Pregnant at 48

[iloveonions23]

I am pregnant at 48. It was an accident and obviously not planned. I am now 11 weeks and had expected to have miscarried by now as statistically most pregnancies like this do end in miscarriage. the stats are very patchy as most older births at my age are IVF with donor eggs.. I have three lovely children 12, 11 and 8. My husband is very, very unhappy and wants me to have a termination. He is very upset and it has caused a real rift between us. he is 50 next year. Before this we were really happy and everything was going really well. I am feeling very lonely, upset and tearful. I m actually secretly happy about this and count ever consider a termination unless something was seriously wrong.. We tried very hard for all our children having struggled for years to get pregnant with the first. Ironically, we also tried for 3 years to have a fourth child, obviously without success.Crying my eyes out writing this. I am terrified something will go wrong and also terrified that I am going to have another baby so late. anyone out there in my position? I could really do with a friend or someone who understands. Thanks

er congratulations OP!? I think you need to think really carefully. Not just about yourself, but about your children, and your H. Ultimately you'll all be affected by this new addition. And while surprise babies can bring immense joy (my youngest certainly does), they can cause immense stress, including to your relationship.

I got pg and terminated at 46. It's really difficult isn't it? But at the end of the day, I put my existing children first and I didn't think they would benefit from another child in the house or in my life . I also didn't want to be in my 60s when the child leaves home - as it is my youngest will be 18 when I'm 59 which seems old enough to me.

And like you, my partner at the time was in his 50s. I just thought it was too old to be a dad. He wanted to spend his time drinking, cycling and sailing And ultimately I thought he'd just be too geriatric to be a good, energetic, engaged father. (and he turned out to be a violent drunken pyschopath, so probably for the best anyway..(for both me and the child).)

Good luck whatever you decide.

My auntie had an unplanned baby at 48, my uncle was 52. They had a 22 year gap to their only other child. The baby was completely healthy, he is a 39 year old lawyer now with his own family. My aunt died last year, my uncle is still healthy and active. It worked out fine, my uncle spent his earlier retirement running kids swimming clubs etc. Do what feels right to you. I hope your husband comes round to it . There is a possibility that much of the hard work will fall on you if he doesn't. No one else but you can decide.

I dont have any advice, I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! 💜
I hope everything works out and your dh comes around 🌼🌸🌼

Good luck today OP.

If I sounded flippant about your husbands feelings in a previous post I didn't mean to come a cross like that. Of course you need to consider your husband and children but ultimately the decision does come down to you. You are the woman carrying this baby. You are the patient and you are happy.

My cousins mum had him at 48. If you want this baby then keep it

I think you need your Dh on board - it's not just so easy as to say keep it. ultimately my last baby broke up my marriage as H didn't want it (even though of course he was instrumental in making me pregnant!).
hopefully he will come round, but I think you need to be careful.

Never have an abortion you don't want. It's your body and if your husband was so adamant he didn't want another child he could have had the snip.

Congratulations. As a teacher I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a new mum of your age. A school friend had a mum of your age and a Dad of 53 when she was born. Her Dad passed away in his mid 80s but got a decent amount of time with his grandchildren. Her Mum is still fit and healthy and her older siblings (18 - 20 year age gap) adore her and have been wonderfully supportive of her.

I know lots of adoptive parents who became parents to babies and toddlers in their late 40s and 50s. I bumped into a 68 year old foster mother of twin newborns in a supermarket the other day! Obviously all different to carrying and giving birth to a child in your late 40s but as far as parenting goes, if the authorities think that 40s and 50s is a decent age to parent little ones then there is no reason to feel pressured by society or family into having an abortion you do not want.

I have older parents and it's done me no harm.

How are things op?

My parents had a similar situation with me. They were 43 and 48, and my siblings were far older. It was difficult, but they chose to have the fourth baby.