Keep or abort?! 38 and pregnant w child 3

[anonymoooose]

(here goes) I'm 38. Single mother of 2 boys (18 and 7). 18 year old doesn't live here has moved out with friends
I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. Had some nookie with my bootycall on Saturday 12th. Condom split. Got MAP same afternoon and took it. No problems. My period has been absent since I took my implant out on 31 aug. No sex at all in between this time. So I'm roughly two weeks
I've always wanted more children. I feel like this may be my last chance to have another. I've raised my boys alone. BUT I don't want this guy or his involvement. I actually blocked him last week because he brought cocaine up to my flat. Then told me to shut up when I told him to take it down to his car. He has 4 kids already.
I used to work in an abortion clinic so the thought of that makes me cry so hard. I don't know if I could do it. I'm really worried about other people's opinions. Family friends etc. I know I shouldn't itd be me raising the child but I worry because that would be 3 kids with 3 different fathers.
My GP said to wait two weeks and see if it comes and to take another test but...I'm freaking out. This decision is so hard. Anyone know of a similar situation. I understand I may get bashed. Just wondering if someone has experienced similar

I know nobody can make this decision for me. I guess I'm just sounding off. I could be making a big deal of nothing and my period could come tomorrow but I am really scared
Thanks in advance

No one is going to bash you. These are real choices women face everyday - as you know, having worked at a clinic yourself.
You have enough to worry about without the added pressure of what people will think etc. So let's strip that out. You don't have to tell people who aren't going to support you in your choice.
We are made to feel like abortion is a bad thing because those of us who have feel ashamed, and no one talks about it. But a lot of people do it. So try not to be guided by fear or shame.
More to the point: are you excited about having this baby? Do you want them? If the child is wanted, the other stuff will just have to be worked out. You can handle this. You've been handling it for 18 years!
It comes down to whether you want it.
Wish you luck in all this

@cheeseycharlie thank you so much. I think I have been suppressing my excitement under all the worry. I'm not in a good financial place right now as my debts rocketed during uni. But I'm slowly making a dent in them. The thought of raising another alone doesnt scare. Telling this guy and having to deal with him (or not which I prefer) is playing on me. Plus others thoughts
But thank you so much for your answer x

Good luck anonymoose. You will do what's best for you and your family xx

Good luck with whatever you choose.