When did you tell older DC?

[PiafPilaf]

My DD is 5 and desperate for a sibling. I’m now 6 weeks, which is a bit of a miracle as we’d been trying for 3 years, were told we were unlikely to conceive naturally, and had pretty much settled on adoption. I have a scan in a couple of days to check everything is in the right place and I don’t know whether to tell her then, if all is well, or wait until 12 weeks. Close family and a few friends know because I have fairly bad morning sickness, which if last time is anything to go by will only get worse. Would it be silly to tell her next week? I’m worried she’ll not understand why Mummy is so ill and also worried that someone else (ie MIL or SIL!) will accidentally let slip before we can tell her.

Tricky one @PiafPilaf - not the same really, but we had to tell our DS who is 3 at around 7 weeks as he's a really boisterous little boy and kept trying to jump all over me (he kept getting upset thinking I had a 'poorly' tummy all the time). We'd just had a scan at that point, so had the comfort from that. He only brings it up now and again- but we found out he'd told everyone at nursery about it lol! Have our 12w scan on Tuesday, so still don't feel 'out of the woods' but I do feel that he's young enough that if all goes wrong he will be fine (he's very astute for a 3 year old, so would have to have some kind of conversation). I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you think she'd be ok if things didn't carry on, you could tell her. In a way maybe that could make it seem as though it's still a 'possibility'? At 5 if you tell her she definitely will have a brother/sister it might hit hard if anything were to happen... Sorry- probably doesn't help much!x

And congratulations!!!xx

After the 12 week scan, mine are teens.

My son was 6 and he was told at 13 weeks as that's when I had my scan

Congratulations

12 weeks. Be prepared that if you tell her now she will literally tell everyone, this may or may not bother you.

I would wait, I'm 11 weeks myself and very sick - I've told DC (5 and 8) that I have a bad non-infectious tummy bug (!) But will tell them the truth after the 12 week scan.

I've been in the position before of having an early scan at 8 weeks where everything was fine, then MC at 9 weeks, and I think it's just too much to ask them to process if something goes wrong.

My pregnancy book had a statistic I think it was 99% chance of a successful pregnancy after a positive 12 week scan so I'll take those odds. I just think the potential burden of bad news is too much for a 5 year old at the early stages.

Lots of luck for your pregnancy and hope all goes well.