it. I still made their Christmas dinner and participated in everything, I was just in bed by 9pm most evenings, fell asleep on the sofa after we'd been out, etc. And I know he'll be the same about me and a new baby if we're not up and about entertaining him all day long and going out for dinner.

I don't want to damage our relationship so I'll probably just suck it up but it is kind of stressing me out. Are other people having visitors in the week or two after birth? If you have before, was it actually helpful? I just really can't imagine what help is needed (but, as I said, this is my first baby and perhaps I have no idea!)

My parents came after a couple of weeks, we actually took a short holiday with them skiing .. better to wait until you have recovered a bit

If you are unsure, then I would definitely ask them not to stay. You could put it in a polite way and just say you'd like to have some quality time with your baby.

I didn't have anyone stay over, but we had about 4 groups of visitors every day for 3 weeks straight, and it drove me absolutely nuts by the end of it.

I think it's quite hard being a new mum, and you tend to feel a bit insecure and like you're being watched and judged for a little while. I found it really had trying to breastfeed in front of my thousand visitors and ended up giving up very quickly, which I still regret.

From my experience, visiting family also tend to think it's their place to tell you how you should be looking after your new baby.

Obviously all families are different, and I had a friend who asked her mum to stay for a month after the birth. I know that she felt this was massively helpful, so each to their own, but you seem like you don't want them there so I would say no and enjoy your experience instead of being stressed out :).

@tryagain20 I didn’t want visitors because I wanted it to be me and my husband. He was a treatment baby and I had been longing for the time when we would be home together just the three of us.
Everyone is different, and for me it was about time as a family unit of three. I absolutely love that others love him and wanted to meet him, but I wanted those days to myself/my husband.
The part I’m bitter about is that I really didn’t want visitors in hospital - to me it’s a vulnerable place to be and I was trying to establish breast feeding - that’s when MIL demanded she be allowed to visit and I was that exhausted I gave in, then she wouldn’t leave. She genuinely held my baby more than me in his first day on earth, and that makes me bitter. (So many MIL issues I could rival war and peace)

I plan on having a arrival event.
Obviously grandparents will visit and meet baby - they can visit often but I won’t be allowing for all hours of every day. For everyone else we’re planning on hosting an open afternoon day 12-4 open house for people to come along and meet baby. Gets a lot of people done at the onetime then I’m not worrying about it x